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Thread: Men: Question about dating and children

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    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    Men: Question about dating and children

    Recently my daughter posted her picture on Match.com. She is beautiful, both inside and out, young (27), etc. The first month she had over 2000 lookers, the second month about the same. She is also a mother of one child. My question is why is this a problem for men? She would like an adult relationship with a man. The men who have responded to her are usually 14-20 years older than her or are overweight, balding, or live too far away. I don't mean to offend any of the men who are overweight or balding who are reading this. I'm just trying to understand why men have a problem with one child. She is the one that wants an attractive man nearer her age. She has free time once a week, every other weekend, and tradeoffs on holidays. And with grandma and grandpa understanding her need to meet the right person, she has help on the other days so she could be free, if needed. Thanks for any and all responses.
    Last edited by tvfanz; 01-19-2006 at 11:00 AM.

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    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    I'm not a guy but just wanted to add my two cents. Hope you don't mind.

    I don't know if it's necessarily the child they have a problem with. I tried Match.com and got NO responses.

    Some of those personal ad sites you can post a profile for free but you have to pay a membership fee to respond to ads. I think that's why you get so many views and so few responses.

    Good luck to your daughter.

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    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    Thanks for such a quick response. The first time she did an online match service she didn't post a picture. She had one response in a three month period. It also wasn't match.com Everyone told her to try the match.com site with pictures. It seems to work as far as lookers, but we're guessing that it's the child that is the problem. When she winks and emails the guys that are of interest to her, she doesn't get any replies. We know it's not her profile. The men who have responded have even said the profile is quote "the best bio they've seen" whatever that means.

    I'm beginning to think that the online dating thing is really just a place to window shop. lol

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    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    It annoyed me that I kept getting "matches" sent to me that were nothing like what I was looking for. I think that was through Lava Life. I can't remember, I posted a profile at a few different ones before giving up. I specifically said I wanted a nonsmoker, nonreligious person and every one they sent to me was either a smoker, a religious fanatic, or both. No offense intended to the religious but it's not for me and I don't think I could have a successful relationship with someone if religion is very important to them and not to me.

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    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    I understand about the smoking/religion thing. No offense taken. She has gotten some of the "unwanted asked for things too". But for the most part, that hasn't been the problem. It's who has responded that is. She doesn't want someone who's almost or are as "old" as her parents. lol

    I sorta understand a younger man not wanting to jump into a "family" situation, but she's looking for someone who's at least 27. There can be a lot more "baggage" than one child which could affect a relationship (like anger problems, drinking (like alcholism drinking not the occasional or social), etc.).

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    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
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    What about e-harmony.com? Everyone says that is the "best" one. Has she tried that? I had "fairly" good luck when I was online dating (back in 1999) but I ended up finding the "ONE" at a night club - go figure! I was specific in my wants (as in not wanting someone with kids) - but I'm female and I knew that I wouldn't want to deal with the ex, etc. Good luck!

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    all hot air Ana Bannana's Avatar
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    I have a friends who have been successful with the online thing. One, is currently engaged to a guy she met at Match.com. The other, is happily married to someone she met at yahoo.com and just delivered their 2nd child. and a third had a very scarey short term relationship with a guy she met at eharmony.
    The old phrase is true though - You have to kiss a lot of frogs...
    And patience - the right person is out there somewhere and probably worth the wait.

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    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    That is too funny about how you met your man. Congrats!!
    My daughter has never been married. The "ex" is in the picture, but of late, he comes to our house to pick up the child. My daughter's trying very hard to keep him out of her life as much as possible. She wants as little contact with him as can be feasibly be arranged.
    She knew in the beginning when she was 20-24 that having a child would be met mostly with rejection from her age group of guys. But what befuddles me is the amount of guys out there who are older (at least 27) who are "attractive" who haven't responded to her.
    And I know you've probably heard this before from other grandparents, but her child is a sweet, good natured child who wants to please. He's really not a big problem. I'll tell you from experience my other grandchild (not from same daughter, but my son) is pure handful--he's living up to the terrible twos in every way.

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    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    I have a lot of male friends in their late 20's and they all have relationship problems, mostly of the "girlfriends who don't last that long" variety. The one thing that all of them have in common is a reluctance to get involved with a woman with children, no matter how attractive, employed, or sane that lady may be. They all say it's because they feel that no matter how well intentioned the woman may be about it, the guys all fear being in the life of a little one and all that it entails. On the other hand, my friend Wayne (divorced father of one) would refuse to let any of his dates meet his son until they'd been dating several months.
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  10. #10
    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    That's exactly how my daughter feels. She firmly believes she won't have the "guy" meet her son until she feels he will be around for more than a blip on the radar screen. She wants to get to know the guy before she involves her son.
    A side note: She also refuses to post her son's picture with her for concerns that pedifiles are brousing the internet.

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