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Thread: Men: Question about dating and children

  1. #11
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pikachu View Post
    Some of those personal ad sites you can post a profile for free but you have to pay a membership fee to respond to ads. I think that's why you get so many views and so few responses.
    Very true pika! Views/flirts/winks are a dime a dozen, but you can only do so much with the free part of online dating memberships. I speak as one that's too cheap to plunk down the money for them, but I realize I'm limiting myself and accept that...there's probably plenty of guys out there that feel the same way as well.

    The old phrase is true though - You have to kiss a lot of frogs...
    Ana you're right about this too cause I've gone out with guys that were SO not my type in terms of age and appearance. You just gotta be open minded about the entire thing and give it a shot....what's a little chat/email or even a meetup? (providing you're going about it safely) Worst that can happen is that you have to say no to any future ones.

  2. #12
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
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    I have mixed feelings about this. Parent and child(ren) are a package deal so I wouldn't want to invest months in someone and then when I finally meet their kid find out the child is a total hellion or whatever. Sometimes you just can't make it work if you don't click with the kid and it seems unfair to date for months before letting someone meet the child(ren). I understand not wanting to move too fast and wanting to make sure the person you're dating is not a weirdo but don't wait too long. How that person is with you may not be an indication of how they are with children and YOU may be the one wasting your time when you finally let date and child meet and it turns out to be a bust. So be cautious but don't wait too long for the inevitable meeting.

    Also, I think sometimes men/women have trouble dating someone with children because the other parent of the child might still be in the picture in some way and makes trouble, or the man/woman can't be a disciplinarian to the child and that has its own set of issues. I'm a woman but I've seen brothers-in-law go through this with women they've dated with children. If the woman/man doesn't discipline the child and you feel the kid did something wrong, you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    No matter how much you love someone, sometimes you just can't make it work when kids are involved if there are issues that can't be worked out.
    Last edited by ArchieComic Fan; 01-19-2006 at 01:13 PM.

  3. #13
    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    Again thanks to everyone who has responded so far and in future.
    I agree with you Archie...about the waiting part.
    My grandson's only "problem" is he's an only child and is spoiled with too many toys. Other than that, he's a delightful child who needs little "discipline". Really. I told my daughter she truly lucked out when she was given this child and this is said by one who has raised four very different children and knows different personalities.
    But I can understand why guys would be a bit trepidacious (sp?) about meeting a woman with child. I just don't quite understand THAT many men being that fearful. lol

  4. #14
    Lab Eating Man agamergirl's Avatar
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    I'm a woman but men may think this way to. To me, kids are a dealbreaker. Not trying to be mean, just trying to tell you another point of view. And I agree that the reason she may not have gotten any email or the like is because you have to pay to do so. Have her try this: www.loveaccess.com You can receive a few emails and they also have instant messenger for their site. You can get enough info from someone to contact them with their email. Just tell her to be sure not to list email address in the profile. Wait until she gets one from someone at the site.
    You know how alcohol makes people let down their prohibitions Ms Rap Supreme on VH1

  5. #15
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Tvfanz, aren't there dating sites specifically for single parents? Maybe she could try that.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  6. #16
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy View Post
    Tvfanz, aren't there dating sites specifically for single parents? Maybe she could try that.
    That's probably the best idea.

    Really, I can see both sides of it. Just tell her to remember that if a man isn't interested in her because of her child, that its better to know that up front. She needs someone that accepts them as a family and not as a single mom with baggage. Her and her child sound lovely and I'm sure her Prince Charming is just around the corner. Good luck to her.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  7. #17
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    I'm 32, single male. It is true that some males may find that a single mom is not what they're seeking although on the other hand, there are many like me who don't have any issues. I've dated quite a few single moms- no gripes from me. Males mature like molasses running down a spoon....slooooow. Sometimes it takes us a while to wake up and realize what's important.

    Has your daughter reviewed her profile after having it listed? Maybe she should look at other female profiles to get a good idea of what other's are writing. Is she revealing too much or perhaps too little? I've seen some profiles ala The Bachelor that have a ovulation time clock on their profile.

    On the other end, the old adage of "I love to dress up and go out but am perfectly comfortable staying in wearing an old pair of jeans" has jumped the shark about five years ago. I usually skip on by those. It tells me nothing of significance. 99% of the general public like top go out and stay in.

    Just my $.02
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

  8. #18
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by libra1022 View Post
    You just gotta be open minded about the entire thing and give it a shot....what's a little chat/email or even a meetup? (providing you're going about it safely) Worst that can happen is that you have to say no to any future ones.
    I am in complete agreement with this. Sometimes someone who doesn't look like Mr. Right on paper turns out to be exactly the one. I've been happily married for nearly twenty years to a man who was in no way, shape or form my type (too old, too hairy, too taciturn), but it turns out that he's stable, reliable, kind, occasionally funny, and a hard worker. Sometimes it pays to look beneath the surface, be it pretty or not, and see what you would actually be getting.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  9. #19
    what is life? tvfanz's Avatar
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    Thanks for all these responses. Wow.
    Below I've included my daughter's bio that appears on the website. One person suggested she might not have enough information or maybe too much. It's 4 paragraphs long. Enjoy.


    Where to start--I don't have much spare time to get out and meet a lot of people outside my family and few friends. Weekends are when I'm most likely to explore and do things out of the ordinary. Weeknights are a bit trickier, but workable. The bar scene is not for me, but I do enjoy going to sport's bars for occasional fun and special times (usually during World Series, Bowl games, etc.).

    The man I'm looking for has a myriad of wonderful qualities, which would include: being a responsible individual who has a sense of humor, is fun to be with, yet also have a serious side, someone who takes care of himself, takes pride in his work, loves life, and wants to build a serious relationship, even marriage. I do believe there is someone out there who would actually complete me, be my best friend and confidante, and be my soul mate. Most important he must be honest and trustworthy. I'm not interested in any guy who is out for a one night stand or only for a good time. There should chemistry between us obviously to make a great relationship work. I'm ready for the next step, to find that special someone who would love me with his whole heart as I would him.

    Just to let you know from the start, I'm a single parent of one child who is six years old. Of course, he's the cutest, sweetest, most awesome child in the whole world. I value family life and all its aspects because that's where traditions and values are born and respected. I also believe it that life is too short to not enjoy it.

    About me: I'm someone who is creative, hard-working, kind-hearted, and fun. I have a great sense of humor and personality. If you're looking for someone who has that special sparkle, is adventurous, yet also enjoys quiet times, then look no further. Like I said earlier, I believe that special someone is out there and who knows it could be you.

    So, what do you all think?

  10. #20
    JR.
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    Drummer / Model JR.'s Avatar
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    I definitely fit into that group. For me, I don't have kids, don't want kids, and don't want to deal with someone elses kids. Sorry if that sounds harsh or selfish.
    It's because the relationship is different. I want to be able to get up and go wherever, whenever. You can't really do that when children are involved, as they have to be accounted for (finding a sitter, or taking them with you). And, I don't care what anyone says, there is always some sort of drama with the ex, ALWAYS.

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