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Thread: How Are Your Neighbors?

  1. #551
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    It's ok if it's something that happens once a week like many riders, they use their bikes for cruising, not daily run around. This person comes in and out of the alley a few times a night. The baby underneath me wakes up every time and cries..... I feel like smacking the guy in th ehead!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  2. #552
    MRD
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    I am having a terrible problem with a neighbor. When we first moved, he came over and introduced himself . He seemed nice enough, but as the months have gone on, it's obvious that he's got a really, really, really bad alcohol problem. He lets others take advantage of him. He has no car and rarely goes anywhere. His SIL has power of attorney or he'd be homeless. She pays the bills from a trust he receives from his father. (I was shocked to find out he's only 54 as he looks 20 years older than that)

    The man is super intelligent because when he's not drunk, he is actually fascinating. He was an aeronautical engineer that worked for defense contractors. He has had a horrible tragedy in his life which I think is why he drinks. Anyway, in the beginning, I didn't mind a bit of neighborly chit chat, but then it got to where he was coming over everyday and wouldn't leave. Or he'd come over to bum cigerettes.
    I finally told him that I needed to study for school and that I sometimes work from home and his continual knocking on the door and interuptting me were getting bothersome. WEll being nice didn't cut it and about a month ago after he had been over 3 times in one day, the last time to bum a smoke and it did interupt me in the middle of something, I lost my temper and really yelled at him. I felt awful afterwards., but I didn't see him again for about 2 weeks. Now he seems to have forgotten that I yelled at him and he's back to knocking on the door again. Twice on Fri. and twice again today. The dogs go bananas and he talks to them through the front windows and because they go bananas when he does that, they've torn up the blinds.

    I've had it. I can't even go and sit on my front porch because if he sees me, he comes over.
    So I tried being nice, I tried explainging things, I've gotten nasty and yelled and now I just don't answer the door, but it hasn't fazed him.

    I'm really ticked off because once today he actually woke me up (I didn't sleep well last night and tried to take a small nap this afternoon) and I'm tired of being a prisoner in my own house because he lives next door.
    None of the other neighbors have anything to do with him. He's really harmless and he's also probably got a good heart. But I can't take the drinking and the constant interiuptions and not being able to enjoy my own home because he can't or won't respect boundaries.

    He's fried a lot of brain cells, so I have to wonder if he even remembers me yelling at him or asking him to leave me alone.

    I'm really at my wits end.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #553
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;3489064;
    He's fried a lot of brain cells, so I have to wonder if he even remembers me yelling at him or asking him to leave me alone.

    I'm really at my wits end.
    He may have forgotten, or he may just choose to "forget" about it because chatting with you is something he enjoys...? Either way, I truly feel for you. I would just HATE to feel like I could not enjoy my own property because a neighbor would intrude. And coming over multiple times every day is just outrageous!! Can you put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door? I think it sounds silly, but I do wonder if he would respect it...? Have you ever talked to the sister about his problems?

    Sorry I don't have any wonderful, all knowing advice. You have tried being nice AND being mean and neither have worked. It sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place...

  4. #554
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    MRD,
    I do empathize as it sure can be tough with neighbors.
    However, I did watch Dateline last night and they centered on a neighbor dispute that took place in Carmel Valley, CA about a year or 2 ago. The area boasts sprawling homes overlooking panoramic views and having lots of acreage.
    The upshot was that the 1 neighbor shot and killed the couple next door. It was very disturbing as all 3 who were involved - a 72 yo man and his 58 yo neighbors - were very intelligent, had or held good jobs and yet didn't find an amicable way to resolve their conflict - a shared driveway that was actually way larger/wider than most.
    Not saying this has anything to do with your situation, but it sure made me think very carefully about wanting to have any kind of conflict with any of my neighbors.
    To Thine Own Self Be True

  5. #555
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    I live in an apartment complex and I live on the second floor so I have someone underneath me, across the hall from me, beside me and then on the other side.

    The people underneath us, just moved in so I'm not really sure how they are, I know that they have a little dog so I'm hoping that they are cool with our dog barking for five to ten minutes when we live, the person across the hall from us is a real quiet guy, he's barely ever here and when he is, he doesn't really stop and talk, the people beside us we've never met, but then infront of them is another couple and they seem pretty cool, we don't talk to them much but seems like a nice couple. The people above us is another story. They are really loud at times, we have had 4 noise complaints. We know that they have kids but you don't need to be in your kitchen for
    an hour and a half slamming cabinets and we can hear their tv over ours.

    I don't mind living here really, its just on the weekends its loud from the parties and it seems there is always drama going on here and the cops are always here for some reason or another. We have 6 months left on our lease so we are trying to decide whether or not to stay here another year or move.

  6. #556
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    I feel for everyone who has a snarky neighbor. I usually end up in my back yard when I want to be alone. The neighbor on that side is very elderly and doesn't get outside much.

  7. #557
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    I go into my room and put my headphones on. There are so many apartment units on this street it is constant noise. During the day while I am trying to work my downstairs neighbor always has an hour of really loud music going while she takes a shower. I've gotten used to it being at the same time everyday so I just take a break from my work and go into my room. The slamming of the doors is what kills me. It can be absolutely silent and then wham! a screen door slams. It's the same neighbor every time and if you try to approach them about it they slam their door in your face. They are so rude it isn't even worth talking to them about it!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  8. #558
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    I've thought about the do not disturb sign, but I have to sometimes sign for packages as occasionally, like tomorrow, we know UPS is delivering something for my husband's job.

    I feel so bad even complaining about him, his life has been a tragedy and I'm sure that's why he drinks. Still, others have weathered tragedies and not handled it this way. His kids sent him from CA to SC because they can't deal with him anymore and the SIL only comes over to drop off groceries. She won't even go in the house. He has no phone, gets one tv channel and reads the Oxford English Dictionary as that is the only reading material he has. He let someone use his computer and they stole it, but he can't afford internet anyway. He's obviously well educated and I know he lacks companionship, but he also doesn't bathe regularly, so I won't let him in the house when he has come over. The rest of our neighbors are wonderful people and I've enjoyed chatting with them, but they also run when they see him come outside as they all know you are going to get dragged into a long winded conversation and you never know if he's drunk and lucid or just plain drunk on his butt. (He pays a guy from the next street over to go to the liquor store for him).

    My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable and he feels sorry for the guy. I feel sorry for him too, but hubby isn't here all the time and doesn't realize what an interruption he is. One of my other neighbors did tell him last week that it was inappropriate for him to be bothering a "married woman" when her husband wasn't home and it went in one ear and out the other. Believe me when I say he is not trying to put moves on me. I think he truly does want intelligent conversation. But I'm at the point where I'm not willing to be the other conversationalist. I am now doing some work from home and he is an interuption and I can't go out and smoke on my nice front porch because of him. I am reduced to sitting on the steps of my non-existant back porch to smoke. Yeah, that's another story too, I need to quit smoking and this is a good incentive. But first, I need to get the guy to stay away.
    Funny but we rarely saw him much over the winter when it was cold, but now that it's summer, he's out a lot more. So really most of the interuptions have happened just over the last 2 months since the weather got nice.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #559
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;3491786;
    He has no phone, gets one tv channel and reads the Oxford English Dictionary as that is the only reading material he has. He let someone use his computer and they stole it, but he can't afford internet anyway. He's obviously well educated and I know he lacks companionship, but he also doesn't bathe regularly, so I won't let him in the house when he has come over.
    Maybe you could keep your eyes peeled for garage sales looking to get rid of lots of books. I'm not much of a garage saler, but you could probably find some very cheap (especially if you offer to buy a bunch of them). Then you could just leave them at his door - I would be afraid that giving them to him in person might prompt a "thank you visit". Maybe if he has some reading to occupy himself he would be less likely to bother you!

  10. #560
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Re: How Are Your Neighbors?

    Good idea Closet. We had one of these people when we were growing up. This woman always arrived at dinnertime since her kid had some sort of lessons near by. She plunked herself down and interrupted our family dinner, several nights a week. I remember my mom closing curtains, hiding the car etc.etc. I don't know how she got her to go away, but I was a small kid and I still remember my mom not liking it. It's hard since he lives next door.

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