Need Gift Help!

[Callie]

I hope I'm not the only FORTer who's ever scared of giving the wrong gift. I hope this thread might be useful to other people too. Sometimes I just never have a good idea for a gift to give, especially with certain occasions! Hopefully others will use this thread too, for advice on gift giving!

I hope some fellow Jewish FORTers (or non-jewish!) can help me with this one:

I just got an invite to my cousin's Bat Mitzuah, which unfortuneately I won't be able to make. I am a cradle Catholic, and I never have even attended any Jewish events... so I don't have an idea of what's an appropriate gift to give. Does anybody have any ideas to help me out? She's the cutest little girl and I love her to death... so I'm thinking of a gift between $30-$50... is that too low? too high?

HELP!

[AIWANNABE]

I would say $50. That is what I used to give when I went to Bat/Bar Mitzuahs. However because you are not actually attending the event you may want to lower the amount.

[AntmSTarTa]

I live in the most Jewish town and I'm Christian, and I've been to PLENTY of Bar/Bat/B'nai Mitzvahs. This is the rule of thumb.

a) In Judaism, the #18 is considered Lucky or something, so when giving gifts as a check/money, its good to keep it in multiples of 18.
b) Depending on how friendly/close you are to that person, change the amount. People normally don't give 18 because thats usually the lowest possible, so consider 36 or 54 dollars.
c) I dont know about you, but my town is mostly rich, literally, (not bragging or anything, but we pay the 8th highest income tax in the country and 14th highest income) so giving 36 makes you look like a cheap-o here, but I dont know where you live so I cant say how much. Or where the Bar/Bat Mitzvah-an lives, so make that decision on your own.
d) Since you are family, I suggest giving $54 only to be nice, because it is family and family seems to give more than just friends.
e) Remember that if you treat them to a higher-amount gift, they'll most likely return with a gift for you likewise one day. So just be generous and kind-hearted and just do what's best for you.
f) Be sure to have a card specifically made for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs because those are always nice!

Hope this was helpful and good luck with that and have fun if you're gonna attend!

[Duxxy]

Callie I was under the impression that you don't give gifts for a bar/batmitzvah, that you give money in a card/envelope.
I hear that some mitzvahs are equal to a wedding! The same care, planning and money goes into both! I was very surprised to hear that, being catholic the 'equavalent' to a mitzvah is confirmation and you're lucky if you get cake for that LOL

[OnMyLunchBreak]

Yeah, I'm dating a Jewish guy and was well versed in Bar/Bat Mitzvah lore when his cousin has his last year.

I, too, would stick with money. Unless you know her really well and know the "perfect" gift (something they will cherish for their entire life) money is the way to go. Most of these kids save the thousands they receive and buy a car later on or something else that is really important to them.

My boyfriend bought his first really nice video camera with his Bar Mitzvah money! Now he is in school to be a filmmaker. It is like an investment in their future endavors.

[Callie]

Wow cool! Thanks guys so much!

I had absolutely no idea!! Being Catholic... our confirmation was nothing big. I actually got in a fight with my mom the day of my confirmation

Yes... my cousin and I aren't all the close, but after my father died, her father (my uncle) stepped in and became like a dad for me. I really wanna be a cool older cousin and money isn't a problem for me. I'll probably give $72 (18 times 4 )

Thanks guys for all the help!

[ElizabethG]

I'm bumping this thread because I need help! What do you get as a Christmas gift (or even birthday) for someone you've been dating a couple of months? We're in that really, really like each other (dripping and oozing sweetness) phase...not close enough for "forever after" yet, but closer than just casual dating. I have been racking my brain.....his former wife died in January 05 (she was a suicide...yikes!) he has 3 daughters (one married and on her own, two live with him - 15 and 16 years old). He doesn't do anything with computers or "gadgets", he most enjoys hunting and he is a certified diver but doesn't have the time or money right now to take any hunting or diving trips.
I found a framed art print of wild turkeys feasting on acorns in the woods, he likes to go turkey hunting so I thought maybe that would be good.
Maybe clothing?

What have ya'll gotten your significant others that they really, really enjoyed? What have you received that meant a lot to you from your sweetheart? Any ideas? Thanks!!!

[combatcutie]

Elizabeth, I would get him something to do with his hobby. The framed art sounds really nice. If not, maybe you can find out what type of cologne he wears....that's always a nice gift

[Jamie5632]

Elizabeth,

My husband goes elk hunting a lot. This past weekend we went to a grand opening of a Bass Pro Shop and he was DROOLING over the framed elk art. I had no clue he would like something like that, but I literally had to tear him away, so that sounds like a really good idea. Plus you get the added bonus of knowing what is important to him and honoring it without being too schmoopy about it.

Good luck!

[Rattus]

I think the turkey print is a very nice idea, also clothing that would be required by his hobby (ear flap hat, vest, etc.) I don't know when turkey hunting season takes place, but if he does go hunting in the middle of winter, and assuming you live in an area that gets a cold winter, battery operated socks would be quite the treat I think.