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Thread: Advice on child fleeing the nest

  1. #71
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CallieCutie
    Also.. as suggested, LOFTS!!!! They are a life saver! And they save alot of room! Plus they're fun! In my freshman dorm, our loft was an autograph board! Anytime anybody came to our room, they'd sign our loft with a permanant marker. It was fun looking at it at the end of the year... remembering good times in the room.
    We are definitely going to have her loft. We've seen three other univ. dorms, and these are, without a doubt, the smallest dorms we've ever seen.

    Go to Bed Bath and Beyond this summer frequently. They have really good deals on alot of dorm things. And alot of them are cute girly things They have alot of space saving items too.. like a canvas pouch you put under your mattress, to hold your books and remote controls, etc in; and an over the door mirror, and bathroom caddys, and other cool dorm things (like lamps, bedding, decorating things). They're pretty cheap too! And a great thing about them, is they ship! They'll ship to your daughters dorm room! I can't remember how much, but I do remember it was cheap.
    Thanks for the suggestions, and I had no idea they'd ship directly to her room. That's a definite plus.

    We are going to do the free mobile-to-mobile phones with her for sure.
    Also... tell your daughter to join Sigma Kappa sorority. They're the best (gotta do a little promotion here )
    I'll pass this info on to her.
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  2. #72
    Soon summer soon BlondieGirl's Avatar
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    Oh, I forgot, I always brought a little (but not too small) tv with me.
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  3. #73
    FORT Fogey JamiLee's Avatar
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    Hi Rose,
    Congratulations on your daughter's going to college. I'm still missing my daughter something awful. I live in MA and she went to N.Y. She's about a 4 to 5 hour drive. I've been out there at least 4 times to visit her and she's been home a few times. It's been very difficult but, I'm proud of her.

    I think you got great advice and I wish I'd had this place when my daughter went. There was soooo much to do and to buy. I was lucky in that my daughter's best friend from second grade is one of her roomies so, her mom and dad and I have a friendship and were able to discuss a lot of their needs.
    And then to go about who would buy what. They bought the t.v/dvd we got the fridge etc...

    The sheets were a PITA!!!! The college sold them so we got them there.

    I'm not sure if someone mentioned it already but we got the "bed lifts" and the under the storage containers.
    Something I'm pretty sure I didn't see mentioned was pepper spray. We were extremely nervous about our "babies" being in N.Y......so they have that on their key rings. There was only a certain amount of things they could hang on the wall (fire hazzards)
    when we moved the kids in we were SHOCKED at how small this room was for 3 girls.
    I thought they should have locks on their closets for their expensive things but, we left that up to them and they didn't want them.
    We also wanted locks for their laptops but, we left it up to them and again, they went without them. No theft so far.
    My daughter has OCD with toilet seats so I bought those throwaway covers.

    Finally, the rooms were really stuffy and they couldn't open the windows to let some air in so, I bought them an air purifier.

    I'm driving to N.Y Friday to help my daughter pack up for the summer and I'll ask her if there is anything she can think of. (I can't wait for her to be home again)!!
    Seems like it's pretty well covered here.
    My boss just pulled in and I'm suppose to be working (eek)
    Good luck Rose!!
    : )
    Jami
    The Pats will be back next year. Watch out.....

  4. #74
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    JamiLee brings up a good point -- don't expect to hang too many things on college dorm walls. When I was in college we were prohibited from driving nails into the walls. We managed to hang some posters and a not-too-heavy mirror with a gum-like substance, but that was about it. And you might as well send her off with a jar of spackle, since she's going to need it to repair nicks and dents by year-end anyway.

    Pepper spray is a good idea, but make sure she knows how to use it AND how to treat it if she gets sprayed; my sister's roommate got some, so they went outside to test it. They accidentally sprayed it ... into the wind. Which blew it right back in their faces.
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  5. #75
    I have a new love now JunkieGirl's Avatar
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    As a safety freak, I would suggest a carbon monoxide detector. This of course depending on how the dorms are heated. Batteries for the smoke detector, hopefully she has one in her room. Flashlights in case of power failure.

    On the other side, maybe some gift certificates for a local grocery store, the movie theatre, a magazine subscription to her fave mag and of course those talking picture frames of mom and dad that she has to keep by her bedside.

  6. #76
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JunkieGirl
    On the other side, maybe some gift certificates for a local grocery store, the movie theatre, a magazine subscription to her fave mag
    Those are great ones Junkie! I'd have killed for a magazine subscription to pass some of the downtime I had....cause there's only so much studying and socializing that can be done! (instead, my friends and I went out and got coloring books and crayons as well as paint by numbers for kids....yeah, it was silly, but it was a fun way for us to goof around when we stayed in)

    The gift certificates were a happy point every week for me, my Granny used to send them in the mail once a week to different restaurants so that I could have a nice meal out. Granted, they were never for much money...maybe $5-10 at a time, but it was great to get out for a meal and I always looked forward to checking the mail cause you never knew what was going to turn up there from her. In the end, I found a Chinese buffet that I loved and it was all of $3.95 for lunch (including a drink), so she'd just send a $5 bill for me to go and enjoy that cause it was cheap enough for everybody to pile in the car and head to together.

  7. #77
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    I thought of another must-have -- a CAMERA. Not a web-cam, something she can take pictures on and keep them. I have an album-full of pictures from my first year of college, of my suite-mates doing everything from dressing up for a formal to putting scotch-tape on their noses and stacking the furniture.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  8. #78
    FORT Fanatic GlitterxGold's Avatar
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    Most people have already listed the things I'd suggest. But here are a few others:

    1) A really small sewing kit with a variety of thread colors - if she doesn't already know how, teach her how to fix buttons that come off

    2) For her desk - a stapler, so many papers have to be STAPLED in college or they won't accept them and there is rarely a stapler in the classroom. A stapler remover, WHITE OUT (so important!), paper clips, scotch tape, post its, basic office stuff.

    3) If she doesn't have one yet - an IPOD or MP3 Player. She will thank you so much. I'm not suggesting just because its cool, but also because she can upload all her CDs onto it and not have to store a bunch of CDs and cases with her, freeing up space in her room. It also helps because college in NOISY and she can drown out the noise when she needs to study/concentrate/fall asleep.

    4) A few business-ready outfits for interviews/dinners/professional events. A pair of black slacks, a black knee length skirt and some button up blouses and a at least one really good blazer. Preferably some wash and wear no-ironing needed type fabric. (It may be hard or impossible to go to a dry cleaners, esp for short notice type events). Oh and the infamous "all purpose little black dress".

    5) A good stock of medicine for every ailment she may encounter: headaches, PMS, cold, allergy, antiacid, Pepto, etc. And bandaids.

    Hmmm I am sure there is more but that's all for now! How exciting it must be for both of you! I am a college senior myself. You sound like a very thoughtful parent. Hope it all goes well!

  9. #79
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Let me just say once again, all of you have given us many wonderful ideas! JamiLee, Lucy, Glitter, Junkie, Libs, Blondie...you have thought of everything! We're all getting very excited. Lil Rose brought her cap and gown home the other day, so I guess this really is going to happen.
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  10. #80
    FORT Fogey JamiLee's Avatar
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    Lil Rose brought her cap and gown home the other day, so I guess this really is going to happen.

    Hi again Rose.......
    My Mother and I drove to N.Y Friday morning to pack up my daughter. (insanity) it was a lot easier moving her in than out! We left at 8a.m and didn't get home until after 8 p.m! (long drive mostly) Anyway, I thought of more things as I was packing all her stuff. I'd forgotten the school provided a fridge and a microwave. Those were a couple of things that me and her friend's parents discussed. We ended up splitting all their other needs. I think I am repeating myself with that one. Anyway, I don't think I saw it mentioned here but, there are those holders that are made of mesh that collapse (mostly for clothes) but, they really came in handy for so many things. I think my daughter had about 5 of them. They were great.
    Reading the thread and seeing you're getting her a credit card made me shudder.......then I thought well all kids are different. I let my daughter use my credit card when she was home on a visit and she just had to have this pair of jeans from Abercrombie & Fitch.......no way would I give my daughter one!! She has a check card from Bank of America and my father and I add $ as needed. It's perfect and we had some rules with her. No change of address. I send her mail to her. She gets so many credit card offers now and I have the opportunity to shred them!! She'd go for one and end up in big trouble. The bank statements come here and I keep them in a file and am able to monitor her $. She's not mature enough yet for that. Your daughter may very well be a different story so that's obviously an individual choice.
    Okay here are a few other things that I got her.
    peel n stick things for the walls (home depot) Her school fines $100 per every whole in the wall.......
    sugarless gum and a huge supply of water from Coscos. She goes for the sugar gum but, loves sugarless if it's there so, got a huge supply of that.
    Water is so expensive in N.Y so got it here at Coscos.
    vitamins with iron (she'd never buy them herself) A Huge bottle of Purell!! (we have a little OCD goin on here)
    I snuck some reminders/comfortors (sp) from home - family photo album and a stuffed animal she always slept with. She loved seeing that. Stuff she might not think to pack. Those really soft pillows that come in all the different shapes she loves. (I do too)
    Also I recalled when we were moving her in me and her roomate/friend's mom and I could not believe there were no chairs in the room!! When I went for my first visit I brought her her computer chair.
    She's had a cell phone since she was 14 and has been good with it. Her and I can talk for free and I just keep a good check on the minutes. She went over once and I had her shut down for a month. She never did that again!
    Also, the phone in their room could only be used for calls on campus. No outside calls. You're all set with that I saw you're getting her a cell but, was a surprise to us to find they couldn't use their room phone.....
    Finally!! A big box of tissues for you!! If you're anything like me with your daughter you're going to need them!! It was really hard her leaving. I have to say though it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I got out there at least 4 times (I think 5) and she did come home from time to time. The breaks are long too. And think about the positives of her leaving! No more fighting for the bathroom (if you have one like me) I don't know how I ever got in there before! We have more than one computer and she has a laptop but, we only have this one on a cable and I don't know how I ever got on it when she was home before (that stupid AOL messenger thing) her loud music that makes the whole house shake was something I didn't miss....and then just "letting go" and learning to not worry so much. The last year she was home I didn't get much sleep...........
    Well, that's about all else I can think of. Good luck!! And remember she'll be back before you know it
    -by the time this summer ends I'll probably be looking forward for her to go back- It's nice to have the freedom to do whatever I want to do without having to worry about checking with her all the time. (makes me sad at times but, this whole thing does get better with time I think not just for me but, most parents........
    Here you go in the meantime
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    The Pats will be back next year. Watch out.....

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