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Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #911
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaybo
    Hey Guys,
    I mean whenever he talks about her I feel like I'm shrinking to two inches tall. Why do I feel threatened by her? Is it because shes single? Is it because I have security issuses? Or is it because its that time of the month and I'm hormonal.

    Thanks Guys Shaybo
    Unfortunately I think you feel threatened because she is a threat, at least as far as his feelings are concerned. Sadly there is no hard and fast way to deal with a partner developing a crush on someone else. During my long relationship with Mr. Rattus, there have been occasions where he's gotten a little goofy about someone else and I've dealt with it by continuing to be my usual pleasant self but stepping up the ... physical aspect of things a tad. He's dealt with my crushes by paying a bit more attention to me. Nice, flower-buying attention, not "we need to go to Home Despot on Saturday" attention. And when I say the attention either way is upped just a bit, I mean just a bit. Otherwise it comes across too needy.

    Good luck with this. I hope he discovers soon that she picks her nose, clips her toenails in public and steals raisins from the grocery store.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  2. #912
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    Eek Shaybo!

    Could it that your insecurities are brought on by seeing your husband, the one you know best, send some uncomfortable or out of character signals when he is around this woman? And perhaps to some extent, you are feeling neglected because of the attention he is paying to her.

    Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? If not, I think you should.

    I think with any relationship it is important to have good communication and trust. Talk to your husband so that he understands how you are feeling. I am sure he may not even realize that he is making you insecure. He probably feels very comfortable talking to you about her and that's a good thing, but he may not realize that overkill on the message sends the wrong signal. Does that make sense?

    Now, having said all that...are you concerned that he may cheat? You really didn't say in your post. Because if that's your concern, that's a whole other issue.
    A Bachelor fan til it dies a slow death and oddly enough, A Rock of Love fan...finest hair extensions from Europe and all. ;-)

  3. #913
    Kris&Jon 4 Life Nikki_Brandon's Avatar
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    I'm really enjoying reading this thread and many of the relationship issues in life that people are going through right now....I don't deem myself worthy of giving anyone advice as I'm only 15 and have not had much life experience or more than anyone of you guys here...Maybe I've fallen in love before, maybe I haven't but all these life stories here have really opened up the world for me and given me a useful outlook at relationships and love. I sincerely thank everyone that have either shared their life stories or given their advice on the various relationship issues because I'm sure it will certainly help in time to come.
    Well, I was thinking when he said, "king of the jungle," I was, like, "Well, during the first challenge you would still be lost in the jungle if Jim and I hadn't, like, led you out. - Brooke Struck on Judd

    Love is like the wind...You can't see it, but you can feel it

  4. #914
    FORT Fan Shaybo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Igotalife
    Eek Shaybo!

    Could it that your insecurities are brought on by seeing your husband, the one you know best, send some uncomfortable or out of character signals when he is around this woman? And perhaps to some extent, you are feeling neglected because of the attention he is paying to her.

    Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? If not, I think you should.

    I think with any relationship it is important to have good communication and trust. Talk to your husband so that he understands how you are feeling. I am sure he may not even realize that he is making you insecure. He probably feels very comfortable talking to you about her and that's a good thing, but he may not realize that overkill on the message sends the wrong signal. Does that make sense?

    Now, having said all that...are you concerned that he may cheat? You really didn't say in your post. Because if that's your concern, that's a whole other issue.
    I don't have any concerns that he'll cheat on me. Yeah what you said makes sense. OMG I realy need a hug right now because I'm crying all over the keyboard.
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved- George Sand

  5. #915
    FORT Fan Shaybo's Avatar
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    Rattus,
    Thank you very much. I needed that laugh right now

    Shaybo
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved- George Sand

  6. #916
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaybo
    I don't have any concerns that he'll cheat on me. Yeah what you said makes sense. OMG I realy need a hug right now because I'm crying all over the keyboard.



    That's good. Trust your instincts. Go run a bubble bath, get two glasses of wine and some candles and invite your hubby to snuggle in with you so you can talk.

    Good luck!
    A Bachelor fan til it dies a slow death and oddly enough, A Rock of Love fan...finest hair extensions from Europe and all. ;-)

  7. #917
    FORT Fogey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Igotalife
    Eek Shaybo!

    Could it that your insecurities are brought on by seeing your husband, the one you know best, send some uncomfortable or out of character signals when he is around this woman? And perhaps to some extent, you are feeling neglected because of the attention he is paying to her.

    Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? If not, I think you should.

    I think with any relationship it is important to have good communication and trust. Talk to your husband so that he understands how you are feeling. I am sure he may not even realize that he is making you insecure. He probably feels very comfortable talking to you about her and that's a good thing, but he may not realize that overkill on the message sends the wrong signal. Does that make sense?

    Now, having said all that...are you concerned that he may cheat? You really didn't say in your post. Because if that's your concern, that's a whole other issue.
    Well, Igotagoodheadonmyshoulders, Igottatellyou: that's one of the most sensible, well-stated things I've read in here in a while, and I just had to let you know that I appreciate your sound advice.

  8. #918
    FORT Fan Shaybo's Avatar
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    Hey Guys,
    Hubby and I talked last night in fact he took me out to dinner. He told me he was sorry and that he didn't mean to make me feel threatened.
    He also told me that the reason why he did the dishes was out of boardom.
    We were watching a movie that hubby had seen before and he was board out of his mind.

    Thanks guys
    Shaybo

    Now I have to go to Share your troubles thread and admit that the ditz did it again
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved- George Sand

  9. #919
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    Was wondering if anyone knew of any gay dating services? I use the computer at the library, since my dad has mine. And sometimes the popups are not library friendly
    Last edited by jman79; 11-12-2005 at 12:05 PM.

  10. #920
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jman79
    Was wondering if anyone knew of any gay dating services? I use my computer at the library, since my dad has mine. And sometimes the popups are not library friendly
    What about gayfriendfinder.com or gay.com ?

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