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Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #51
    Premium Member FinallyHere's Avatar
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    UE - Go for it. If he keeps looking back at you when you're looking at him he has to be at least interested in you. Next time smile and see if he smiles back. If he does go and talk to him. He'll probably be happy that you did - and relieved
    Some people are like slinkies, they're useless until you push them down the stairs.

  2. #52
    Caged Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion, Archery Champion Maveno's Avatar
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    If you change your screenname to "swimfan", I'll start to really worry for this guy!
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  3. #53
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    UE.. make your mom sit across the room he might approach you.
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  4. #54
    FORT Regular Puck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoneGrrrl
    Thanks to everyone who has responded. I did send the e-mail last week. (Been away from a working computer for several days otherwise would have updated sooner.) But, alas, no reply yet. I'm giving it to close of business today and then writing it off as a learning experience.
    I think you should forget about him and give me a chance.

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  5. #55
    FORT Fogey CharlieBug's Avatar
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    Phonegrrl, I'm with Maveno - keep in mind he could be traveling, on vacation, having email or personal problems, whatever. My now-husband, Eddie, and I first talked via email (for three weeks before I even talked to him on the phone). My uncle set us up, but at the time I was not interested in dating anyone and refused to give up my phone number, only my email address. But then........ Eddie never emailed. So I joked around with my uncle that his Cupid skills didn't pay off. Eddie finally did email me later, but he didn't initially cause his stepdad had heart surgery, and he was spending a lot of time at the hospital. So he just was away from the computer and distracted by more important things and hadn't gotten around to emailing yet. In other words, you just don't know what's going on so don't give up yet. And if you never hear from him again - you had nothing to lose. At least you didn't call and have to deal with awkward silences or something. If it's meant to be, it will be.

    UE, I agree with the others who said to SMILE next time you make eye contact. And I like Lucy's suggestion about writing a note in the language you're learing - how unique is that? What a great story to tell later!

    Everyone, keep us posted with your progress. Now that I'm married, I like to live vicariously through others.

  6. #56
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by unexplained
    Answered my query. I like this guy from class and I think it's mutual because he looks back at me too. So half the time during class, we keep locking eyes. The problem is my mom is in that class too. My mom and me are taking up a new language so that's the reason I think he's hesitant to speak to me.

    I figure that I should make the first move but felt really awkward or too forward. I think I might just proceed with it. wish me luck!
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  7. #57
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone. Class is this weekend. Let's see how it goes. I'm thinking of passing a note too but I don't think I'll write in the new language like Lucy said.(Thanks for the suggestion though ) It'd be too hard.

    I try not to desert my mother when I'm in class because I'm clueless and she knows so much.

    Thanks everyone.
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

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  8. #58
    FORT Fogey Jahim's Avatar
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    *ressurects the Thread*

    Alright this is going to be really cheesy for most of you I think, but I have relationship issues.. now this is going to be the "short verison, but to explain it, probably will be all but short, but believe me, I am leaving out details... lol.. anyway... Let's start out with the fact that I do not Drive, and work is about 3 to 4 miles out from my house.. Also, I am living in an area I am not from, I have little to no real friends to hang out with here, so it gets lonely lets say.... its important for after... Alright, recently, my "Good friend" (I put quotes on it and I hope that suffices the relationship for you, with out the gorey details) Alright, anyway, I've stopped talking to my good friend Joey for a while.. Apparently we had a conflict of interests, I felt things for him that he did not for me and that really screwed things up with us.. I called him alot before and he flipped out.. it was less then happy times.. from there I tried everything to apologize and try to fix it, I probably made it worse at that point.. but thats besides the point.. lol.. Anyway, we've stopped talking for about 3 weeks now.. and I've felt like it was almost a break-up, I am sure its much different for him, but I can't see into his mind, but for me, it was pretty damn painful for me in that, wish I just stabbed my heart out, people suck in general, love sucks, kind of way.. So yea.. Lately, things have been better.. I've stopped thinking about it all the time, but I still miss him, I am sure some of you know how that is.. Anyway, today.. I was stuck for a ride and after just pulling two-doubles the last two days and then working a long shift, needless to say, I was tired.. My legs and feet were hurting.. and thats rare because I do alot of walking and things with my legs and feet to keep that from happening... so, rare occurance here.. Normally if I wasn't feeling like crap and I couldn't find a ride, I'd just walk.. but I was.. and it was cold and I just did not want to walk... so.. immediately I thought, well, lets Call Joey, what the hell...

    eh.... well.. that became one of the most awkward moments for me.. he agreed, and I Was extremely happy about getting a ride home, but the following ten minutes or so were LONG... He was on the phone, so I couldn't really talk to him about anything, though thats probably best given my past at "fixing" thigns... but he was on the phone talking with a friend majority of the way home, just until the last few minutes. and all I could say was sorry for being a jerk in the past (long story) and I must have thanked him like 50 times... he said I wasn't a jerk, but that just kind of confused me.. because he was really annoyed with me, which is why I am surprised he was willing to help me at all...

    Anyway, I left with that.. not much else going on.. but I don't know what to think... I really opened a can of worms with that one.. after I was not feeling well physically for about an hour after just because I had about a million thoughts going through my mind... But now I am calm, but I really realize I want to talk and see him again and at least have a chance to kind of explain myself.. What do you all suggest? sHould I just leave it be? should I go for it? and if I go for it, what would you suggest for going about that? This whole thing may seem very cheesy and "teenager-ish" but for me, its very strange... If this is "love" or whatever, its the first time I've ever felt like it, I've never had such enfatuations for anyone really in my past...
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  9. #59
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Jahim,

    I think it was extremely positive that your friend immediately agreed to come give you a ride home. If you had completely burned all bridges, he would have said no. Secondly, he went to far as to reassure you that you aren't a jerk... so that speaks to him still caring about your feelings.

    But..what I would do right now is wait a couple of days before you make any more steps. It sounds like there were a lot of hurtful comments that were said between the two of you and that always takes a little bit of time to get over. I think you probably let your feelings known in the car ride home, so I'd give him time to come to terms with his and let him make the next move.

    My two cents. Big hugs! Waiting sucks!
    Never let the things you want make you forget about the things you have.

  10. #60
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
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    Jahim

    Joey obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't have come to pick you up. That's good, because it means that all you've been through together, as friends, is still there. But, he obviously feels uncomfortable, too, or else he wouldn't have spent the whole car ride back on the phone with someone else. Why is he uncomfortable? It sounds like maybe you already know the reasons.

    That said, my words of advice (from someone who has been there): you can't make someone love you, you can't make someone feel for you the way you feel about them, no matter how much you may want things to be different.

    Joey might feel you betrayed your friendship, and that's going to take some time, and some distance, for him to get through. True friendship will prevail, but you've got to be willing to take him back on his terms - after all, you are the one who changed the paramaters, right? Can you still be "just friends" with him, or will there be a lot of pressure on him to return your feelings? because that's just going to push him back away.

    Like you said - this is an infatuation, perhaps. What's more important to you - his friendship or your infatuation? You need to resolve this before you can try to get back in touch with him. If your expectations are for something more, and he's indicated that's not for him, then you need to figure out how to deal with that before you contact him again - guys hate desparation or being put on the spot. It smothers them.

    You need to back off a bit, figure out if you can handle the friendship thing, and if not, then you need to leave him be. Otherwise you'll be continuing to pine for something that you cannot make happen. And you'll be unhappy and frustrated. And that's no good.

    What is wrong with just being friends, anyway? I've learned that its the infatuations/lovers that may come and go, but a true friend? Those are pretty rare.

    Just my two cents.
    Last edited by ADKLove; 10-04-2004 at 12:42 AM.
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