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Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #581
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    While single men in their late 20's are a dime a dozen, single men at my age (36) are not - at least ones without kids and lots of baggage.
    I'm 36 and I usually look at men 31 and up (and have dated even younger), but no older than 40.
    Critical we're hunting in the exact same groups too! I'm a year younger but we're in the same search group.

  2. #582
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Older lady here - dates younger men (almost) exclusively. Always have. I'm not looking to get married, but I sure am enjoying the whole Demi/Ashton fad!

  3. #583
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Reading all of that just proves to me that I still have some growing up to do. Just when I thought I had it more or less figured out, too. Anyway, some good ideas and advice there to digest. I have a week to think about it, since my next date is next Thursday...

    Anyway, I did try online dating for a while. I had an account at eharmony, but I only ever met one girl from there and nothing ever came of it, so I let the account expire when my one year subscription was up. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but of course, nothing ever really works like it's supposed to (like that line in Spaceballs: "Even in the future nothing works!").

    I usually try to be the funny guy, the one who can laugh everything off and make it appear like it doesn't bother him. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not. Lately I've just been kinda down, and I guess that's showing now. It'll pass though, like it always does, stay gone a while, and then return to plague me once more.

    I've always said that older women were out because I haven't had good experiences with them. I actually sort of dated a girl who was older than me, and who had a kid. She lied about a lot of things (including her kid) so I got out while I could. Also, because my sister is younger than I am, all her friends were really the only girls I ever associated with in high school. I didn't talk to the girls in my class, so I've never really even been interested in girls my own age. Since I'm not Mr. Experience, of course I prefer women with no "baggage" (never been married with no kids), but I'm not saying I would never go for an older woman (or a woman with kids), though, if she was interesting enough and wasn't looking for SUPERDAD for her kids (that annoys me). I'm definately a project that needs reconstruction, and I'll freely admit that.

    Now lately, I have been going out and being sociable and stuff, something I should have done years ago. I'm trying to make up for lost time, and maybe that's part of the problem. I've been out of the game so long that I forgot the rules and have to relearn them. I'll get it right one of these days.

    Fear of rejection is my biggest obstacle right now. If I could get to a point where I don't care if she says no, I could ask girls out with no fear. I'm not there yet.

    But yeah, thanks for the good advice and stuff. I have a lot to think about for the next week...

    Any older women with no kids out there?
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  4. #584
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yellow Apple
    Any older women with no kids out there?

    YellowApple, meet Broadway. Broadway, meet YellowApple.
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  5. #585
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    YellowApple, meet Broadway. Broadway, meet YellowApple.
    Ah, I see Texi is still around. Hi and stuff.

    Broadway too.
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  6. #586
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    Hang in there Y.A. It'll happen when you least expect it
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  7. #587
    Fort Freak! funnygirl422's Avatar
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    Hey YA old buddy old pal!

    I think the answer is to "relax". I know it's not easy to do since most of your "issues" are mental; however, if you could just take a deep breath and relax you should be okay. I think trying to convince yourself rejection is "no big deal" only makes it worse.

    What works for me is the firm belief that everything happens for a reason. Granted, this is my belief and it may not work for you. You may borrow it and if it works for you, I will gladly wrap it up with a big bow and give it to you.

    Be patient my young friend. It WILL happen and when it does LOOK OUT! In the meantime, you got a bunch of supporters here at the FORT who know how incredible you are and will help you up and dust you off when needed.

  8. #588
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Hey YA, How you doin' ? I am older (way older) and my kids are now out of the house, I've been divorced for over 20 years and have not dated yet....you game? Ha, I'm just kidding!!! Just take life the way you want to take it. You'll know when you're comfortable. You'll know when you're smitten. And don't count out the mothers out there. Some of us are real cool!

  9. #589
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by famita
    Hey YA, How you doin' ? I am older (way older) and my kids are now out of the house, I've been divorced for over 20 years and have not dated yet....you game? Ha, I'm just kidding!!! Just take life the way you want to take it. You'll know when you're comfortable. You'll know when you're smitten. And don't count out the mothers out there. Some of us are real cool!
    Well, are you looking for another kid to raise?

    I'm not counting out the mothers. Just the ones who are looking for SUPERDAD. As long as they don't expect me to raise their kids and as long as the kid will respect who I am, I'm game...

    Oh yeah fg, that tigerbunny is feckin' awesome! I want one...
    R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten.

    Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005)

    Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

  10. #590
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YA
    I'm definately a project that needs reconstruction, and I'll freely admit that.
    Aren't we all, YA, aren't we all? And we're all afraid of rejection in some way. so the key is to work with it in your own style. Get to know the girl to a large degree before you casually say "would you like to do X together sometime?"
    Last edited by Jewelsy; 05-19-2005 at 04:52 PM.

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