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Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #421
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    Ummm, Skittles Will they make me feel better?

  2. #422
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott
    Ummm, Skittles Will they make me feel better?
    Heh heh, will they ever!



    Okay, serious question to the guys. What is the deal? Why do (and I know I'm generalizing here) you fellas think all we women want is to glom onto you and get married? What are you so afraid of? Some of us are just hungry and could use a nice free meal. Throw in a movie and popcorn - we're happy for another couple of weeks. (And yes, you are still expected to pay, AND open doors!) Or even stay in and watch a movie, a little companionship....maybe more, maybe not....

    That's why I date (as tho I remember how to date) younger men. They are usually just out for fun, no strings, no waiting for the phone to ring...etc. I've had the marriage, I've had the kids.

    It seems the men my age-ish are in mid-life crisis, desperately seeking [fill in name here], or paying big moolah for alimony and child support to the ex who calls every ten minutes.

    Can someone help me out here? I honestly don't understand.

    Don't make me go back to coaxing poor Unk over here with Skittles.

  3. #423
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broadway
    A simple "I'm looking for a woman with whom I can be comfortable, laugh, and have a good time." The minute you get into a physical description, you're dead meat, mister! :nono

    Yeah, but we don't actually BELIEVE them when they say it's another, do we????

    Yes, I know - I'm looking just a tad obsessive. Just this one more thing, and I'll leave ya'll alone. I'm just trying to understand all this. Things out here changed when I went into that marriage hibernation cave. I feel like I'm trying to assimilate back into society.

    So, Broadway, why is a physical description off limits? I'm 5'11", and I think that's sort of important info. Wouldn't a prospective date want to know that? I'd think a fella would want to know if his date is going to be a "knuckle-dragger". (sorry, that's what my brother calls me)

    I am attracted to a certain type of man (see my av - like that's a big secret) - shouldn't I say so? And of course there are exceptions to everything.

    Although my daughter is 5'11" and married a guy who's about 5'6", it's not even an issue for them, although they certainly are not the norm. (Besides, I don't think they've noticed yet - they're still so goo-goo over each other.)

    I hear (read?) how women ask men what they really want, but when she hears it she is offended. Just my opinion, but if one asks a question - shouldn't she be ready for the answer? Even if it's not the answer she wants or expects? So if she asks the question, gets the answer, and then refuses to believe it - why even ask?

    I sure wish I knew the answers to these questions - I'd write a book and everyone would live happily ever after.

    Okay, I'm done now. Sorry about being the thread hog.

  4. #424
    Former Exile :o) ToothDoc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott
    Gee Unk, I knew I could count on you. I'm the big fish in the middle. I'm going to pretend that all the fish swiming around me are male.

  5. #425
    JR.
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.
    Okay, serious question to the guys. What is the deal? Why do (and I know I'm generalizing here) you fellas think all we women want is to glom onto you and get married? What are you so afraid of?
    OK, I'll play.
    Because that's the way it seems to us. We get that "where is this relationship going" question. What, are we psychic? Or the "I want to take this to the next level" speech like it's some kind of video game.

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.
    Some of us are just hungry and could use a nice free meal. Throw in a movie and popcorn - we're happy for another couple of weeks. (And yes, you are still expected to pay, AND open doors!) Or even stay in and watch a movie, a little companionship....maybe more, maybe not....
    This is another thing. Hell, I'd like a free meal too, I don't work because I like to. Assuming the woman works and wants it to be treated as an equal, I shouldn't be expected to pay all of the time.

  6. #426
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by JR.
    OK, I'll play.
    Because that's the way it seems to us. We get that "where is this relationship going" question. What, are we psychic? Or the "I want to take this to the next level" speech like it's some kind of video game.


    This is another thing. Hell, I'd like a free meal too, I don't work because I like to. Assuming the woman works and wants it to be treated as an equal, I shouldn't be expected to pay all of the time.
    Thanks for playing, JR.

    I can only speak for myself here - and then generalize about what is wrong with the rest of the world.

    I know I've never asked those questions, although I've wondered about them. I think the reasons they questions are asked is because we are not psychics either. And another generalization - we women just talk more. (Hey, Dr. Phil says so!)

    I admit, I don't understand why people break up, or stop seeing each other, because they don't see themselves marrying each other in the future. IMO, if a couple is having fun - by all means, have some fun. Why all the pressure?

    However if you are asked the question - why not answer by saying that you don't know and that you aren't a psychic. What she does with that is her problem, right? To be perfectly honest, I don't know what "the next level" is. My only exposure to the "next level" is from watching Seinfeld.

    You'd like a free meal, too? Come on, you've heard the standard response, you pay us the same...we'll take you to dinner...etc.

    I hope you know I was being facetious about being hungry and wanting a free meal. I understand what you are saying - and I agree fair is fair. Would you be willing to trade a "restaurant" dinner for a "home-cooked" one?

    IMO, there's always room for compromise. Except in my most recent marriage/annulment. But I'm an enigma.

    Again, thanks for playing. I am curious about these things and appreciate your sharing your thoughts.

  7. #427
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    Lasagna, popcorn, free meals....what is it with food and relationships?
    A Bachelor fan til it dies a slow death and oddly enough, A Rock of Love fan...finest hair extensions from Europe and all. ;-)

  8. #428
    So Far Away Yellow Apple's Avatar
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    Well yes, the high school girl thing was a joke... sort of. I mean hey, if she's 18, she's legal.

    Me with a wife and kids is a scary thought right now, considering that I can't even get the "find a woman" part right. I'm not very experienced at relationships, so I have a hard time dealing with the initial phases. I try to avoid women with kids or an ex-husband as that's just "baggage" that I would rather not deal with. I can only handle so much at one time and I'm still taking baby steps. It takes a lot for me to put myself out there right now. Maybe in time I will be ready to talk marriage and kids, but at the moment.. no.
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  9. #429
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.
    So, Broadway, why is a physical description off limits? I'm 5'11", and I think that's sort of important info. Wouldn't a prospective date want to know that? I'd think a fella would want to know if his date is going to be a "knuckle-dragger". (sorry, that's what my brother calls me)

    I am attracted to a certain type of man (see my av - like that's a big secret) - shouldn't I say so? And of course there are exceptions to everything.
    Nah... it's not the physical description of yourself that's off limits, but putting a physical description of what you're looking FOR should be.

    Nine times out of 10 (in my experience), what you think you're looking for is not what you actually fall in love with. None of my friends ended up married to a man that matched their described *ideal mate.* Even to this day, I could tell you that I am not attracted to blonde men, but the first man that I ever fell deeply in love with was blonde.

    So... the reason I say to not put a physical description of your *ideal date* in a profile is because there are so many people that you're going to rule out that may be your perfect match internally but look nothing like what you thought you wanted. Don't do that to yourself. Don't tell the world that you want a woman that's "between 5'5 and 5'9, with long blonde hair and blue eyes" because anyone that isn't that is going to immediately click out of the profile. Your perfect match just might be 5'2, with short brown hair and green eyes.

    And YA... you don't have to be thinking marriage now. In fact, do NOT think of marriage now. Just think of going out there and meeting women that you want to be friends with. Find women that like the same things that you do. And if you, as a 28 year old man, have more in common with an 18 year old girl... then more power to ya. But don't put too much pressure on yourself to find the *one* right off the bat.

  10. #430
    JR.
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.
    Thanks for playing, JR

    However if you are asked the question - why not answer by saying that you don't know and that you aren't a psychic. What she does with that is her problem, right? To be perfectly honest, I don't know what "the next level" is. My only exposure to the "next level" is from watching Seinfeld.
    That is my standard answer every time that question comes up. The "next level" is basically saying the same thing without using the "M" word.

    Quote Originally Posted by J.D.
    Would you be willing to trade a "restaurant" dinner for a "home-cooked" one?
    It depends, a 4 star restaurant vs. mac & cheese isn't going to cut it. I'm not saying things need to be dollar for dollar, but keep it in the ballpark.

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