+ Reply to Thread
Page 280 of 284 FirstFirst ... 180230270271272273274275276277278279280281282283284 LastLast
Results 2,791 to 2,800 of 2833

Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #2791
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    In the Kat House in Kanada
    Posts
    7,704

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    So, I'm wondering since I haven't heard a reply back from my ex about being friends if I should send another e-mail to him saying that I take no reply as a "no". And then cut off communication. Leaving it like this is like years ago. I'm left hanging. I need to finish this.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  2. #2792
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Right behind you
    Posts
    5,063

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty;3117827;
    So, I'm wondering since I haven't heard a reply back from my ex about being friends if I should send another e-mail to him saying that I take no reply as a "no". And then cut off communication. Leaving it like this is like years ago. I'm left hanging. I need to finish this.
    misskitty, his not responding IS his answer. Don't send another email. Don't expect a response from him. Don't feel like you're left hanging 'cause you're not. You've decided that you don't want to be in a romantic relationship with him. You let him know that you were willing to be friends. He is the indecisive one. And your life (and happiness) should not be determined by his whims. Seriously, staying in contact with him is not good for you IMHO and from my previous experiences. I know it's challenging to meet new friends (and potential boyfriends). But it's so worth it when you meet someone nice who will take the time to be a good friend to you as well. You can silently say "goodbye" to him to yourself (or to us) and consider it done and overwith.

  3. #2793
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    In the trees
    Age
    54
    Posts
    6,911

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    misskitty, I wouldn't send him another e-mail. I know this is not the case, but in his mind it may come across as begging and that is not what you want from someone who leaves you dangling as he sees fit. Honestly, from what you've written, he doesn't appear to improved over the trouble-maker he was when you originally had a relationship with him.

    If you truly feel that your current relationship is at a dead end and you would like to potentially find a new beau, I can only iterate what is suggested here and everywhere on these occasions - get involved in events, organizations and activities you are genuinely interested in. Animals, I know, are your biggest interest (mine too), so why not volunteer at a local rescue organization? There are bound to be a lot of interesting men involved too.

    While I admire those who are happy to be alone (my hat's off to you, ladies), I am like you in that I am at my happiest with a partner, and one who is there when I need him. I hope you get everything clear in your own mind what you want and/or need, and that everything works for the best.
    All I wanted was a 45, a stinking 45 - the record or the gun. I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor. - Al Bundy.

  4. #2794
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Waiting for Spring
    Posts
    16,924

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    I'm with Lois and Rattus. Do not send him an e-mail. He seems like he hasn't grown up at all. The two of you dated for four years and discussed marriage and he broke up with you by simply shutting you out? Now, he throws out that he still loves you but doesn't respond to your offer of friendship? Hell no. Tell Mr. Tootles what you want to tell him and write him off for good.

    I definitely believe that being alone is better than being in a miserable relationship. For a whole host of reasons that I won't go into, I lived alone for years. It worked just fine for me. Then, I met someone when I wasn't even looking far, far away from here who happened to live here. We've been together for 2 1/2 years, and it's been great.

    I love Rattus's suggestion of volunteering with animal groups. I know you don't have a lot of disposable income. What about going to street fairs and free summertime concerts? Pick up the paper once a week on the day when the paper lists all those things for the coming week and go and enjoy. You might just happen to meet someone who shares common interests.
    "I miss Darva Conger." - Phonegrrrl

  5. #2795
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Miss Kitty, I agree with everyone: do not email this guy again. His non-answer is most definetly an answer. Let him go and move on.

    I have found most of my friends from volunteering. So whether you want a friendship or relationship, I have to say that volunteering has brought many wonderful people in my life.
    That and having a hobby that I was able to go and do with others (scrapbooking) because I met people at scrapbook classes and workshops. But you take painting classes and stuff, so there you go, you have a hobby that you can share with others.

    And above all, be outgoing and friendly when you do volunteer or go to classes. People approach those that seem to be having a good time because they want to have a good time too.

    Also I don't know if meetups.com has Canadian groups, but it's a great way to meet people that share your interests.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  6. #2796
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,262

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty;3117827;
    So, I'm wondering since I haven't heard a reply back from my ex about being friends if I should send another e-mail to him saying that I take no reply as a "no". And then cut off communication. Leaving it like this is like years ago. I'm left hanging. I need to finish this.
    Misskitty--totally agree with the above--no answer IS an answer. He's NOT interested in being friends. No way you have misinterpreted his "answer", so you don't need to clarify and confirm that you haven't misinterpreted it. Don't waste another electron on this jerk. And if you are still tempted, may I (don't mean to be brutal here, just helpful) recommend a copy of the paperback "He's just not that into you"? Written by a guy who watched a lot of his women friends suffer and treats with humor all the excuses women tend to make for why men haven't called you back... and, unless you are dealing with someone of therapy sized shyness...the answer is always... He's just not that into you. If a guy is interested he'll go through hell and high water to contact you...if not, not. That's the precis, but the book helps you laugh at yourself...and recognize what you are doing in the future.
    And if you are still tempted to write a snippy note along the lines of "Well, okaay then, you don't want to be friends so good by and tell the kitties good by for me." just think how Mr. Ego will interpret it.... as, "Ah, she's still interested, I've still got it (her on a string)." Do you want to give him that satisfaction? NOT writing again sends the message (which is probably not quite true) that you have zero interest in him as a romance and not much as a friend. And you leave with dignity intact. And slightly "one up"!

  7. #2797
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    In the Kat House in Kanada
    Posts
    7,704

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Lois, Rattus, myrosiedog, Mariner, Rattus: Thank you so much for your advice. You are very correct! I am not wasting any more time worrying whether I hurt him with my honesty, or need him as a friend. He obviously hasn't changed.

    I have lived alone my entire life. I didn't move in with my ex even though we dated for so long. I'm not employed and so I don't see or get the chance to talk or chat with people on a daily basis. Sometimes I go for weeks without being in public at all. Other than getting a newspaper at the end of the week.

    New problem: I have been anxiously awaiting an announcement about our first ever block party and it came today. It's going to be on the road right in front of my house. I am excited to meet 3 blocks of neighbors down my street. But I have a problem. I am booked for a 2-day facepainting workshop by world-class Wolfe Brothers in Calgary. They specialize in special effects and horror. It's already paid for and is on the Wed/Thurs of that week. I also am booked for a 4hr facepainting gig on the following Saturday: the same day as the block party.

    I could probably arrange for another face-painter to take my place and head home on the bus early, but my sweetie is drawing caricatures at the same event. On one hand, I could really use the money$$ and the experience at the gig in Calgary, and on the other, I would really like to meet my neighbors and possibly make some new friends, even though I know there are mostly couples and families.

    What would you do?
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  8. #2798
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    running for the border
    Age
    53
    Posts
    6,776

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Ditto on NEVER contacting the ex again--just no!

    As for the new dilemma--If it were me, I'd go ahead to the thing in Calgary and come back Friday, if you were sure you could get someone to replace your booking--I'd check into that now. Since your sweetie would be be busy and you would too, you won't miss much time with him. Unless of course you are THAT broke and must have the money. After all, you have been saying that you would really like to meet new friends that live close to you, and theere's no telling who will turn up at the block party--couples and famlies can still be your buddies, and might even invite some single friends to the party. . Maybe you could even do some free face painting samples on kids in the neighborhood, and it could lead to paid parties real close to where you live.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  9. #2799
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    OOOHHH! I agree with Queenb, come back early, do your block party and do some freebie face painting as it could land you some great paid gigs and may be an ice breaker for some of those singles to come up and talk to you (or chat you up as our British friends would say ) Plus the kids and their parents will LOVE you for doing it. Great way to meet the neighbors and their friends.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  10. #2800
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Enchanted by a beautiful Soprano
    Posts
    3,163

    Re: Relationship Challenged

    Great way to meet the neighbors and their friends
    Great way to meet kids and mommies, anyway. I guess if you spotted a cute guy (probably one of my clones ) you could tell him that face painting isn't just for kids . . .
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.