+ Reply to Thread

Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #1521
    JR.
    JR. is offline
    Drummer / Model JR.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    42 22' N 71 2' W
    Age
    43
    Posts
    6,937
    Well, when someone does catch your attention, don't be afraid to make the first move. I know a lot of women won't do that, but they are the ones missing out. There's nothing wrong with it, and a lot of guys do like it.

  2. #1522
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,382
    Maybe for the same reasons some women like their husbands/boyfriends like that--or put up with it. Some people interpret s/he wants me with him/her all the time to mean s/he really loves me. Other people are mentally/emotionally abused. Other people...like being bossed around.

  3. #1523
    FORT Fogey lambikins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,626
    Quote Originally Posted by PWS View Post
    Maybe for the same reasons some women like their husbands/boyfriends like that--or put up with it. Some people interpret s/he wants me with him/her all the time to mean s/he really loves me. Other people are mentally/emotionally abused. Other people...like being bossed around.
    You called it, PWS; for every pot there is a lid. Charity, don't you watch Dr. Phil or Maury??? On those shows it's just the opposite: weepinng women who are controlled by their husbands and have to ask permission to go to the bathroom, no less, yet when pressed as to why they stay, they weep louder with "Because I LOVE him!"

    Emotionally stunted people seek each other out. You just happen to see the male side; there's an equal amount of women who want "Daddy" to set their personal limits, too.
    Still crazy, after all these shears

    "lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott

    "lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat

  4. #1524
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,382
    I have to tell you a story here... a psychologist I knew, back in the day, told me he had recently had a young (college student) woman come to see him, troubled that no one wanted to date her and that she was still a virgin. She was a little shy about approaching guys. He was a behaviorist, so he gave her an "assignment" to carry out before their next meeting. She was supposed to smile at 3 guys. Then they planned to work up to approaching, talking to, etc. guys. At the next meeting she said she had carried out the assignment, and didn't need any more therapy as she was no longer a virgin.
    I know this sounds like a bad joke, but I think it was a true story. So the point being, to support what others said, sometimes guys just need a (very) little encouragement, especially when it comes to approaching someone as self confident seeming as you. Also to support what others said, college is a whole other ballgame. For starters you've dropped a lot (but not all) of the complete chowderheads out of the mix. For seconds, assuming you picked a college significantly bigger than your high school, there are a lot more people there, and no one knows who was popular or not in their high school, so no one is stuck in their old image. For thirds, if you've picked a school near a big city you will probably meet a considerably more sophisticated set of guys who will appreciate your wit. Just beware...some older college guys prey on freshwomen who didn't date much in high school. I still recall at our freshman "mixer", which was supposed to be ALL first year students, talking to a guy who was a senior, who'd paid a freshMAN for his ticket, just so he could get first crack at the freshWOMEN. So use your common sense and take things slowly. And have fun!!!

  5. #1525
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    looking for a deal on evilBay
    Posts
    6,052
    There are a bunch of us that hang out together .. 5 couples that are now married. At first there was just the one couple that was married and they had 2 children. I could never understand why if the wife stayed home instead of coming out with us that she expected her husband to do the same. If the kids are in bed what's the big deal?
    Well my attitude took a very quick about face when we had our own kiddo. The wife/girlfriend is the primary caregiver in all 5 of these marriages, in addition to that we all hold down full time jobs and run the household. Our men go to work. They work hard. So do we.
    Yes, I do believe that each person needs time as an individual to mingle with friends ... but as women we usually have to carve that time out of our schedules, men just have to make sure that we are going to be home.
    If I'm staying home with a sick baby.. frankly so is hubby. And furthermore he should be happy to be there. We all make sacrifices, with parents it's usually our social life that suffers. Our time will come again< my husband always tells the guys _ i have to check with my wife because it"s the CONSIDERATE thing to do not because they are henpecked
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  6. #1526
    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Round Rock, TX
    Age
    44
    Posts
    2,417
    Agree duxxy! I think it's not a "I have to get permission to do it", more like I want to do this, just letting you know, is this ok with your plans or convenient for our schedules. I do this to my b/f all the time. I am not getting permission but letting him know, hey I want to do this - happy hour, girls night out, etc., and you may be on your own for dinner, or getting some laundry done if you thought I'd be home to do it, or going to the gym without me this time, etc. If I really want to go b/c it's important for me to - like a birthday or a going away thing, I'll tell him I'm going. If I'm not sure I want to go, I'll ask him if he minds. He usually doesn't mind but occasionally he does. If he does mind and I still want to go, then I'm "in trouble". But not for long . I could go on and on about our "rules" but he is ready for bed and I asked for more computer time and now I think I'll go. Also, it's every relationship is different and what works for some, may not work for others.

  7. #1527
    Amethyst YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion Amy Lee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    whatever
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,081
    I think some partners might act that way towards there s/o due to some deep-rooted insecurity or low-self esteem. And when i say the latter i mean that, how you treat others is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. One may now recognize somethings about themselves but may just as well project them unto others.
    Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
    Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison...

  8. #1528
    Obama '08! Callie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    La La Land
    Age
    32
    Posts
    1,028
    Maybe this is pushing the pyschological barriers here... but I think some of it is the fact that those particular guys want those boundaries. Something of what their mother gave to them when they were little kids. I also have to agree with J.D. with how these men are scared of these women leaving them, so they just do as they're told.

    I myself could never do or be like that. I'm pretty old fashion in my ways of I like a MAN. Someone who will take care of me, and if the two of us can't reach a decision... his word will be the final word.

  9. #1529
    Mixing Old Fashioneds PhoneGrrrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    4,978
    Quote Originally Posted by PWS View Post
    I have to tell you a story here... a psychologist I knew, back in the day, told me he had recently had a young (college student) woman come to see him, troubled that no one wanted to date her and that she was still a virgin. She was a little shy about approaching guys. He was a behaviorist, so he gave her an "assignment" to carry out before their next meeting. She was supposed to smile at 3 guys. Then they planned to work up to approaching, talking to, etc. guys. At the next meeting she said she had carried out the assignment, and didn't need any more therapy as she was no longer a virgin.
    If this is a true story, then it is truly disturbing. Going from too shy to talk to guys into sleeping with one she's known less than a week is not a picture of mental health. While in principle I agree that being open and friendly is a better way to meet guys than being withdrawn and shy, there had to be serious issues at play to go from virgin to bedding a stranger at 18 years old in less than 7 days.

  10. #1530
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    In the Kat House in Kanada
    Posts
    7,704
    Attitudes of Women to their Men

    I found the title of this thread "telling".
    Last edited by Mariner; 05-24-2006 at 04:03 AM.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.