+ Reply to Thread
Page 13 of 284 FirstFirst ... 3456789101112131415161718192021222363113 ... LastLast
Results 121 to 130 of 2833

Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #121
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    in the kitchen, darling!
    Age
    44
    Posts
    4,842
    Sorry to be so pessimistic, but Erin, men sometimes don't really want a divorce, and since she's the one who filed on him...he may be promising her the Earth, moon, and stars to get her to drop the papers. He could be avoiding you. Most men would try and save a marriage over an affair that's only been going on a few weeks.
    Last edited by Texicana; 10-12-2004 at 11:45 AM.
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  2. #122
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Seems I'm Lost.
    Age
    46
    Posts
    2,071
    I echo MK's sentiments exactly.
    Love many, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe

  3. #123
    Fort Freak! funnygirl422's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Age
    48
    Posts
    2,591
    Erin, you gotta go back to the old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater". Would you seriously be able to trust this guy? He may have given you the line of "it's been over for a while, we just haven't filed the paperwork" but it's really not over until the paperwork is filed, stamped and finalized and he's no longer residing with her.

    I say go to your local fire department with a basket of muffins and tell them it's just to say thanks for all their hard work If that doesn't work, go home and start a fire in your kitchen and tell them you think it originated in the oven while you were baking more muffins. I'm telling ya, you'll have your pick of the litter.

  4. #124
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    918
    Quote Originally Posted by unexplained
    I finally pluck the courage to talk to him because it's the last class today. We're going to have a break for 6 weeks of holidays here.

    I figured if I talk to him today, I'll either have 6 weeks to 'recover' if he rejects my acquaintance and see that the infatuation wasn't mutual, or more time to get to know each other without the constrains of class.


    Then, he didn't come today. Thus the wait continues....
    Poor UE! What a cliffhanger....

    Erin...ending a marriage (even a bad one) usually requires a "mourning" period, kind of like any other loss in your life. Even when you are really, really sure, sometimes you have that moment of "what if." That could be what he's going through. I learned in adult psych that going through a divorce (if you are ending a bad relationship) often involves a period of trauma and uncertainty (the mourning phase), but after you get through that, you end up much healthier psychologically. It is hard thing to go through, no matter who you are or what the circumstances are. MKW pretty much summed it up. All you can do at this point is wait a bit and see what happens.

    ETA: or you could go with funnygirl's suggestion.

  5. #125
    FORT Fogey Pyramid Solitaire by Disney's Tangled Champion combatcutie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    hangin' with the girls drinking Cosmos
    Posts
    7,739
    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    Sorry to be so pessimistic, but Erin, men sometimes don't really want a divorce, and since she's the one who filed on him...he may be promising her the Earth, moon, and stars to get her to drop the papers. He could be avoiding you. Most men would try and save a marriage over an affair that's only been going on a few weeks.
    I hope you don't end up getting hurt Erin
    I can only please one person a day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either

  6. #126
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    7,303
    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    Sorry to be so pessimistic, but Erin, men sometimes don't really want a divorce, and since she's the one who filed on him...he may be promising her the Earth, moon, and stars to get her to drop the papers. He could be avoiding you. Most men would try and save a marriage over an affair that's only been going on a few weeks.
    How right you are. He may have gotten blindsided by a divorce that he didn't want at all. Sorry folks but here's my take. Erin hon I don't know you but for God's sake, what would you want with this guy? Is this a one time cheat he has going or is he a born cheater? Would you feel comfortable with him if you were tied to him? Would there be any trust? I just don't think I'd feel secure. You probably need to run! Don't call him. He has your number. I hope he doesn't use it.

  7. #127
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Seems I'm Lost.
    Age
    46
    Posts
    2,071
    funnygirl - you are too funny. Where were you with this advice when I was (more) single and really looking??????
    Love many, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe

  8. #128
    Fort Freak! funnygirl422's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Age
    48
    Posts
    2,591
    Quote Originally Posted by ADKLove
    funnygirl - you are too funny. Where were you with this advice when I was (more) single and really looking??????
    Probably going through my divorce.

    Bastard was bangin' some broad on the side. I had to find a sense of humor about it because that kind of hurt goes to the bone. Not pointing fingers Erin...I'm really not. Every situation is different. I was in the "I don't even know we were having problems in our marriage" situation.

  9. #129
    FORT Fanatic mkwdood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Online Shopping
    Posts
    458
    ok. confession time. I cheated several years ago (married 26 years this year) - but we were going through a very rough time (I don't think I even spoke to him much for 5 years before that). I was miserable, I wanted out.
    As soon as I finally admitted that to my husband (and myself) we worked it out. But I never said anything about the other. It was something I needed so desperately at the time. No regrets, no guilt. Just moved on to being back in love with my husband.
    Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

  10. #130
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    18,963
    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    Sorry to be so pessimistic, but Erin, men sometimes don't really want a divorce, and since she's the one who filed on him...he may be promising her the Earth, moon, and stars to get her to drop the papers. He could be avoiding you. Most men would try and save a marriage over an affair that's only been going on a few weeks.
    I'm with Texie. If this guy was married and still living with his wife... then he was in no way, shape, or form seperated from her enough to start a relationship that you could in any way count on. He's definitely going to try to save his marriage, or at this point try and stay as clean as possible so his wife doesn't have reason to hurt his little butt in court.

    Either way, you need to get yourself out of the picture. It's only been a couple of weeks so get the heck out of dodge. If, after his divorce is finalized you guys to see each other again.. fine. But you need to respect yourself enough to wait until he's free.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.