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Thread: Relationship Challenged

  1. #1121
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    go for it

    go for it, you only live once! Even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped, life is just a series of rehearsals until the right one comes along. The worst thing that can happen is you gain a friend. Boost your confidence and start believing in yourself, others will admire that quality and be drawn to you.

  2. #1122
    FORT Fogey lambikins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskitty View Post
    I've had my fill of bad luck, mind you, but I managed to dodge a full bullets, including a drunk, a liar, a cheater, an abuser, and someone who enjoys illegal activities.
    Dear miss kitty,

    Although you appear successful in having dodged the bullets, I, apparently, either dated or married all the rejects that you tossed to the side of the road!

    I sure wish that I had had your ability to filter through B.S. men, a lot earlier in life! Where were YOU and your sage advice, the first 35 years of my life????

    ~Lambi~ Happy, finally, with her Sally!
    Still crazy, after all these shears

    "lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott

    "lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat

  3. #1123
    Wishing for spring Mellon's Avatar
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    Well, it's official... After four and a half years, I'm now entering the single pool once again. Surprisingly, as I had invested more into the relationship than he had, I'm fine with it & was the one to call the final shots. Everything is sitting very well within me and I'm looking forward to the next adventure in my life.

    I have read almost all of Dr. Phil's books and started doing Relationship REscue before I got together with Mr. Mel, but put it to the side - I'm going to restart it and see what I can learn about myself further. I also have just received his newest book - Love Smart - from a friend of mine who sent it with only good intentions in mind - it's another take a good look at yourself book so I'm interested in the end result!

    Buffy: What is this?
    Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too. ("Gingerbread")

    Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey! ("Buffy vs. Dracula")

  4. #1124
    Premium Member DesertRose's Avatar
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    Good luck with your new life Mellon. We'll all be here to root for you.

  5. #1125
    Here's your sign JAFO'S PRINCESS's Avatar
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    Mellon- If you were investing more than him you are probably better off on your own anyway. Good luck and remember- Don't ever settle. You are better than that.
    I might as well work. I'm in a bad mood anyway.
    "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be." Dogbert's tech support.

  6. #1126
    giz
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    Everyone was so nice when I first said that my husband was leaving me and the kids, I thought I should do an update! He moved out January 1, but comes over 5 or 6 times a week to see the kids. It's almost too much (how will he know if he misses the marriage when he sees me almost every day?), but I want him to see as much of the kids as he and they would like. He's doing really well in that regard, and - so far - financially. I'm not angry with him now, just feel sorry for him really. He's missing out on seeing them (I don't think he's seen either of them asleep since they were babies as he's been hungover for the past 2 years or more) doing the mundane things, and I'm so grateful I get to be here for that.

    I don't where my relationship with him will go. It will take a lot longer than I'd reckoned for him to get better. He's still pretty down, but drinking less, so that's something. He smiles at me sometimes, and while he's not interested in my day (partly ego, partly depression I think; he' s got a funny combination of arrogance and low self-esteem) he has brought me little things (fancy chocolate bars, snazzy vegetable peeler). He gave me a Valentine's which said "It takes more than a kiss to turn a frog into a prince, a couple of strong cocktails usually works", which I took to mean he thinks he's a frog, unredeemable by love, and only likes himself when drunk. Great!! But he signed it, "love you guys", so its progress from him telling me he can't stand me, and that while I'm beautiful I have an unattractive personality. (Obviously not real happy about that one, but am trying to think it's the depression talking).

    Basically I feel like I have a lot more options now. I could fall in love with someone else, I could meet someone else to have a good time with, I could give him space and time and see if he comes back to the guy I married. It's all possible, and that makes me feel good. I've got my hair cut, and bought a few new clothes. So right now, I'm feeling pretty good! Sad for the kids, of course, but for me, it's okay.

  7. #1127
    Premium Member DesertRose's Avatar
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    I'm glad to hear that you are doing fine Giz. I was actually just wondering where you had gone. Change does take a while, but you do seem like you are on the road to it, whichever direction you choose to take.

  8. #1128
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by giz View Post
    I've got my hair cut, and bought a few new clothes. So right now, I'm feeling pretty good!
    Good for you, giz! Day by day, week by week... I too have wondered how you've been. Keep hanging in there!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  9. #1129
    Culture slut geek the girl's Avatar
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    Glad to hear you're doing well, giz! Keep hanging in there, and remember that you have a pretty good support system here at the FORT whenever you feel like venting. I've missed having you around!
    "There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more" (Morrissey)

  10. #1130
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    I'm glad to hear you're doing well, giz. However, if you're starting to really feel this way,

    It's almost too much (how will he know if he misses the marriage when he sees me almost every day?)
    then maybe it would be advisable to drop the kids off at his house/apartment for his visits. Only you know what's best, but I'd be careful about giving him the best of both worlds. Right now it sounds like he can play daddy/husband whenever he wants and then go back to playing bachelor in his place.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

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