Relationship Challenged

[Igotalife]

How funny he had a show about his book today Lambikins! I bought the book myself almost 3 yrs ago, when I was in a very "broken" relationship.

I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil in general, but his "get real" approach is refreshingly brutally honest (if you're willing to put your own guards down) and take responsibility for your part in a bad relationship. It's a real eye opener if you are ready to make some changes and admit some truths to yourself....AND be willing to work through the book. Of course, if you're not willing, it won't work.

I'll admit, I cried a lot of tears when I was going through it, but it was well worth it. It really makes you face a lot of demons that have formed present fears/habits in relationships. Good therapy for less than $30.

Tell me how you like it if you get it....and keep a journal as you are doing the exercises. I still look back on mine for a reminder now and then.

Cheers to being the best you can be. s

[Pomeraniac]

That's exactly what made me willing to give my honey a chance...his daily objective is to laugh and smile just like mine. Life is too short to always be miserable and feeling sorry for yourself. You have a good strong head on your shoulders Pom!

Igotahandittoyou, Igotalife, 'cause I find that you always have good, sound, common sense advice when it comes to relationship matters. I appreciate your input and I always enjoy reading your posts.

More often than not, you give me something to consider and think about long after I've logged off the computer, and that's neat.

I'm sometimes think of changing my FORT screen name from "Pomeraniac" to "IneedtogetalifelikeIgotalifego t," 'cause I know you're really doing well and I've met you both, and I'm just so happy for you. I'm glad to know that you and The Mister are doing so well. I love that you don't just give advice -- you live it.

So even though I dream of making that name change, I always reconsider and decide against it, though, 'cause in fact I'm very, very happy with my life right now. If someone walks into the picture, that'll be nice, but I'm certainly not dependent on that happening.

As for my head: thanks for the compliment, but I think the only reason my head's grown strong is 'cause I've forced it to lug around all this hair of mine around for so, so many years!!!

[misskitty]

I'm single by choice right now, but one of these days I may choose to get back in a relationship with someone...If I do, the guy with whom I'll get involved will be emotionally and physically strong, he'll be as independent and as happy with his life as I am with mine, ...He'll take responsibility for making good things happen in his life, as I have done in mine.
..If I meet someone who is that way -- great, but I'll be fine if I never do. I know for sure that I'd never settle for less, and I'm happy to know that no matter what, I'll always have THE POMERANIANS.

Damn fine piece of advice if I may say so myself. I too will always have the kitts!

I have also been questioned about why I have never married even though I had potentital opportunity. The truth is I never met a really, really, good man. I could have played the game, figured I was old, that this was the best I could do, and been married. I would definitely be divorced by now, with children which is not the way I would go into marriage. I've had my fill of bad luck, mind you, but I managed to dodge a full bullets, including a drunk, a liar, a cheater, an abuser, and someone who enjoys illegal activities.

So. I may stand alone. But I stand tall. Even for a short person.

[Pomeraniac]

[QUOTE=misskitty;1777186So. I may stand alone. But I stand tall. Even for a short person. [/QUOTE]

I'm proud of you, misskitty!!!

We're never truly alone, 'cause we'll always have the kitties and dogs in our lives . . . and our friends. . . . And the FORT.

[Unklescott]

On the Montel Williams show right now the show is all about how to might and date without doing the bar scene. They are going to show a cuddle party.

[Pomeraniac]

Remember there was a thread in this place called, "CUDDLE PARTY"?

I seem to remember that it grossed everybody out!!

[JAFO'S PRINCESS]

OMG I was scoping that thread earlier. "Cuddle party??????" cuddle party???? EWWWWWWWWWWWW.

[MRD]

I almost hate to ask, but what is a cuddle party?

I don't like Montel, so won't be watching. Maybe someone can give me the short version?

[Unklescott]

I almost hate to ask, but what is a cuddle party?

We had a thread about it here:

Cuddle Party

[Igotalife]

More often than not, you give me something to consider and think about long after I've logged off the computer, and that's neat.

I love that you don't just give advice -- you live it.

Awww, thank you Pom. I think that is a tremendous compliment to know that I make you think. Relationships and life in general can be very challenging sometimes and I guess I figure that between all of us here combined, we can walk one big mile in each other's shoes and hopefully help someone else avoid the same mis-steps in our own lives. Its good group therapy

Relationships don't complete you...your life has to already feel complete before you come into them. You, MissKitty and others echo exactly that sentiment and its wonderful! I do not take it for granted that I am here in this thread posting advice when I really, at face value, am not in a place to give advice since I have had two broken marriages. That alone brings harsh judgment from some, but truth is, no one ever knows what you went through and what really happened except YOU...if someone finds value in something I say, great...I know I personally need all the help I can get in the matters of the heart so I appreciate reading other points of view! I am convinced there is ALWAYS someone else out there that has been through something similar. If you can gain something useful from someone else's mistakes and DO something about it, high five! It is profound.

I wouldn't say my life is perfect by any stretch of the word, but I do feel like I have taken very positive steps forward in my life since my divorce in '04 and I feel very happy and content with my life now. I have definitely learned to stop and smell the roses however.

No one can predict life events that break you down, its how you recover that is important. It's a constant work in progress.


ETA: Sorry for the long winded post...this issue obviously touches my heart.