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Thread: Point System for Guys in a Relationship

  1. #1
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Point System for Guys in a Relationship

    Some of you have probably seen this before, but I just got it again today and thought it was worth posting.

    > For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing
    with women.
    Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
    >
    > Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
    happy. Do
    something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are
    subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,
    that's the
    way the game is played.
    >
    > Here is a guide to the points system:
    >
    > SIMPLE DUTIES
    > You make the bed........................... .............................. ..+1
    > You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows..-1
    > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....................-2
    > You leave the toilet seat up............................ ....................-5
    > You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty................+5
    > When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.. -1
    > When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.......-2
    > You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
    > in the rain.......................... .............................. .............+8
    > but return with beer.......................... ..............................-1
    > and no panty liners........................ .............................. .-25
    > You check out a suspicious noise at night......................... +1
    > You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............. 0
    > You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.........+5
    > You pummel it with a six iron.......................... .................+10
    > It's her cat........................... .............................. .............-40
    >
    > AT THE PARTY
    > You stay by her side the entire party......................... .........0
    > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old
    > drinking buddy......................... .............................. ..........-2
    > Named Tiffany....................... .............................. ............-5
    > Tiffany is a dancer........................ .............................. ...-10
    > With breast implants...................... .............................. ...-20
    >
    > HER BIRTHDAY
    > You remember her birthday...................... ........................+1
    > You buy a card and flowers....................... .......................+2
    > You take her out to dinner........................ ........................+5
    > You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar...........+10
    > Okay, it is a sports bar........................... .........................-10
    > And it's all-you-can-eat night......................... ..................-20
    > It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favourite team..........................-30
    >
    > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
    > Go with a pal........................... .............................. ........... 0
    > The pal is happily married....................... ........................ +1
    > The pal is single........................ .............................. .......-10
    > He drives a Ferrari....................... .............................. ....-20
    > With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).................-30
    >
    > A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
    > You take her to a movie......................... ..........................+2
    > You take her to a movie she likes......................... .............+5
    > You take her to a movie you hate.......................... ............+8
    > You take her to a movie you like.......................... .............-5
    > It's called Death Cop III........................... ........................-10
    > Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................ .-20
    > You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-30
    >
    > THE BIG QUESTION
    > She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in
    responding.................... .............................. ...............-10
    > You reply,"Where?".............................. ..........................-35
    > You reply, "No, I think it's your a$$".............................. .-100
    >
    > COMMUNICATION
    > When she wants to talk about a problem:
    > You listen, displaying a concerned expression...................+ 1
    >
    > You listen, for over 30 minutes....................... ...................+5
    > You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.+50
    > You have fallen asleep........................ ..........................-200
    >
    > ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH......
    > You talk.......................... .............................. ...............-100
    > You don't talk.......................... .............................. .......-100
    > You spend time with her........................... .....................-100
    > You don't spend time with her........................... .............-100
    > You are seen enjoying yourself...................... ................-100

  2. #2
    It's Chihuly Summer's Avatar
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    Good one Wayner!
    btw, cool AV
    Watch out, It's a stampede!

  3. #3
    On ice duckgirl's Avatar
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    Thanks Summer (on the av) .

  4. #4
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    Wayner. I love that. The section 'The Big Question' had me .

  5. #5
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    I actually think my wife would enjoy watching Death Cop III with me.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  6. #6
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Okay, so I checked my score on this test, and it seems I can hover between -24 and a number that requires exponents to fully document...

    This isn't one of those rigged tests is it Wayner? Who doesn't like Death Cop III?
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  7. #7
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Bill_in_PDX
    Who doesn't like Death Cop III?
    I know, Bill! That part where the cyborgs ate the horny, flashlight-totin' kids? I loved that!
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  8. #8
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Paulie
    I know, Bill! That part where the cyborgs ate the horny, flashlight-totin' kids? I loved that!
    Exactly, and Abe Vigoda's performance was truly oscar worthy as the head of the Legion of Doom.

    Sure, the love scene involving Abe and Lynda Carter was a little unusual, but it tastefully done considering all of the handcuffs involved...
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  9. #9
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Abe Vigoda and horny, flashlight-totin' kids?

  10. #10
    How do I look? Skank Watcher's Avatar
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    This is great!

    How about adding this:

    A ROMANTIC DINNER AT HOME
    She cooks the dinner........................ ..........-5
    You cook dinner........................ ................+10
    You don't use the microwave...................+2 0
    You light candles....................... .................+3
    You serve her favorite wine.......................+5
    You crack her open a "Bud Light" .............-15
    You turn on TV during dinner....................-10
    To ESPN.......................... ..........................-20
    To the Three Stooges....................... ........-30
    Beauty is only skin deep. I love skin!

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