Tallulah - I'm so happy for you! Best wishes for a Happy and Healthy 34 more weeks
Ok mommies and mommies to be. I have an issue. I would like to have as natural a birth as possible. I would prefer not to use pain medicines, be induced, have my waters broken, etc. My husband is on board (now that I have explained everything and talked with him) and my best friend, who is training to be a doula, is supportive too. The problem is, every time someone asks me about it or I mention it to anyone, I get the crazy eye. Like, what am I thinking? Even my mom, his mom, the people I would expect to support and encourage me, are saying that I am in over my head...
We are taking classes and I am reading everything I can get my hands on. I have been practicing my meditation and relaxation techniques and I know that it will be hard. Women have been doing it for thousands of years without epidurals though, so why can't I?
Does anyone have experience with natural child birth, and can you give me advice for dealing with the ladies who are trying to tell me that I can't do it? It is very discouraging to hear the women in my life, who have all given birth, say that it will be impossible...
Don't let them get to you. How you chose to give birth is your own personal decision. However, do prepare a plan B. Unfortunately, giving birth rarely goes as planned.
I admire women that chose to do it the natural way. It is not an easy feat, but it is not impossible. Like you said, many before you have done it.
Cahalanmac - I don't have personal advice, since I delivered both of my girls vaginally, but with an epidural. I will only say that this is your birth and your baby, so do it the way you want it. But I will agree with DesertRose that sometimes as much as you want it one way, your little one doesn't agree! Therefore, things can and do go differently than you want them. If you are prepared for that, things will work out!
Best of luck - I started not telling ANYONE ANYTHING about my pregnancy, because everyone had an opinion and an experience (you know, the "my cousin's best friend's aunt had a friend who....." UGH!). I wish you the best experience ever! However it turns out, just wait until you have that bundle of joy - it's quite an experience
Cahalanmac - when my daughter was born I declined an epidural and it worked out ok. I did end up having a shot of interthecal morphine about 40 hours into labor (and after 8 hours of being on increasing doses of pictocin), but at that point they said I needed something because I didn't have enough time between contractions to breathe and it was either try something to take the edge off or end up having a c-section for failure to progress. That one shot did the trick and my daughter was born less than an hour later.
The one thing I know after having a non-epidural vaginal delivery is that I really felt pretty darn great after delivery. I was up moving around furniture within an hour (as we got swarmed with visitors, and had to move rooms, etc). If it is what you want, don't worry about what others tell you, you're right that you can do it.
My one piece of advice is to keep an open mind for yourself while you're going through it. It isn't a "defeat" to use some of the available pain relief if you're getting to a point where you don't feel in control of the delivery any longer. Any labor resulting in a healthy baby and a healthy mom is a "successful" one.
I decided early on to keep an open mind. I have never given birth before, but from all that I have read, a natural birth feels right for me. Of course, if medical intervention is needed, I will do what is best for little Avery. It just amazes me how unsupportive and discouraging women can be. I guess I will have to take your advice marybethp and just keep my mouth shut.
Example. I went to dinner at the inlaws Saturday night. That morning we had gone to our Unmedicated Childbirth Class. My (step)MIL just rolled her eyes and said, "why bother, you will just end up with an epidural anyway..." GRRRRR! I guess it shouldn't bother me what other people think, but if there was ever a time I could use some extra support and encouragement, now is the time.
cahalanmac - I got strange looks and votes of no-confidence from a lot of people for wanting to breastfeed my daughter. I think sometimes people try to eat away at your confidence just because they subconsiously feel a little guilty for not doing (or even trying) natural birth or breastfeeding or whatever themselves, so they want others to fail to justify their paths to motherhood. I just stopped telling people, but there are lots of places to go for support from moms who've been there, done that and will give you tips and not doubt your abilities. A crunchy granola friend of mine is a mod at a website called thebabywearer.com and they are very much all about natural birth, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc. I know my friend is the mom to 3 under 4 (yeah I know, wow) with another on the way and she would drive across town or spend all night on the phone to help out someone who needed some support on parenting issues.
BTW, guys, I'm expecting too. Still very early on, due in August. My kindergarten daughter (my "only" for her whole life so far) is wildly excited. This time around I get to experience the joys of AMA (advanced maternal age - yipee) and not being able to "hide" anything. Oh well, we're really excited but have a lot of work to do before the house is ready, etc. Lots of time to think about, especially late at night when I'm up peeing again.
OMG! Congratulations, LG! How exciting!
It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins