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Thread: Burnout

  1. #1
    Leo
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    Burnout

    I was wondering, does anyone of you know any good tips to solve burnout?

    You see, the past one, two years have not been terribly good to me, and I've been emotionally burning both ends of the candle. Unfortunately, lately, it's been affecting my academics as well... frequently, I can't even be bothered to care about them anymore.

    I was hoping that you guys could help me out - even though it's not really fair for me to dump all my problems on the people I'm barely beginning to know here at FORT.

  2. #2
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    uhg, Leo... I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Unfortunately I don't.

    I guess I'd say to, NO MATTER WHAT, make time for yourself everyday. Even if it means getting up 15 minutes early, or going to bed 15 minutes late. Just sit, relax.. drink some coffee/tea/wine/soda and think of what is good in your life. Believe it or not, this is harder than it sounds. Frequently when one arises early and winds up with alone time, they waste it by cleaning up/paying bills/ etc. Whatever they were going to do anyway. So TRY to chill for just a few minutes a day.

    It is so easy in this day and age to get overwhelmed. To spread yourself so thin that in reality you are doing more harm than good to both yourself and the people around you. It seems simple to say that you just need to set your priorities, but again, this is easier said than done.

    The though of you getting to the point where you feel like you just don't care anymore is disheartening. Yet, I find myself in that place with you quite often of late!

    I hope some other FORTIES will have some advice for you.

    No matter what, don't feel as though it is unfair to unload here. There is no better place to do it. Your anonimity is secure, you are not burdoning, as people don't HAVE to read it, and you can get some things off your chest!

    Good luck.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  3. #3
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I highly recommend spending MORE time here, and less time on everything else.



    Actually, what Cali recommended is a good idea. Try to find some "me time" every day, where you can be alone, not really doing anything, and just relax. Write it on your schedule if you have to. And no matter what's happening at that particular pre-set time, drop it and give yourself time to shut down for a bit.

  4. #4
    It's Chihuly Summer's Avatar
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    Leo, I am not sure of your age or situation but my advice is to look towards the end of the road.

    I am assuming that you are in school and unless you are very young and went straight to college from high school, you chose to go to school. The road is long and hard but in the end what you are working for will be worth all the struggle along the way.
    And if you did go to colege straight out of high school, look at it this way, you are getting your education early in life which will enable you to be better established at a younger age than many of us are/were. This in turn will allow you to enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy at a younger age.

    And if you haven't done so already, wait to get married and have children.
    Watch out, It's a stampede!

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey MollyRose's Avatar
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    Everyone's given good advice. You might also think about talking to someone like a counselor or peer counselor. (I always think of this because I'm the director of the Crisis Center in my town).

    You don't have to be totally unravveling to get some benefit from talking problems over with someone who isn't personally invovled. Sometimes they can just listen, help you sort-out what's going on and help you think of some solutions that you hadn't come up with yet.

    If you want to contact me I'll email you more, or if you have free long distance on a cell phone or something like that, you're welcome to call my center at 505 277-3013.

    Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Let people who care help you .

  6. #6
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    I think the advice here is excellent as always. A couple more suggestions:

    1) Ensure that you excercise daily. Even if it is just going for a walk along a nice trail, and the like. That activity helps to keep you energy level up and will give you some of the alone time you need.

    2) If facing multiple big problems to deal with, focus on the individual small steps that you can attack and get past now, rather than always looking at the magnitude of the big problem and how seemingly impossible it looks. Pretty soon you will find that you are well on your way to overcoming the big problem.

    Also, there was interesting study performed long ago on stress that still applies today. Basically two groups of people were placed in two rooms and asked to perform mundane tasks (such as typing a letter, playing cards, building simple block structures, etc...) while being timed, and during this time a really annoying noise was blared loudly into the room.

    One group was told that if they pressed a button, the annoying noise would stop, while the other was forced to work through the noise with no such recourse.

    Not surprisingly the group with the buttom performed the tasks faster and with more accuracy. What may surprise you is that they rarely chose to push the button. It seemed that just having the ability to make the noise stop was enough to help.

    So what the hell does all of that mean you ask?

    If you create ways in your life to get away, such as that time for yourself, and you always recognize that now and again you will need to push that button, then you will find that alot of your burden is lifted.
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  7. #7
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    Bill, again you have incredible words of wisdom.

    How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Take the time to do each task right. Do only one task at a time. Do not fill your schedule up so that tasks overlap. Plan downtime in between activities just to relax and enjoy the satisfaction of compleating the last task before moving on to the next. At the end of the day sit down and write down what you loved about the day. Eat that elaphant one bite at a time. Burn out is a limited time event. You will feel better. You may have to pear down some of your activities. Excess in anything is bad. Vary your activities and balance the amount of time you spend in each. Variety is the spice of life.

    Hope this helps.
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

  8. #8
    plaisirs volatils raindance's Avatar
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    Leo, I'm sorry to hear that the past two years haven't been good for you

    I don't have any tips to offer you, and I believe that there is no one specific magical formular that would nail it. Nonetheless, the advice given are all very good, take some time off to relax, talking it through etc etc. Maybe you need to find a 'balance', equilibrium sort of thing. Focus on happy, positive things.

    Just wanted you to know that the people here at the FORT are fantastic people. Don't hesitate about sharing your problems.

    I don't want to sound harsh or anything. But studies are pretty important, please don't give it up.

    Just hang in there. Better days are bound to come.

    (Slight aside - I was reminded of the protaganist in 'The Mayor of Casterbridge' Michael Henchard. You might want to read that book.)
    Last edited by raindance; 01-20-2003 at 12:13 PM.
    “In Rrrussia, vee have proverb: Only bad soliders don’t vant to be general.” Sasha Pivovarova

  9. #9
    Sleeping with George W
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    There's a lot of great advice here.

    Only thing I'd add is a great way to start "caring" about things again is to do some volunteer work to help others. Even if it's just one hour, one day a week, at an "old folks home" or soup kitchen, it's nice to 1) be around people who need you and really appreciate your goodness and 2) see first-hand the struggles of others (great for perspective!)

    I do agree with MollyRose too, there's no substitute for being able to just talk to someone who can objectively listen to you and suggest ways you can start to feel better about things. I've done that a few times in my life and it helped immeasurably.

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey
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    A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
    > front of him.
    >
    > When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty
    > mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in
    > diameter.
    >
    > He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it
    was.
    > So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
    > the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled
    into the open areas between the rocks.
    >
    > He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it
    > was.
    >
    > The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
    > course, the sand filled up everything else.
    >
    > He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
    with an unanimous --yes.
    >
    > The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and
    > proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively
    > filling the empty space between the sand.
    >
    > The students laughed.
    >
    > "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
    > recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the
    > important things - your family, your partner, your health, your
    > children--things that if everything else was lost and only they
    > remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other
    > things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is
    > everything else. The small stuff."
    >
    > "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no
    room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you
    spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room
    > for the things that are important to you.
    >
    > "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
    Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your
    partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the
    house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
    >
    > "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set
    your priorities. The rest is just sand."
    >
    > One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer
    > represented.
    >
    > The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you
    that > no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a
    couple of beers."

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