Socialization: My odd attitudes (or not so odd)

ANTMrox · 11-22-2004, 03:41 AM

Hopefully a few of you can relate to this so I don't feel so alone. When it comes to socializing, I have a really fast "breaking point". At my breaking point I know I've had enough and I just want to spend time by myself and exit the social situation.

My breaking point comes very very fast, too fast for most people. Sometimes even one hour of hanging out is too much for me. My feeling is most people tend to OVER socialize (especially needy people) and I have disdain for that type of excess. When I'm questioned about my preferences to go home early I get a little angry because I usually say "There's no WHY about it, it's a statement not a discussion." It's like people can't accept that they only get X amount of my time and no more. Tough cookies I say. I don't demand time from people so I don't see why they demand from me. I also tend to attract needy people (bees and honey) because i'm mentally strong. I don't know is anyone out there like me?

Google · Sponsored Links

***John*** · 11-22-2004, 08:44 AM

I'm not sure if you're talking just a general social situation or actually being with friends, but I would hope that you actually invest some time with your friends, even if it means doing something that YOU would rather not be doing. But maybe not.

famita · 11-22-2004, 10:37 AM

When I'm in a new situation with new people, I try to get a feeling about how they. With my friends and family, I'm there for the duration. I even go shopping with my sisters and mom...and I HATE to shop!! I make a list, mark off when I find the item, and leave when my list is complete. My sisters and mom browse for hours ( and that's no exaggeration!!!!).
Antmrox, I'm hoping you're not that way with the ones close to you. Perhaps the people that you feel are "needy" just really like you and like to be around. And maybe you should limit yourself from social settings. Who knows.

happydude · 11-22-2004, 10:44 AM

I'm also a person who tires of a social scene much quicker than would be considered "normal." I don't mean to be rude, and I think most people who know me realize that. I am uncomfortable in social situations, especially if it involves meeting new people. That's one thing I love about socializing with my computer...I'm in the comfort of my own home, and I can leave whenever I want.

Yellow Apple · 11-22-2004, 11:58 AM

I'm antisocial. I prefer being a legend in my own world than have to be a nobody in the real world.

Seriously, most of the time it seems like too much effort is required to make new friends, and when you're as lazy as I am, that's not a good thing...

Duxxy · 11-22-2004, 03:46 PM

I frikkin LOVE to socialize.. especially if there are beverages involved!! BUT - when that clock strikes pumpkin time and I'm tired - I go home. No if's and's or but's. I don't buckle to peer pressure, if you won't give me a ride I'll call a cab, no I'm not mad, nothing set me off, I'm ready to go home. period.
My girlfriends in college didn't know what to make of it.. because no one goes home before the end. right?? I make sure I say goodnight to whom ever I came with and then *poof* I'm gone whether they are ready or not.

Broadway · 11-22-2004, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANTMrox

My feeling is most people tend to OVER socialize (especially needy people) and I have disdain for that type of excess. When I'm questioned about my preferences to go home early I get a little angry because I usually say "There's no WHY about it, it's a statement not a discussion." It's like people can't accept that they only get X amount of my time and no more. Tough cookies I say. I don't demand time from people so I don't see why they demand from me. I also tend to attract needy people

Hmmm... rox.. I'm sure it's just the way it comes across in your post, but...it seems you're doing the same reverse labeling to others that they are supposedly doing to you. People that like to *oversocialize* are not necessarily needy, nor are those that want to spend more time with you. Hopefully your disdain doesn't show, but I have a feeling that it does.

I would hope at this point that you've told your friends that your short socialization window isn't because of them, and that you don't give them the "tough cookies" answer. If so, I would think their desire to spend time with you will wane.

I'm like Duxxy: I love to socialize but I definitely have my limits and I'll leave when I want to, whether it's 10pm or 2am. When I'm done, I'm done, but I definitely don't show the scorn towards my friends that your post suggests that you do. You may call it "mentally strong", but it's coming across here as rude.

But again, I know that it's just a post and I'm sure you don't mean it that way.

Mellon · 11-22-2004, 05:39 PM

Duxxy - you say goodnight??

I too love to socialize, but it's usually done with family & friends at a weekend get together that lasts the whole weekend. I'm not a drinker and I'm also an early riser so after the first time I was given a hard time for calling it a night earlier than 4AM, I decided it's easier just to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and quietly turn in!

Works like a charm every time!

Texicana · 11-22-2004, 07:34 PM

*commits Duxxy and Broadway's partying habits to memory*

All I'll say on this is that if you are ready to go, then leave. Far better to do that, than inflict moodiness or a "tough cookies, who needs ya" attitude on those who you consider friends.

EvaLaruefan · 11-23-2004, 09:21 AM

I'm a very sociable person and I like hanging out with people. The only time I prefer to be alone is when I'm home and the kids have to nap, it's easier if noone is around and when sharing a hotel room with someone, I get a little annoyed after a couple of days especially if our schedules are different and if it takes the other person an eternity to get ready.

11-22-2004, 03:41 AM	#1
ANTMrox FORT Fogey Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,040	Socialization: My odd attitudes (or not so odd) Hopefully a few of you can relate to this so I don't feel so alone. When it comes to socializing, I have a really fast "breaking point". At my breaking point I know I've had enough and I just want to spend time by myself and exit the social situation. My breaking point comes very very fast, too fast for most people. Sometimes even one hour of hanging out is too much for me. My feeling is most people tend to OVER socialize (especially needy people) and I have disdain for that type of excess. When I'm questioned about my preferences to go home early I get a little angry because I usually say "There's no WHY about it, it's a statement not a discussion." It's like people can't accept that they only get X amount of my time and no more. Tough cookies I say. I don't demand time from people so I don't see why they demand from me. I also tend to attract needy people (bees and honey) because i'm mentally strong. I don't know is anyone out there like me?

11-22-2004, 11:58 AM	#5
Yellow Apple So Far Away Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: She'll be there when I'm gone... won't she? Posts: 2,427	I'm antisocial. I prefer being a legend in my own world than have to be a nobody in the real world. Seriously, most of the time it seems like too much effort is required to make new friends, and when you're as lazy as I am, that's not a good thing... __________________ R.I.P Willie Dog (?/?/1989-12/17/2004). Gone but never forgotten. Welcome Zelda (and a hot of other names)! (Born 08/08/2005, adopted 10/08/2005) Also welcome Shasta! (Born ?/?/2004, Adopted 03/??/07)

11-22-2004, 03:46 PM	#6
Duxxy Wash your damn hands Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: looking for a deal on evilBay Posts: 5,318	I frikkin LOVE to socialize.. especially if there are beverages involved!! BUT - when that clock strikes pumpkin time and I'm tired - I go home. No if's and's or but's. I don't buckle to peer pressure, if you won't give me a ride I'll call a cab, no I'm not mad, nothing set me off, I'm ready to go home. period. My girlfriends in college didn't know what to make of it.. because no one goes home before the end. right?? I make sure I say goodnight to whom ever I came with and then poof I'm gone whether they are ready or not. __________________ Wash Your Hands!! Keep the world healthy.

11-22-2004, 05:39 PM	#8
Mellon Wishing for spring Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Toronto, Canada Age: 33 Posts: 583	Duxxy - you say goodnight?? I too love to socialize, but it's usually done with family & friends at a weekend get together that lasts the whole weekend. I'm not a drinker and I'm also an early riser so after the first time I was given a hard time for calling it a night earlier than 4AM, I decided it's easier just to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and quietly turn in! Works like a charm every time! __________________ Buffy: What is this? Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too. ("Gingerbread") Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey! ("Buffy vs. Dracula")

11-22-2004, 07:34 PM	#9
Texicana Rude and Abrasive Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: in the kitchen, darling! Age: 38 Posts: 4,844	commits Duxxy and Broadway's partying habits to memory All I'll say on this is that if you are ready to go, then leave. Far better to do that, than inflict moodiness or a "tough cookies, who needs ya" attitude on those who you consider friends. __________________ " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

11-22-2004, 08:44 AM	#2
*John* The race is back! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: On the mat Age: 38 Posts: 40,428 Blog Entries: 1	I'm not sure if you're talking just a general social situation or actually being with friends, but I would hope that you actually invest some time with your friends, even if it means doing something that YOU would rather not be doing. But maybe not.

11-22-2004, 10:37 AM	#3
famita FORT Fogey Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2,412	When I'm in a new situation with new people, I try to get a feeling about how they. With my friends and family, I'm there for the duration. I even go shopping with my sisters and mom...and I HATE to shop!! I make a list, mark off when I find the item, and leave when my list is complete. My sisters and mom browse for hours ( and that's no exaggeration!!!!). Antmrox, I'm hoping you're not that way with the ones close to you. Perhaps the people that you feel are "needy" just really like you and like to be around. And maybe you should limit yourself from social settings. Who knows.

11-22-2004, 10:44 AM	#4
happydude FORT Regular Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Capital City Age: 36 Posts: 102	I'm also a person who tires of a social scene much quicker than would be considered "normal." I don't mean to be rude, and I think most people who know me realize that. I am uncomfortable in social situations, especially if it involves meeting new people. That's one thing I love about socializing with my computer...I'm in the comfort of my own home, and I can leave whenever I want.

11-23-2004, 09:21 AM	#10
EvaLaruefan Hockey is life! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Montreal,Canada Age: 34 Posts: 3,172	I'm a very sociable person and I like hanging out with people. The only time I prefer to be alone is when I'm home and the kids have to nap, it's easier if noone is around and when sharing a hotel room with someone, I get a little annoyed after a couple of days especially if our schedules are different and if it takes the other person an eternity to get ready.