Socialization: My odd attitudes (or not so odd)

[Jewelsy]

Originally Posted by Duxxy

I frikkin LOVE to socialize.. especially if there are beverages involved!! BUT - when that clock strikes pumpkin time and I'm tired - I go home. No if's and's or but's. I don't buckle to peer pressure, if you won't give me a ride I'll call a cab, no I'm not mad, nothing set me off, I'm ready to go home. period.
My girlfriends in college didn't know what to make of it.. because no one goes home before the end. right?? I make sure I say goodnight to whom ever I came with and then *poof* I'm gone whether they are ready or not.

I'm the same way, Dux. All my friends and family know that Jewels' "pumpkin time" can occur at any moment. I say my goodbyes and leave. NO hard feelings. NO snotty comments.

[Google]

 

[nausicaa]

Well, first of all, it depends on if the people you're socializing with are friends, acquaintances, or strangers. And second of all, I think it depends on what kind of conversation y'all are having.

I'm a moiler myself, and I reach my threshhold pretty fast as well, but usually I try to be accomodating if it's my friends I'm talking to, and if it's an earnest discussion we're having and not just something trivial like "saw this on X show last night" or "need to up my prescription of Accutane" or whatever. :rolleyes

I figure the occasional sacrifice of my time is a small price to pay for friends who will be there for me when I'm in need.

[Duxxy]

I'm floored at the number of people that view socializing as sacrifice.
It's a privilege to have friends, and if you want to keep them you'd better treat them right.

[nausicaa]

But socializing can be a sacrifice for introverts who - despite the old adage "all beings are social animals" - are, often times than not, just as happy to be alone. It's not about being selfish or ungrateful. Friends are great, but everyone's tolerance level for schmoozing or whatnot is different, and you invest your time wisely according to your tolerance level, and you get the expected returns, not to mention the expected magnitude of friends.

[sleepysluggo]

I consider myself an introvert. There are many days where after a long day, all I wanna do is lock myself away from the rest of the world.

However, there are times where I feel a need to be social, to be with others and to have a good time. In those instances my cut-off time tends to go a long way. When I do have to leave, I do it graciously.

It may be better to not be social at all then to be social for a short period of time, then cut everyone off.

[J.D.]

I actually enjoy my own company. I can entertain myself just fine, thank you. But when it comes to parties - I'm that rude guest who is the first to arrive and last to leave. I ain't going home 'til that last box of wine is drained.

[roseskid]

J.D., I'm with you as far as being comfortable with myself. I am one of those lucky people, who seems pretty content, no matter what. I'm perfectly fine being alone in the house, and just as perfectly fine being at a large gathering of friends and/or family, talking up a storm. I love to discover fun aspects of others around me. I think people in general are fascinating, and I haven't met too many people I did not get along with. I love helping the host/hostess in the kitchen, and appreciate how much time and effort people put into parties, etc. I've got a raucous laugh, too, which at the next Fortcon you'll all be treated to hearing....you lucky dogs.

However, when I'm ready to go....I go. I say goodnight to everyone, thank those who hosted, and I'm off.

[Burntcrow]

Originally Posted by ANTMrox

Hopefully a few of you can relate to this so I don't feel so alone. When it comes to socializing, I have a really fast "breaking point". At my breaking point I know I've had enough and I just want to spend time by myself and exit the social situation.

My breaking point comes very very fast, too fast for most people. Sometimes even one hour of hanging out is too much for me. My feeling is most people tend to OVER socialize (especially needy people) and I have disdain for that type of excess. When I'm questioned about my preferences to go home early I get a little angry because I usually say "There's no WHY about it, it's a statement not a discussion." It's like people can't accept that they only get X amount of my time and no more. Tough cookies I say. I don't demand time from people so I don't see why they demand from me. I also tend to attract needy people (bees and honey) because i'm mentally strong. I don't know is anyone out there like me?

Hopefully this won't turn your friends away from you. If I had a friend who did this to me often, I would say, well fine, have your time, forever.

Maybe your friends are not needy, perhaps they just like being around you?
It could be there are some underlying issues in your life that cause you to be this way, who knows. Good Luck.

Edit: by the way, I hope I didn't come off as a butt. I was just trying to analyze your situation. I know my friends usually get tired of that person who always leaves early or never comes around often enough to the point that they just stop inviting them over.

[veejer]

This thread seems the best fit for my question about entertaining. Do people not reciprocate invitations anymore? Or are the veejers just pariahs?

I was just thinking about how the only times in the past few years that we have been invited to friends' houses has been for open houses (graduations, weddings) or because of a group that we are in (Church, music). We've had people over here, not dinner parties, but more casual. Desserts and board games, a pizza party for the premier of TAR All-Stars. And not once have we been reciprocally invited to anyone else's house.

Maybe another question would be, do people not entertain in their homes anymore, except for the holidays? I sure don't hear gatherings in the neighborhood during the summer like I did in the distant past.

[remote_goddess]

veejer, I know what you mean. I don't really have any advise on it, but I can relate... It seems that when I am around my friends and co-workers, if something comes up about getting together, I am the one who issues the invitation. I can't tell you how many times a favorite TV show or movie will come up in conversation and we'll talk about how we should have a "watch party", only to have nothing come of it unless I am the one hosting. Or a barbeque, or a dinner party, or whatever. Even just a simple evening of cards and music and drinks would never happen if not at my house!

One really great thing I do have is a neighborhood full of social people! My street alone has about 8 families with children close to the same age, so they all play together in and out of everyone's house and yard... and so the parents have all gotten to know each other quite well. We have summer barbeques all the time where one of us will just start grilling and everyone will pitch in for sides and drinks and we'll gather at the designated back yard for dinner. Mostly it's always outside gatherings, but ocassionally the merry-making will carry over to an evening of drinks/socializing inside someone's house.

I love to host, but it is always nice not to have that responsibility.