+ Reply to Thread
Like Tree818Likes

Thread: Share your good news

  1. #3991
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: Share your good news

    Steph,

    I know at your age (and I don't mean that as a put down, but having once been a teen and remembering what its like, I can say that. ), its hard to see our friends take different paths.

    My very best friend in the entire world got married 2 weeks after we graduated from HS and I left the day after her wedding to go to college.
    I started crying as I was walking down the aisle and heard later that the congregation in the church could barely hear the minister over my sobs. I cried through the reception and the after party as well.

    My whole life was changing, she was starting a new life with her husband, I was going off 200 miles away to college and I thought I'd NEVER have the close relationship with her I had had in HS. Well, I didn't. But the relationship evolved over the years and I can say that even though we don't see each other as often, when we get together, its like we've never been apart. We have now been friends for 31 years! And I envision us staying friends at least that much more.

    I currently have another friend that is starting a new chapter in her life. I'm not sure that I agree with her decision, but she is so estatically happy, that I find it very hard not to catch that enthusiasm when I talk to her. She's happy, so therefore, I am happy for her and I keep my reservations to myself, because I now know that to voice them, would alienate her. I just want her to be happy. And that's a hard thing to learn.

    My own daughter has made decisions that disappointed me. Not that they were bad decisions, but I had MY own plans for her life and she quite rightly had her own mind about what she wanted to do. Accepting that her decisions were right for her (and they were) and being happy for her about them was THE hardest thing I've ever done (well there have been 1 or 2 other really hard things, but this ranks up there). But I had to be happy for her, even if I had to convince myself over and over in my mind (I will be happy, I will be happy, I WILL be happy) because I want her to know that I support her in most things. (not some of the boneheaded things, but she's proven time and again that what is right for her, isn't necessarily what would have been right for me at that same age).

    I KNOW (believe me I know, I still have my memory of when this was said to me and I've said it to my own kid), that growing up is hard. And adults typically don't fully understand or have forgotten what its like. But here is the over used, trite part of my speech: You have to learn to accept your friends and their decisions even if its not something you'd do or you think they should do. It's their life and if you want them to remain your friends, you have got to learn to let a lot of this stuff just go. Quit hanging on to some of this baggage. Believe, me, I pulled massive baggage around with me for years, before finally deciding to get rid of it. So just try to be happy for him and if you can't, then pretend. Because sometimes, we all have to plaster that darn smile on our face whether we like it or not, or we end up ruining the best day of someone's life (like I did at my friends wedding by crying like a baby for 4 hours).

    You are a very smart, mature girl and I realize that part of what you are going through is the learning process we all did as we become teens, young adults and adults.

    And I'm not discounting the fears you have for your friend. We are at war, but he's got at least 4 years before he graduates from Annapolis, but he's entering a career that does carry risks. But so do a few million others. Firefighters, police,etc. And he's standing up for his country and believe me, that is a very brave and selfless thing to do and I applaud this young man, because I know that he's doing something I would have never dared to do at that age (or any age). I admire and respect anyone that not only becomes a part of this country's military, but has the skills, leadership ability and brains to get an appointment to one of our service acadamies and apparantly what it takes to become part of the elite SEALS. And the guts. AND he's doing what it is he wants to do and believe me, I bet from a show of hands here that not a lot of us ever get the opportunities to REALLY do what it is we WANT to do, but rather settle for what we need to do or have to do.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  2. #3992
    I Is Stephanie
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Age
    22
    Posts
    1,037

    Re: Share your good news

    Thank you so much MRD. Seriously.

    BUt I'm bringing the mood of this board down. This is the good news thread, and I managed to turn it into a cryfest abut my best friend leaving. That's not right. So someone, please, give us some really good news!
    ...And the strange boy continued to weave in and out of her life, leaving her with a sense of wonder and amazment, but also, a feeling of loss, knowing that life might never be the same again.

  3. #3993
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Nap Time
    Posts
    13,567

    Re: Share your good news

    OK, I just spent a really wonderful day in the garden. I have a hard time dragging myself out there, but once I'm there, I love digging around, pulling out weeds, planting new things. I got my two new dwarf, weeping, rug junipers in on the far side of my perennial garden that I can see from my favorite chair inside and it ties everything together. I know this should probably go in the gardening thread, but after spending the last two summers fighting cancer, it really feels great to be out there manhandling things back into shape. The kids had gotten me a little lilac bush for mother's day a couple of years ago and it was completely surrounded by black raspberries, which I love. I started carefully and judiciously pulling them away from the lilac and realized I would have to do a full-scale massacre on the berries if I wanted the lilac to thrive. Then it occured to me I could just move the lilac to a better place. So yea! That's what I'll do tomorrow.
    Count your blessings!

  4. #3994
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    In the Kat House in Kanada
    Posts
    7,704

    Re: Share your good news

    stephanie: Looks like you got some great adivce!

    Gutmutter: I think it's great news that you can enjoy your gardening so much now. It sucks to be sick and not have the energy to do what you love and enjoy!
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  5. #3995
    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Age
    45
    Posts
    4,923

    Re: Share your good news

    Quote Originally Posted by JLuvs;2368898;
    Stephanie - I can understand your mixed feelings on this, but I applaud you for trying to be happy for your friend.

    I am going to see RENT on Sunday
    OH JLUVS!!! Please PM me ALL the details! I've seen it on broadway 3 times and off broadway once (the Benny cast).

    It's such an amazing show - I cry every time!! Have a BLAST!!!

  6. #3996
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,854

    Re: Share your good news

    Quote Originally Posted by 11sstephanie;2370682;
    Thank you so much MRD. Seriously.

    BUt I'm bringing the mood of this board down. This is the good news thread, and I managed to turn it into a cryfest abut my best friend leaving. That's not right. So someone, please, give us some really good news!
    OK, good news, got my final exam written EARLY!! (I"m giving it, not taking it) Now I just need to get off FORT and finish grading those term papers!
    And then for once I won't be late turning my grades in.
    One question about your friend, 11ssteph, because I don't know much about the military---does he do the SEAL thing after Annapolis or before? If after, maybe, as mrd says, by then we'll be out of Iraq---and historically it's usually 20+ years between big wars with this country. Not that people aren't killed in the "little wars" like Somalia or Gulf War I, as I call it, but it's a much safer time to be in the military.
    So don't forget to keep in touch with supportive letters...even though he may be too exhausted to write much---from all I've read the first year at the military academies are just plain hell and leave you almost no spare time or physical energy. And, as you say, who knows what may happen down the road. But for it to be a good thing, as mrd said, for now you've got to paste that fake smile on and write the cheery and interested letters, and let him be him. If you were married or otherwise involved it would obviously be wrong for him to make such a life changing decision w/o considering your feelings, but...for now he's definitely got to follow his dreams.

    ETA Thanks for being so positive about our advice!! No wonder we all think you are so smart!
    Last edited by PWS; 05-06-2007 at 04:51 PM.

  7. #3997
    I Is Stephanie
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Age
    22
    Posts
    1,037

    Re: Share your good news

    That is great news, PWS! And who says you need to get off the FoRT? Right now, I'm doing 2 homework assignments, checking on the status of Craig's graduation gift, messaging 2 people, and listening to music. Of course, I'm not really paying attention to any of them...

    He SEAL trains for 4-5 years, which is almost as dangerous as actually being in combat, then, upon graduation, he's in the program for a tleast 4 year. He's been saying that he's going to do a 20-year tour, I've been saying we'll see about that after the first 4 years. I doubt he'll actually go through with it. What's scaring me is that only 22% of people who go into SEALs make it past the first week, and if I know Craig, he'll be one of those 22%. I haven't said anything to him yet, and actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I actually congradulated him on getting into Annapolis. Have to do that soon! Bu before I start writing a million letters, I have to write the good-bye card! It's going to be about a thousand pages long, in a size 8 font. This should be interesting.
    ...And the strange boy continued to weave in and out of her life, leaving her with a sense of wonder and amazment, but also, a feeling of loss, knowing that life might never be the same again.

  8. #3998
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Iowa
    Age
    55
    Posts
    3,577

    Re: Share your good news

    I'm not one to buy lottery tickets usually. But today I bought one, scratched it and won $3. Instead of taking the 3 bucks I bought another ticket. A $3 ticket called "lucky 3's" or something like that. Well, I won $3,333!!!

    Too bad I have so many bills that need to be caught up. But I bet I can think of a couple of things to buy for myself.
    When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "Happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life. - John Lennon

  9. #3999
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    salt lake city ut
    Age
    43
    Posts
    19,182

    Re: Share your good news

    Congrats, lilbit! That's dang cool.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  10. #4000
    FORT Fogey katgib13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    41
    Posts
    1,514

    Re: Share your good news

    Awesome! Even if you just pay bills...that is still a nice windfall! Woot!

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.