My prayers are with her GA.
My prayers are with her GA.
GuardianAngel, my thoughts are with your friend. She has a tough battle ahead.
I'll pray for them both and for you for being there to bring them strength and comfort.Quote:
Originally Posted by GuardianAngel;4187275;
Of course I will join the others with their prayers. It must be bad if they're going with a mastectomy. My doctor told me those are almost never necessary anymore. Some women choose them to be on the safe side. If you want to give her my contact info (breast cancer survivor) PM me. I highly recommend that she join a support group at some point. You could even scout one out for her. We get friends and family at our group all the time.
Spoken like a truly loving wife, she must be a great person and friend :nodQuote:
Originally Posted by GuardianAngel;4187275;
Did she say what the size of the lump is? Did she feel it? Have they determined if it's spread?
Prayed for her healing, comfort, and strength. The "why her" or me or anyone is the hardest when you're younger. Even if we live to be 100, it's just a whisper in God's time. My prayer is that she's merely going through a trial and a test, and that she'll come through it being stronger, happier, closer to God perhaps... refined through the fire as they say. Sometimes adversity brings us closer to God, and I believe sometimes that's the reason for it. One thing's certain regardless...He'll never desert us.
Keep us posted on her progress!
Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers. She has such a positive outlook, a very strong faith in God, always has. She is joking a lot, which is almost uncomfortable, maybe someone can give me their thoughts on that. Maybe that's her way of getting through this or her way of making her family and friends not be concerned ?
Gut: Thanks for your suggestion. I spoke to her tonight, and told her to check out support groups, they will be helpfull, she mentioned she doesn't know what questions to ask, they keep asking her if she has any questions and she can't think of any. I told her its possible her mind is clouded with so many things, she's not thinking straight. She also told me she is going for more ultra sounds tomorrow, and they want to do an abdoman one as well. I asked her why, she didn't know, she just agreed and said OK. She then said she noticed her collarbone appears to be swollen, same side as the breast that will be removed so they will check that at the same time, I said well that's good they are being thorough :shrug She is taking it all in stride, again I don't know if its an act of strength for those around her. I think all your prayers help me when I'm talking to her, because I don't know how I come up with the positive re-assuring words, but somehow I do.
I did some googling after I got the news, and yes, everything I read, said that mastectomies are rare these days. She is having the surgery on Tuesday and will be home Wednesday with a nurse going to her home everyday for a check up etc. The strange thing, maybe its not strange, she looks and feels great. How is that possible?
Thanks Sugar: I just saw your post. Its the size of a golfball, she noticed the lump, you can see it. :( I don't know if they determined if it spread, I didn't want to ask, and she didn't say that.
Regarding why she's joking: a combination of denial and what you said, trying to not worry her family and friends. "Whistling through the graveyard" as they say.Quote:
Originally Posted by GuardianAngel;4189077;
I hate to say this. The size of a golf ball is HUGE for a breast lump. The swelling around the collarbone is worrysome. The fact that they're doing a mastectomy indicates that they've determined it's cancer, not just a benign mass. If it's cancer and it's that size, it's been there a while and has more than likely spread. She's got a rough road ahead of her. She probably senses this, and is trying to focus on the positive in her laughing and joking.
Have they done a full body scan yet? If they haven't, they will after the surgery to determine where the cancer could have spread. Then the hard part comes. So sorry, I hope I'm wrong.
How did it get this big????? Usually it's found before that. My understanding that a lump the size of a quarter is Stage IV at the best.
Sugar: Those are all the things I've been thinking about, and that has kept me awake. Unfortunately I don't think she went for regular examinations, or had self examinations, or has been in denial because you can clearly see the lump. I hope we are both wrong. :(
Originally Posted by GuardianAngel;4189191;
It's a tough call. I've known a lot of women who've been through this, and I can share two extremes.
1) My grandmother never had a mammogram (they were newfangled back then in 1980). But she felt a lump. She was scared, so in her denial she ignored it. It kept growing. She reached a point then when she was embarrassed to go to the doctor because she'd ignored it. Finally she felt it separate into two pieces. She went. Mastectomy. They said they thought they'd gotten it all and recommended chemotherapy (which in those days was akin to medieval torture!). She denied it. She died two years later.
2) My friend had regular, annual mammograms and also did monthly self-exams. She stayed on top of things. Six months after one mammogram, she felt a lump about the size of a pea. Immediately went to the doctor, and when they went to do an ultrasound, she pointed out the lump was more between the breast and armpit...they'd not have seen it. After a painful needle biopsy, they determined it was cancer (remember, it was 6 months after a mammogram). So they scheduled surgery. Before surgery they did this really high-level scan to mark the exact spot of the cancer. The radiologist was shown the scan by the surgeon and said he noticed another area in the breast that "looked funny" and he insisted they biopsy that area, too. They did, and it was another kind of cancer, didn't show up on anything and could've easily been missed! She had a lumpectomy, radiation, and some chemo...5 years and she's still cancer free and they expect she will be.
I guess the point is even the most diligent of us can have crap like this happen. But when it does, we have to get help ASAP. And no one is denied cancer care because even those I've known without insurance have received treatment through charaties and endowments and cancer centers and hospitals. America is good! God is good! Crap happens, and we deal with it and trust in Him to make it worthwhile.
I just hope your friend doesn't blame herself if she felt that lump and waited too long...that can cause her a LOT of unneccessary guilt and grief.
Your friend was very lucky to have such a good and insistent radiologist, SM--I know in the doctor hierarchy that can sometimes be a tough row to hoe.
Wow, GA, that big and you can see it, one almost has to also wonder where her husband was in all this...he didn't notice it? Really, it is a role husbands can play...and might even enjoy :) ...helping with the self exams. Who knows of course, maybe he'd been urging her to get it looked at for ages. I know it's taken me at least 6 mo. to get my Sig. Other to get a possible skin thing checked out, and that's only likely to be a basal cell. Finally has an appt.
I agree with what everyone's written so far, sadly...not looking good, but hoping we are all wrong. I"m sure her strength is helping her family....one good thing about the support groups is that they can also help her with what questions to ask. It sounds as if you are being a good friend to her--I"m sure she'll need you more and more over the next weeks and months of treatment.