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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #9701
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Yay Victor! Happy New Year! Does this mean he can continue treatments?
    Count your blessings!

  2. #9702
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Great news Bug!
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #9703
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    That is great news Bug. I hope Victor continues to do well.

    BlondeOne - I have to say that I hate, hate, hate men like your boys father. They make the situation worse for all the good dads out there who are fighting to be a part of their kids lives. Kids aren't stupid though. They see and know what's going on. My granddaughter is 4 and last weekend she said to my son, "Mommy says that Sean (her boyfriend) is our real dad, but he's not... you are." My son just said, "yes, I am." Then Alexis said, kind of to herself, "Mommy lies a lot." We just changed the subject, but it makes me so sad that those precious girls have to go through this.

    Seeing a lawyer is the best option. I'm not sure what the laws in your state are, but I think by the time a child is 13 or 14 the judge takes the child's wishes into consideration. Good luck, and try not to let it dwell on your mind too much. I know... easier said than done, but this guy doesn't seem like he's worth the space he's taking up in your mind.
    When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "Happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life. - John Lennon

  4. #9704
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    First of all HUGS TO BUGS!!!!! I pray all will be well and for a complete healing.

    DragonLady...I believe that everything you say is true. The key words being too much EFFORT. When I got the last text telling me he was going to call DCFS I stopped texting back. That drives him more crazy than me trying to argue with him, and he thinks he "won" then. Lil Bit...I agree 100% that "men" like him ruin it for the real men out there. My DD Dad is wonderful and one of my best friends. My BF and him get along great, they even by each other Christmas gifts. LOL Your Granddaughter sounds like a smart girl. You are right that he doesn't deserve the space in my head. I am off to clean the Christmas tornado. Just in case DCFS is called, my house will be sparkling. Well, at least you will be able to see the loveseat and dining room table. LOL
    No matter what he tries to pull I am beyond grateful that I have my boys.

  5. #9705
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Bug,

    Great news re; Victor. And, the sun is shining today - for him and his great courage, no doubt. And yours, too, which goes without saying.

    Blond One,

    Sounds like you've raised 2 fine boys in spite of him. Try to focus on them and not let him bring you down.
    To Thine Own Self Be True

  6. #9706
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Bug, I'm glad Victor is feeling much better. I know this time of year is probably especially hard for your family

    BlondeOne, I'm like Dragonlady--let a lawyer handle it. You were 'friends' on Facebook anyway--why? (rhetorical question there, sorry) Since he doesn't ever pay anyway, why bother talking to him at all. As for his family 'having money', going to jail
    six times trumps that big time in most people's eyes, including judges. And apparently, the family does NOT give him enough money to get him a good enough lawyer to keep him out of there. I say let DFCS come every day if they like, give 'em a cookie and don't worry about it. And don't worry about 'whining' here, as long as you don't overdo it That's what this thread is for, and we all come here to gripe sometimes.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  7. #9707
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by queenb;4134742;
    Bug, I'm glad Victor is feeling much better. I know this time of year is probably especially hard for your family

    BlondeOne, I'm like Dragonlady--let a lawyer handle it. You were 'friends' on Facebook anyway--why? (rhetorical question there, sorry) Since he doesn't ever pay anyway, why bother talking to him at all. As for his family 'having money', going to jail
    six times trumps that big time in most people's eyes, including judges. And apparently, the family does NOT give him enough money to get him a good enough lawyer to keep him out of there. I say let DFCS come every day if they like, give 'em a cookie and don't worry about it. And don't worry about 'whining' here, as long as you don't overdo it That's what this thread is for, and we all come here to gripe sometimes.
    I was "friends" on FB so I could see what he was doing...like when he got his new truck I printed the pictures and gave them to the judge. LOL He thinks he has me blocked so I will let him think that. Also, so I could monitor what he was saying to my son.
    I got everything pretty much cleaned up and mopped all the floors just for good measure. DCFS can live here for all I care. They would get bored and move on to children with real problems in life. That family has so much money they don't know what to do with it. They just hoard it. It is fine. My kids know the real meaning of happiness and it sure isn't money!! I am over it at this point. Thank you guys SO much. The cleaning helped and I have no kids tomorrow night so I am now trying to think of something for us to do that keeps us up until midnight. ROFL. We don't drink much in this house so probably lots of yummy food and movies.

  8. #9708
    Vidiot 13 is a Winner Champion Poppy Fields's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeOne;4134206;
    I am having troubles with my two Son's sperm donor. Has has pretty much not ever been a part of their lives because of always being "on vacation" He has battery charges against him from about 5-7 years ago from touching my youngest son. He has been out of prison for a little over 1 1/2 years and is now trying to see them once in a while. I told him that he is welcome to come to my city and see them somewhere where we can meet and he is now furious because that is not what our visitation agreement is. My thinking is...you will never see these boys alone again. I am not sure if a 5-7 year old charge is going to help me get supervised visits or not. His family has A LOT of money. He actually got an inheritance this year and his family set it up so child support can not touch it since he is 26,000 behind. He does not call them ever or try to get ahold of them in any other way. He did not bother to call them on Christmas. I have had the same phone number for a long time. I am so sick of all of it and wish he would just stay away. My oldest wants nothing to do with him or any of the family. My youngest goes back and forth. They are 14 and 13 by the way. If anyone has any experience with this and can help me stay mature with all of it that would be great. It is not about the money...even if he paid his child support as is court ordered I would still not want them around him without a neutral party there. He is one of those people that you know he is lying because his mouth is open. Thank you for letting me vent
    I don't know where he lives, but you can get that $26,000 in back child support reduced to a judgment against him in your state court. It will show on any judgment index search and his credit will be zilch if he does not satisfy the judgment. It may be awhile before he applies for a mortgage (or a re-fi of one), or a car loan, but the judgment will show up if he does.

    I don't know why he was in prison, but if if his conviction was for a violent crime I think you are dead to rights in insisting on supervised visits with your adolescent sons, until a court tells you otherwise.

    I understand that you may feel powerless, but you are not. At least get that back child support reduced to a judgment. You may be surprised at how little that will cost you. And, eventually it will be paid.
    "Blessed is the lonesome pioneer." -- Judee Sill (1973, "There's a Rugged Road")

  9. #9709
    FORT Fan BlondeOne's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppy Fields;4134759;
    I don't know where he lives, but you can get that $26,000 in back child support reduced to a judgment against him in your state court. It will show on any judgment index search and his credit will be zilch if he does not satisfy the judgment. It may be awhile before he applies for a mortgage (or a re-fi of one), or a car loan, but the judgment will show up if he does.

    I don't know why he was in prison, but if if his conviction was for a violent crime I think you are dead to rights in insisting on supervised visits with your adolescent sons, until a court tells you otherwise.

    I understand that you may feel powerless, but you are not. At least get that back child support reduced to a judgment. You may be surprised at how little that will cost you. And, eventually it will be paid.
    I am not positive but pretty sure that Illinois does that automatically. I know it shows up on his credit report. His truck is in his mommy's name. As well as the house he lives in. They consulted a lawyer about that to make sure the state couldn't try and make him sell it for arrears.

    He was in prison both times for drugs. Enough said. I have that paperwork as well. I went to the florida corrections website and printed it all out. Mugshot and all. There are other charges as well but I am not sure what those are. A judge would know.

  10. #9710
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeOne;4134744;
    I was "friends" on FB so I could see what he was doing...like when he got his new truck I printed the pictures and gave them to the judge. LOL He thinks he has me blocked so I will let him think that. Also, so I could monitor what he was saying to my son.
    I got everything pretty much cleaned up and mopped all the floors just for good measure. DCFS can live here for all I care. They would get bored and move on to children with real problems in life. That family has so much money they don't know what to do with it. They just hoard it. It is fine. My kids know the real meaning of happiness and it sure isn't money!! I am over it at this point. Thank you guys SO much. The cleaning helped and I have no kids tomorrow night so I am now trying to think of something for us to do that keeps us up until midnight. ROFL. We don't drink much in this house so probably lots of yummy food and movies.
    It sounds like you're doing everything right. Live your life the best you can, take care of your boys and you have nothing to worry about. What could DCFS possibly do if all is ok in your family?? Mr. Spermdonor has got too many bad marks against him to be able to cause you any problems w/the boys. Not paying support he'll get away with for awhile but not forever. But even if he does, you have the boys and you will teach them how not to go to jail and how to treat others, etc. That's what really counts in the long run.
    You can't fool kids, they always know the truth.

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