Talk about your troubles

[BlondeOne]

I am having troubles with my two Son's sperm donor. Has has pretty much not ever been a part of their lives because of always being "on vacation" He has battery charges against him from about 5-7 years ago from touching my youngest son. He has been out of prison for a little over 1 1/2 years and is now trying to see them once in a while. I told him that he is welcome to come to my city and see them somewhere where we can meet and he is now furious because that is not what our visitation agreement is. My thinking is...you will never see these boys alone again. I am not sure if a 5-7 year old charge is going to help me get supervised visits or not. His family has A LOT of money. He actually got an inheritance this year and his family set it up so child support can not touch it since he is 26,000 behind. He does not call them ever or try to get ahold of them in any other way. He did not bother to call them on Christmas. I have had the same phone number for a long time. I am so sick of all of it and wish he would just stay away. My oldest wants nothing to do with him or any of the family. My youngest goes back and forth. They are 14 and 13 by the way. If anyone has any experience with this and can help me stay mature with all of it that would be great. It is not about the money...even if he paid his child support as is court ordered I would still not want them around him without a neutral party there. He is one of those people that you know he is lying because his mouth is open. Thank you for letting me vent

[MRD]

This is a terrible situation and my heart goes out to you and your sons.

But quite honestly, you need to talk to a lawyer. While all of us here would love to give you great advice, we aren't qualified.

I know it can be expensive and it can appear daunting when the other party has "money", but your best bet is to get a lawyer, get the case before a judge and try to have supervised visitation set. If he received an inheritence, then that would be open records in probate court and you can probably get your lawyer to pull them and use those to get your back child support. AGain, I don't know all the laws and it does vary from state to state. But it is my understanding that in most states, if you don't pay court appointed child support, they can put you in jail.

This is definitely something you need expert legal advice on.

Good luck. I know it can't be easy.

[BlondeOne]

This is a terrible situation and my heart goes out to you and your sons.

But quite honestly, you need to talk to a lawyer. While all of us here would love to give you great advice, we aren't qualified.

I know it can be expensive and it can appear daunting when the other party has "money", but your best bet is to get a lawyer, get the case before a judge and try to have supervised visitation set. If he received an inheritence, then that would be open records in probate court and you can probably get your lawyer to pull them and use those to get your back child support. AGain, I don't know all the laws and it does vary from state to state. But it is my understanding that in most states, if you don't pay court appointed child support, they can put you in jail.

This is definitely something you need expert legal advice on.

Good luck. I know it can't be easy.

Thank you...I know all that. I guess sometimes we need to vent. It was just so much easier when he wanted nothing to do with them. He has been arrested about 6 times for non payment but it never does any good. He is used to being in jail. LOL He "unfriended" me from FB because I was always posting how he lied about sending child support and gifts, He didn't want any of his new friends to see the truth about him I guess. LOL I posted just a few months ago when he got his newest warrant and he said he would rather sit in jail then give me money. Ok sounds good to me. ROFL

[MRD]

Thank you...I know all that. I guess sometimes we need to vent. It was just so much easier when he wanted nothing to do with them. He has been arrested about 6 times for non payment but it never does any good. He is used to being in jail. LOL He "unfriended" me from FB because I was always posting how he lied about sending child support and gifts, He didn't want any of his new friends to see the truth about him I guess. LOL I posted just a few months ago when he got his newest warrant and he said he would rather sit in jail then give me money. Ok sounds good to me. ROFL

We all need to vent. But if it were me, I'd get a lawyer. They can garnish his wages for child support.
And the kids are old enough to tell the judge what they want too as far as visitation and custody.

It sucks. I'm so sorry you are going through this. But seriously, if it were me, I would stick it to him through the legal system. That way you will always be the better person and your kids will see that you fought for them and he did not,

[BlondeOne]

They don't garnish his wages because his mommy pays him cash so he doesn't have to claim income. He told me he will be calling DCFS to my house now. Go ahead, I have nothing to hide. I just get upset at myself that I let it take up so much head space. I was happily reading 1600 pages of Koffee Klatch on here and now I let him get to me. I am sure that nothing will come of it. Calling DCFS and going to the court house would be too much effort for him to do to see his kids. Thank you again and I will be talking to a lawyer very soon about it all. Come on tax time!!!!! ROFL
I am only on page 1410 of the other thread but I am hoping that your DD MIL situation has been better. Reading here is my "book" lately. I am a long time lurker and sometimes poster and love getting to know everyone. My BF sees the blue screen and says....how in the world can you read so much about other peoples lives. LOL

[BlondeOne]

I would also like to say that I have posted about something like this before and I am not trying to get pity. I know there are much worst situations out there. I just needed him out of my head for now. LOL He will drop it I am sure until about 3 months from now when he wants to show them off and say see how good of boys I have...Yeah, that is because I have raised them to be nothing like you!!!!!!!

[buglover]

Better news: We will probably be going home tomorrow. Victor has not had a fever in over 24hours and is looking and feeling much better than he was. I just stopped home to pick up hubby and then we are going back to visit for a few hours.

Thanks for the prayers!

[famita]

Bug, hoping the good karma continues!

BlondeOne-hoping you get closure. Sending good thoughts your way.

[Dragonlady]

They don't garnish his wages because his mommy pays him cash so he doesn't have to claim income. He told me he will be calling DCFS to my house now. Go ahead, I have nothing to hide. I just get upset at myself that I let it take up so much head space. I was happily reading 1600 pages of Koffee Klatch on here and now I let him get to me. I am sure that nothing will come of it. Calling DCFS and going to the court house would be too much effort for him to do to see his kids. Thank you again and I will be talking to a lawyer very soon about it all. Come on tax time!!!!! ROFL
I am only on page 1410 of the other thread but I am hoping that your DD MIL situation has been better. Reading here is my "book" lately. I am a long time lurker and sometimes poster and love getting to know everyone. My BF sees the blue screen and says....how in the world can you read so much about other peoples lives. LOL

I have dealt with somewhat similar situation. It's best to consult a lawyer but also just let time go by. Usually, these kinds of guys are more bark than bite and it'll be too much effort for him to really cause any problems. People like him enjoy making us worry, causing distress but usually don't do anything more than that. The kids will eventually grow up and he'll have no more power. Kids always know who loves them and who doesn't. All he wants is to annoy you. Try to remember that; let him think you're bothered but just wait him out. I doubt he cares enough about the kids to do anything else. It's you that he wants to get back at. Let him think that he bothers you and he probably won't escalate the problems. Sad, but true.
When mine wouldn't pay support, the lawyer would write him a letter and then he'd pay. On the check, he wrote "Choke on this!" proving that it was me he as mad at. The kids always knew exactly who he was and knew who really cared about them. Now that they're adults, they don't have much time for him. Just hold on a little while longer. It does get better.

[Columbia, MD]

Better news: We will probably be going home tomorrow. Victor has not had a fever in over 24hours and is looking and feeling much better than he was. I just stopped home to pick up hubby and then we are going back to visit for a few hours.

Thanks for the prayers!

Bug -- thanks for sharing the good news. Good to know Victor can come home and enjoy the rest of the holiday season!! Hugs!!