Talk about your troubles

[elleprn]

QueenB: Thank you for the validation! It makes me feel like less of a shrew. It's been on my mind since early this morning and I want to be the bigger person in this situation but it's hard. I will see all of them at Thanksgiving at my daughter's home. I made reservations at a nearby Los Angeles hotel, so that they could have some quality time with his parents and extended family. Now I feel like just making it a day trip. I don't know why I get so sentimental about the holidays. Maybe it's because my parent and siblings are gone...........

[prhoshay]

Places like the Salvation Army are wonderful places to volunteer if you are alone on holidays. They start with breakfast, and then serve dinner starting that afternoon. You can do either one, or both. You will see entire families....little kids, included....doing this. It's cool in that it gets you out of the house, and you see people in situations that make yours seem not so bad, and they are grateful for the food and your kind attention. I think it's especially important in this economy, as you will probably be helping people who, in no way, ever expected to be in this situation. And the food is good! And you feel wonderful at the end of the day.

It's not wrong of you to feel the way that you do. I think it's normal human nature. I'll be keeping a good thought for you.

[MRD]

I say be honest with your daughter. She might be feeling that you would be uncomfortable around so many people and feel out of place and is offering you an alternative.
I'd let her know that you you want be with her and the family.

You may be surprised that she might have thought you didn't.

I know a lot of families that include all the inlaws.

But I'd bring it up and talk to her about it.

[prhoshay]

Not only inlaws, but exes, too.

[Ellen]

elleprn:
If you're near San Diego, you're welcome to Christmas with us, too. We can't afford to travel during the holidays to be with my family in Wisconsin -- and if we could, we really hate airports during the holidays, so we'd likely be staying at home anyway. I've volunteered during Thanksgiving and Christmas before and had great experiences. We always have my French clients and whoever doesn't have other plans over for Thanksgiving. The door is open for Christmas, too, and there are always extra "eats" in the kitchen!

[inthegarden]

elleprn I think the feelings that you are having are very normal and you shouldn't feel guilty for having them. You have been such a rock for your daughter, that she probably thinks you will be okay. I think you ought to say something to her, tell her how you feel. Try not to make her feel guilty, because you don't want a 'guilt' inivitation.
Volunteering is a great way to spend the Holidays. Meals on Wheels is always looking for people to deliver food. Senior centers are always looking for volunteers to visit with people.
If nothing works out and you find that you will be spending that day alone...do something fun for yourself, plan a me day. Go to or rent a movie, take a long walk/hike in the park, read a book... just whatever it is that you say you are going to do for yourself but never seem to have the time. Make it a special day just for you.

[elleprn]

I am totally overwhelmed by all of your suggestions. They are great and true. Just when you think you are in this world alone, support like this comes along. Thank you all.

[Ellen]

I am totally overwhelmed by all of your suggestions. They are great and true. Just when you think you are in this world alone, support like this comes along. Thank you all.

I noticed in an earlier post that you mentioned something about L.A.? If you'd like to mosey down to San Diego, let me know -- PM (private message) me, and we'll go from there. And if you'd rather not -- no problem. Just wanted to let you know the invitation is here and real.

[Cootie]

Please keep my SIL in your thoughts. She is taking meds tonight so that tomorrow when she gets a second Taxol treatment, her body won't react unfavorably to it. She is fighting a very aggressive breast cancer and is in a clinical trial that is in jeopardy if her body rejects the Taxol. She needs lots of positive thoughts to go her way.

Thanks to all of you in advance!

[Columbia, MD]

Please keep my SIL in your thoughts. She is taking meds tonight so that tomorrow when she gets a second Taxol treatment, her body won't react unfavorably to it. She is fighting a very aggressive breast cancer and is in a clinical trial that is in jeopardy if her body rejects the Taxol. She needs lots of positive thoughts to go her way.

Thanks to all of you in advance!

Done, Cootie. Prayers to her and all others suffering at this time in any way, shape or form.