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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #9331
    Me and my shadow Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    norealityhere - I hope your sister's friend gets good news.
    I was tossing and turning last night, unable to sleep, when it occurred to me - I paid for the bank to do their assessment and it was never done because this supervisor didn't want to "waste" my money. The loan I'm requesting is so low, I can't believe the assessment would be less. So I think my first line of fire will be to request that the assessment be done. If it's still no go, I'll consider going over this woman's head. She's being unreasonable.
    Count your blessings!

  2. #9332
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    One of my best friends has decided to sever her ties with me. I am heartbroken.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

  3. #9333
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So sorry Salty Babe. Can you share with us why?
    Count your blessings!

  4. #9334
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

  5. #9335
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Salty Babe;4054674;
    It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?
    might make you feel better to share..... talking it out sometimes gives you more clarity on the situation.....

  6. #9336
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Okay.....it's long..........

    We have been freinds for 18 years. I love her like a sister. We have had a troubled relationship over the years, most of it due to her hardheadedness and my fear of confrontation. I hate confrontation and if you confront me, I am more likely to yank my head into my shell rather than fight back. It is just not in my nature to fight. My friend is the complete opposite. She will get into your face.

    She didn't talk to me for almost a year because she was depressed and apparently wasn't talking to anyone. I was hurt and mad and called everyone under the sun because I wasn't sure if she was dead or alive(she lived in another city at the time). A few monthes ago she came out of the woodwork and called me. She had moved back in with her parents and had gotten into it with her mom, who kicked her out of the house. She had nowhere to go, so she called me. I swallowed my hurt over her not calling me for a year and invited her over.

    She stayed for 4 days. I loved having her here, I really had missed her and I did give her a lecture about what she had done. Things seemed to be on the mend. I told her about a message board where I am a regular and she signed up, which was fun until she started making jokes about me that really weren't funny. She also mentioned in a thread that i was a lousy, fair weather friend, I know she was talking about me because I am her only friend. That pissed me off so I called her on it.

    Now she is irate and has called me every name in the book. Plus she is on MY board, the place I love. I have plenty of friends there and now I have to watch myself every time I am there because I don't know what she is going to do. I asked her to leave me alone for now so I could collect my thoughts, and so far she has.

    I hate feeling like I am the bad buy here. I have done everything in my power to help her. Problem is, I have a husband and he doesn't want her living with us because her mom is a horrible person (she is).

    I know she sounds terrible but she really isn't. She's mad at me because I called her out for bullying me. She said she was kidding but I still didn't like it(I've never liked it, to be honest). If you say something like "You know I could kick your ass." does that not sound like a thinly veiled threat to you? it does to me. She has been saying stuff liek this for years but I always blew it off until now. I called her on it and now she's mad.

    I don't want to stop going to my board because of her. I have grown to care about most everyone there. I still feel some kind of loyalty to her and want her to know I am there for her if she needs me. I tried to apologize for going off on her but she wanted none of it.

    I know it's crazy but I hate knowing she is this upset with me. Her family is the most horrible group of people you could ever hope to meet. Without me she has no one. Her parents hate her and her sister wants her dead.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

  7. #9337
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    awwww salty babe, it sounds like you are a very good friend! don't stop visiting your regular board..... and if you want, still be cordial and friendly to her (or don't engage in conversation so there is no confrontation). She sounds like she is stubborn and hard headed. After a while, she might cool off and start talking to you again... I know it's hard, but you are the bigger person and carry your head high. Don't run from her, but don't engage in any hurtful conversation. She sounds like a bully.... but if her family is as you say, maybe that is her only coping mechanism. Still no excuse for her being an arse. time is an amazing healer...... just be patient. *hug*

  8. #9338
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by mountaingirl70;4054697;
    awwww salty babe, it sounds like you are a very good friend! don't stop visiting your regular board..... and if you want, still be cordial and friendly to her (or don't engage in conversation so there is no confrontation). She sounds like she is stubborn and hard headed. After a while, she might cool off and start talking to you again... I know it's hard, but you are the bigger person and carry your head high. Don't run from her, but don't engage in any hurtful conversation. She sounds like a bully.... but if her family is as you say, maybe that is her only coping mechanism. Still no excuse for her being an arse. time is an amazing healer...... just be patient. *hug*
    Thanks. I am a damn good friend. I haven't said a word to her since I sent her the email where I apologized. I am still going to my board and am not going to let her intimidate me. I hope she does cool off, I think she needs me in her life right now. Her family is awful to her.

    That makes sense that maybe she is a bully because it is her only way to cope.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

  9. #9339
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Good Grief! You know, believe it or not, friendships are a lot like people. They can have a lifespan, too. Sometimes, it's just time to call it over. Keep in mind that you can't be a doormat unless you lay down. I guess the question is, are you a victim or a volunteer for her abuse? Desperation never tends to play out well. She obviously has issues. You cannot save her. Sometimes you have to stop caring about what certain people think, and take care of yourself. We definietly teach people how to treat us. Give it a nice funeral, cry, and let it go. What is it about her that makes you want to hang onto her when she treats you badly?
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #9340
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I don't know, honestly. I think part of it is that we have so much history together. She saved my life when I was suicidal mess in my twenties.

    I know that on some level you are right. I just miss her and I miss the good times we once had.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

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