Not getting the house now. Things have gone backwards instead of forwards. When I run the numbers, I can't afford the house and there is nothing I can cut out that will help. Called the elec. company to get an avg. bill. With the rent and barebones expenses I will go in the hole $800 each month.
My biggest expense besides rent will be insurance and copays. To get my health taken care of which I have ignored, I am looking at $170 in copays for dr. visits each month and $180 in medications. The insurance is $200 a month. So if I don't take the insurance and don't go to the dr. I can save $500 a month, which still puts me in the hole $300 each month. And I need to think about if my car needs repairs. I've been down here a month and it's already been in teh shop twice.
I am unable to volunteer as my stress level now is out of the roof and adding another commitment to my plate would send me into orbit and not help me. I'm so stressed that if I drop the soap in the shower, I fall apart. So while volunteering and giving my talks has been helpful to me in the past. I'm not at a place where I think I could do that now. Just the commitment of showing up to work everyday is almost too much.
I'm not trying to be negative or down or shoot down all your ideas. I'm being realistic. I have run the numbers all kinds of ways and it can't work. And my stress is really ,really bad right now. My fibromyalgia has become almost unbearable again and so has the IC which is contributing to my stress as it's making it really hard for me to concentrate at work and learn the job.
I still have 2 weeks to go before my trial period is up, so I don't know if they will keep me or let me go. So I am going to have to give up on the house for now as I don't think I should put down a $500 non refundable deposit until I know for sure I will keep my job and I also don't think I can afford the house.
I've been looking at other places and $700 is about the lowest range for house rentals. The only apartments in my town are section 8 and you have to income qualify to live there and I make too much.
So I feel like I am back at square one. Just when I get all positive, something happens to shoot me down. And the situation basically is this:
I can pay rent and go without insurance and medical treatment as I've been doing. Or I can not pay rent and get insurance and take care of my health problems.
It is a SUCKY situation and why we need a system like Canada does for health. Because in this country, you can either have a roof over your head and no insurance or medical care or you can have insurance, but live on the street.