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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #9151
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I am so hoping and praying the surgery did something good for Victor. We're thinking of you young man.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  2. #9152
    FORT Fogey justCoz's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Adding my prayers to the many others here.

  3. #9153
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So sorry, buglover. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  4. #9154
    Always Loved My Furry One Mimzy's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Sending my prayers and love to BugLover and Victor. Hope all went well and easy.

  5. #9155
    MRD
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    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Bug you know you have everything I can send you in the way of good thoughts, prayers, healing energy, etc. I am still visualizing Victor getting well.


    Well gang, I am headed back to Florida permanently. Things are not working out and I'm getting divorced. I hate it. I don't really want it, but on the other hand I do. Life's too short to be this miserable. I was happy in May when I was in Florida. I came back here to try to work it out. I tried, he didn't. I saw him with new perspective and I realized that this marriage has been over for a few years now and neither one of us was able to admit it until now.

    I'm incredibly heartbroken. But I am moving home where I have so very many good friends and family.

    And while going through our things and separating them out has been harder than I thought it ever would be (everything has a memory attached to it) it hit me yesterday that these next 2 weeks are going to be the last 2 weeks I'll ever live with my daughter. She's staying here because of college, but she's getting married in Dec. So after 19 years, I have two more weeks and then I'll be 600 miles away. And that is really breaking my heart.

    I also have to leave Rosie and Bogie up here for the time being. I'm going to stay with a friend until I can get into the house that another friend offered me, but they have to evict the tenant who is 3 months behind. So it could be mid Sept or longer. Going to be hard not to have them with me. I missed them so much that month I stayed in Florida.
    I was offered a job when I was down there and incredibly they are still very interested in me. I have another interview lined up with them 4 days after I get back. So, I have a house, I may have a job, I have a huge support system and I have oil free beaches. Who could ask for more right? Well me, I could ask for more. I hate this, I don't want to do this. I want to stay married, I want us to be happy again and that is just not going to happen.

    So those of you that are divorced, when did you finally start to accept it? When did the memories stop making you cry? How do you pick up the pieces and move on?
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  6. #9156
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Being divorced w/3 kids, I accepted it at once. I still cried because I believed in forever. You take one day at a time. Or you take one hour at a time. Whatever is best for you. You develop your own dreams,....maybe you put some things on the backburner while in your marriage,...now you can make them happen. You learn to love yourself again. You learn to believe in yourself again. You learn to truly believe that its his loss,....not yours. You learn to realize that someday you might feel that it was for the good of you that the divorce happened. Already, you have a place to stay...you have a job possibility....you have your daughter and friends....you are still a blessed person!

  7. #9157
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out mrd. At least try not to have any regrets. Remember that you gave it your best effort to stay together. I've never been divorced, but my parents divorced when I was about your daughter's age. My one piece of advice is to try to insulate her a bit from your hurt. I'm sure you and your husband will be able to deal with all the wedding stuff and make her wedding about her and her soon to be husband.
    "I miss Darva Conger." - Phonegrrrl

  8. #9158
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    When I was divorced I was more angry than sad, because another woman (my best friend) was involved. I did NOT insulate my kids as much as I should have from that anger, which is the one thing I would change if I could go back. It took me a long time to get over the anger, but at least I wasn't dealing with sorrow. Everyone has their own time table for grief and healing. I think it will help that you have so many friends here and in FL to help support you in the process.
    Count your blessings!

  9. #9159
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I was grateful for my divorce, but it was always MY idea, so that gave me a feeling of control. You can try to insulate your daughter, but she also needs to see a strong you. I spent a lot of time with myself, and finally figured out exactly why I had married the person that I did and, about 5 years down the road, I finally figured out exactly why I got out. These things are not as easy to "get" as they seem that they should be. I never cried over memories. I put everything in proper perspective and while remembering the "good", I also remembered that it was not always good. That kind of thinking provided balance, for me. I was sad, for my son, that our little unit was breaking up, but I was also glad that our "new" unit had more peace. I also stopped and asked myself if I was sad for losing that marriage that I had, or was I sad over losing what I WISH I had. Nobody likes to admit failure but, sometimes, it may be necessary to regain sanity!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  10. #9160
    Bitten Critical's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm so sorry, MRD. I can't imagine how hard it must be, but you know that you did everything you could to keep the marriage together.

    It sounds like you're about to start a new adventure. I hope your friends can get those tenants evicted quickly so you can get your two babies down there with you.

    Hang in there and know that you have lots of people here to lean on.
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

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