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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #8901
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Yikes, MRD -- I'm so sorry to hear about everything that's happening all at once, and, like Gabriel, wish I could do more than send my good wishes.
    (Speaking of wishes, though, do you have a Trader Joe's wish list?)
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

  2. #8902
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    mrd, I am so sorry to hear about your job loss on top of everything else. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  3. #8903
    FORT Fogey Air Blobs Easy Champion inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Mrd and norealityhere
    When I have a string of bad things happen to me and I wonder how am I possibly going to get through just one more... I take a step back and look at the situation and say to myself....
    Okay self, now what lesson am I not getting and why have I had to go to this extreme to learn it, or what lesson am I being taught so I can be prepared for the next step. I approach life problems as an actual experiment, where I am the scientist and have to find the answer, going through a series of steps where one has to be accomplished to reach the next, moving forward instead of getting all mired down with there is no solution. This has gotten me through some pretty rough times (in which I wonder what next ?) and I have actually learned some very valuable lessons and granted there are just some really unanswerable bad things that just happen, but I still try to learn at least one good thing from it, it might be small, but I always look for it and usually find it.
    As someone mention upthread , we are never given any problem that we can't solve or handle at the particular step that we are on, but at the time it can seem like it will never end, but it does and we move on until the next one stops us. You both have a lot of love, prayers, good thoughts and support from your FORT family and even though you might physically be alone, we are all here for you in spirit.

  4. #8904
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks all. Your support and kindness are very much appreciated.

    Unk, the flowers are beautiful, thanks.

    Gabriel, you have been a font of support, you couldn't do anymore than you are doing, dear man.

    When it rains it pours I guess.
    Life had just been going too well, I should have known that a crash was coming. Nothing good lasts forever. Nothing bad either. But it just seems like the bad last forever, while the good goes way too fast.

    Ellen, I've never been to a Trader Joe's, so wouldn't even know what to wish for.

    Good news? Since my husband has been gone, I have lost 22 pounds in a month!!!! I have only had meat twice in that month and sweets only a couple times and really haven't missed either. I am walking with my daughter and push mowing 2 1/2 acres weekly (as soon as I find a job, there WILL be a riding mower in my future) We are going to a weekly Buddhist meditation class, I am seeing a counselor and I am taking a class on life management skills.
    So I'm trying. I just can't fight off the awful loneliness. When we moved, we moved out in the country and it's gorgeous. But it's so far out, I don't know any of my neighbors (met them only) and gas is killing me right now. So tend to stay home more than I should, but can't really afford to go anywhere that is non-essential.
    The other good news I guess is that my counselor is attached to my university, so that's free and so are the classes we're taking. Because right now, I'm squeezing my pennies so hard, Lincoln's eyes are about to pop out.

    My husband is paying all the bills and giving us money, but it's still not a lot. I am thankful that I don't have to worry about the bills for now. And eating healthy and vegetaria is much cheaper than buying meat and junk.

    On a kind of bittersweet note: now that Waldo is gone, I have been able to take Rosie and Bogie for car rides and walks and a trip to the park. We had quit taking them because Waldo was so sad when we left him home alone and he couldn't go because he got so anxious and carsick.

    So, lot's of bad, some good. Have great fort friends that are just amazing. I have good and bad days. Today's a good one. Yesterday, not so great.

    The uncertainty of what's going to happen is really hard. I like having a plan, knowing what's on the agenda, working towards it and right now, just cannot do that at all.

    husband's health is bad. Found that out this week. So am worried about him as well. But I think that if he can get things under control, start feeling better physically and get the depression taken care of that things just might work out. Or not. I don't know. That's why I say the uncertainty is hard as is the loneliness.

    But again, thanks all. The Fort Family is just amazing.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  5. #8905
    Me and my shadow Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    When I've been in a really bad place, it helps me to narrow my focus and count my blessings. Once when I was in the middle of my divorce, had gotten a pink slip for my job, and the house we had rented was being sold and we were being evicted, I found a little book called "Life Without Stress" applying Eastern philosophies to our Western way of life. I remember so clearly driving into work and asking myself the questions it had said to ask, "Am I safe at the moment?" "Do I have enough to eat?" "Do I have a safe, warm shelter?". If in the present moment you can answer "yes" to those, then breathe in, breathe out, and give thanks. Stay in the present moment. I also sometimes read a book about people who are really in a bad way - accounts of African children, people in Siberian prison camps, WWII concentration camps, etc. Google what's happening in Chile or China. A healthy dose of "I'm really fortunate in relation to them" always puts things in perspective for me. Can you volunteer somehow? I know you have to be careful about your trips into town, but maybe you can plan around a trip you have to make anyway and visit someone in a retirement home, soup kitchen, crack babies, walk shelter dogs. Start the cycle of giving and receiving back up. One more thing - whether you watch American Idol or not, go to Crystal Bowersox's thread and find this week's link (posted by Unklescott) of her singing "People Get Ready"... several times. Post #334
    Last edited by Gutmutter; 04-24-2010 at 02:25 PM.
    Count your blessings!

  6. #8906
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Wow, such wise words from all of you. I like the way you all think. Something that I do when I am feeling overwhelmed, lonely or depressed is clean my house or tackle a project that I have been putting off. I find that completing those tasks automatically makes me feel more in control.

    Another thing I do is pretty simple - work on my posture. It might sound weird, but when I feel bad I think I even stand crooked and sit slumped over. I stand up straight and breathe, like Gut says...

    Last week I danced to Just Dance on the Wii for a few hours with my daughter. I was so busy trying to follow all the dances and laughing that I felt great the whole time and even the memory of it makes me smile. I am not a natural dancer so it was pretty funny!

  7. #8907
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Oh MRD, you are so incredibly strong. You are dealing with all of the terrible things that have happened with such courage. I am so proud of you. I was thinking about you and it sounds like you are doing the best you can.

  8. #8908
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Well some days my best isn't all that good. Some are better than others.

    When I'm like this, I need to read or watch upbeat stuff. If I were to read sad or horrible things, it just makes me more depressed.

    And I've been trying to count my blessings. I am better off than some, not as much as others.

    Depends on the day how I feel. Today, not such a great day so far. Hope it gets better.

    Nights are the worst. I cry myself to sleep every night.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  9. #8909
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    MRD, there will come a time in the future when you won't cry nearly as long as you did the night before. There will come a time when you will be grateful that you're so strong! (And I'm also saying this to those out there who haven't shared yet) One tiny movement, one tiny step, one hug from your daughter, one group hug from all of us equals moving beyond your pain. The pain and sorrow might be back, but hopefully it won't seem as bleak as yesterday was.

  10. #8910
    FORT Fogey GuardianAngel's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    mrd, I get inspiring emails from "the universe" everyday and I thought of you.I deleted my name and inserted yours. Today's message:


    Wake up, MRD! Remember what excites you. Think of these things, those friends, and the adventures that can be yours. Focus. Care. Fantasize. Imagine. It's all so near. Speak as if you're ready. Paste new pictures in your scrapbook, on your vision board, and around your home and office. Physically prepare for the changes that you wish to experience in your life. You've done this before. You know it works. You're due for an encore. It's time to amaze. That's why you're there.

    And it's why I'm here,
    The Universe
    I physically prepare when I'm in a slump. For example I'll make up a bunch of file folders with blank labels to prepare for all the new business I'll be getting. I recently went through my filing cabinet and got rid of all the old bills and negative paperwork that I have that has to do with another relationship, I went to the local dump this past weekend and threw out a few old things that have been in my garage and in my way. We have to make way for positive energy, and get rid of the old stale negative objects. I worked hard in my flower bed this weekend, replenishing the earth with 6 bags of fresh dirt so not only will my perenials grow but give me new growth in my life.
    Last edited by GuardianAngel; 04-26-2010 at 08:55 AM.

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