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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #7961
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Muduh;3422816;
    Glad to know that someone here is as cold blooded as I am.
    When it comes to my ex you bet I am.
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  2. #7962
    RIP Billy Mays:'( Trista's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Okay so here are my troubles (rant on):
    I worked at a mall-based retailer for over two years, starting a couple months after graduating high school. In that time included a near total changeover in staff, with me being one of the holdouts from the old time. The new manager hated me, and the girl who was made the temporary keyholder for the holidays hated me even more (and I should have been the temp key since I knew more about the company, had tenure, and was better) and due to some rumours being spread about me, I was fired in early December. Ever since then I have been getting out there, trying to find work, but I have not heard a word back from any place. To make matters worse, most places require that you have a car and driver's license (I never learned how to drive; I bus it everywhere) or the only posts open are management. I want to maybe get into espresso however it is very difficult to break into it here in Seattle because most places want people with years of experience including latte art, or they are bikini stands where in some cases more days than not are "pasties and panties" and not only do I not have an acceptable body for that, but I would not be comfortable working in lingerie or less. It's been 5 months almost and no idea when I will work again. Thankfully I live with my parents, who pay me to do housework and such. Otherwise I'd be on the streets.

    Then there is my brother, who has not had the easiest life. He never really got along well with other kids, he was bullied and harassed and in many cases, the school turned a blind eye to it, or blamed him in one case. He started missing a lot of school during his sophomore year because he just couldn't deal with it, and he wasn't really interested in stuff beyond PE and autoshop (our high school has stringent graduation requirements about how many credits you have to take and in what areas). During his junior year, the new principal was the one who turned a blind eye to the bullying during his 8th grade year, so we put him in running start through the local community college. He did two quarters with somewhat regular attendance, and then he got a job August of last year. He was going to do school and work, but dropped school after 3 days-and then was fired in mid-October. He skipped winter quarter and then went back for spring-and then on Easter, just as my dad was picking me up from church, he said that my brother was in the hospital because he attempted suicide. He was in ICU for a day but got better fast, and then he went to a hospital that specializes in mental and behavioural issues for 9 days. Turns out that he has depression, which we kinda all figured...but he also apparently has Asperger's. It definitely explains a lot about the way he is, but I know people who have it (well known) and he is NOTHING like them.

    So yeah. At least now we know what is up and why he is the way he is, and he's getting help.
    (rant over)
    "Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey"-Noah from TDI
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  3. #7963
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Trista,
    It sounds like you (and you entire family) have been dealing with a lot of hardships lately, you have every right to rant and get it off your chest. I'm sorry you lost your job and have had such a hard time finding work. This economy sucks! I hope you are able to find something soon. I am seriously appalled that Seattle has coffee stands featuring "pasties and panties" - I really prefer my barristas to be fully clothed!!!

    I'm also sorry to hear about your brother's struggles. Mental illness definitely affects the entire family! It is really horrible that he attempted suicide before he was diagnosed, but I am glad to hear that he survived!! I truly hope that his diagnosis can lead to him receiving some help that will better equip him with the skills that will lead him to future success and happiness!

  4. #7964
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Trista,
    I'm sorry your family is going through such a tough time. I was diagnosed with depression when I was about the same age as your brother. With medication, I am able to keep it under control and live a normal life for close to 25 years now. Therapy has also helped. One of the best things your family can do for him is to get educated about depression and the Asperger's and be there to help him. Under no circumstances, let anyone tell him to "just get over it". That is one of the worst things someone suffering from depression can hear. Because believe me, I wish I could "just get over it."

    I wish I had more encouraging things to say about the job front, but perhaps you can look to volunteer somewhere. I got my current job by starting out as a volunteer there. If nothing else, your volunteer work will give you experience and something else to put on your resume and may result in finding a job as well.

    Best of luck to you all. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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  5. #7965
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Trista, I'm also sorry that you and your family are going through such a tough time. Hopefully now that your brother has been properly diagnosed, he will help to lead a better, more fulfilling life. I wish you the best of luck during your job search, it must be so frustrating for you.

  6. #7966
    Jumpin' George Clooney NickNack77's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Trista,

    Whew! I can imagine that was really scary hearing about your brother being in the hospital, and why. I can relate--I have had more than one friend and more than one family member attempt suicide, but luckily they all made it through their hard times and are all doing pretty well now, mainly thanks to good counseling and good medicine. I think your brother will probably be fine now that he's getting help--that's something to be grateful for.

    Like a previous person posted, don't let anyone tell you that a person with clinical depression can just "get over it" with a happy attitude. Clinical depression is an imbalance in the brain's chemistry, and medicine is necessary to restore the balance in brain chemicals that their body just doesn't produce normally. It's kind of like diabetes, where the body doesn't make insulin to balance the blood sugar levels, so they have to use medication (insulin) to achieve a balance in the body that the body can't produce on its own. In either case, the medicine is necessary to correct a true, physical chemical imbalance. You wouldn't tell a diabetic to "just get over it" and you can't tell a depressed person that, either.

    As for your job situation, I can feel for you. I got fired from a retail job at a mall because my crazy boss wanted me to work crazy hours at Christmas, and I just wouldn't let him push me that far. Oh well. In a few months I found a job doing landscape work that paid more and I got to be outside (granted, it rains a lot more in Seattle than it did where I was...but everything is so beautifully green in Seattle because of the rain). Then I got some more schooling and got a good job.

    So, I think you'll be okay. Almost everyone got fired from some job in their life (you can google some funny stories from celebrities if you want). You may need to look for other types of jobs than just retail or coffee stuff (the Seattle market may just be over-saturated with coffee houses--it is famous as being the city that drinks the most coffee), but keep your eyes open and your mind open to new possibilities, and ask around to friends, and friends of friends, to see if they've heard of anything. Networking like that is usually pretty good.

    Then, think if there's some way you can get some schooling or skills training for a better career long-term in an area that's growing. Health care and accounting are both growing areas. You could start out volunteering at a nursing home or small clinic or hospital and work your way in over time. Or you could try some accounting or bookkeeping if you like numbers. It really doesn't suck all that bad (though I'm not an accountant).

    And, luckily you have parents who are willing to help you out during this rough time. That's a blessing to be grateful for.
    Last edited by NickNack77; 04-24-2009 at 12:39 PM.
    "The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire."

  7. #7967
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    NickNack, I have often used the diabetes similarities in talking with those that are depressed they have to take meds for depression. They think that they can get over it without meds. I think that in some people just accepting that you have to take meds can be the hardest thing, so I tell them that it's not a weakness, it's a medical disease just like diabetes. But because it does take place in the brain, they think that it's just a "mind over matter" issue and it's not. Just because it's in "your head" doesn't mean it's not a PHYSICAL problem. And good meds go a long way.

    Trista, tell your brother not to get discouraged either. I was on at least 7 different anti-depressants before I found the one that worked the best for me. And that got kind of depressing trying out all the medications. What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for someone else and unfortunately it's sort of trial and error with the meds until you get the right one for you. So again, I urge you all to really educucate yourself on depression so you can help your brother during this difficult time.
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  8. #7968
    RIP Billy Mays:'( Trista's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thank you all! The job thing is very difficult also because I have very few professional references-most of the managers who worked at the store have disappeared off the face of the earth, and the ones who were there when they fired me unanimously wanted me out. I have three-however many places want four, all of people who were in authority positions. But yes, there are a lot of bikini barista stands, although most of them are either north or south of Seattle. There was an article in the paper where they talked about them and the guys were like "I'm not going to get my coffee made by a dude". It's also a way for some bars and such to get money (not in downtown, of course) because in Washington State, it's state law where you cannot smoke within 25 feet of the entrance of a public building, or inside. The only exceptions are the tribal casinos since they are sovereign lands. But yeah. The other thing going against me is that most places only do online applications-in which case I am totally screwed because if I answer honestly to a couple of the personality questions, I'm out, and if I lie, they will figure it out.

    Although the nice thing is that there are many places that advertise as being "family-friendly", and the place I always go to before church has been there for over 12 years, has always been good to me, and they are all fully clothed. I can only imagine that gravity will not be kind to some of the girls at the bikini stands.

    The annoying thing about the depression is that I know some people who say that you just need to think it away. I was able to get rid of the little bit I had thanks to my church involvement, but people who say that you can just "think it away" are wrong. Try living with it. He goes in for his first visit to the therapist today so we are hoping that he can get better, and he is on Prozac as well which is working so far aside from it making him sick to my stomach. Mental illness definitely runs on my mum's side of the family. I have mild anxiety and I've dealt with anorexia. My brother and mom both have depression. A lot of it is in the head but it is very debilitating, physically. Yes, it did scare the tar out of me when I first heard it because I was already exhausted, I was working hospitality at church that day which meant three Easter services of running around in a dress and heels...and then this.
    "Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey"-Noah from TDI
    "If you're one of the 46 uninsured Americans..."-Billy Mays

  9. #7969
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Trista,
    Volunteer until something comes your way. The people you volunteer for are considered professional references. And you'll be helping out organizations that really need it. And you can try a variety of things to see what you like. Many, many people who lost jobs in this economy are volunteering as it keeps them from having blank spots on their resumes and it does give them additional skills when applying for jobs.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  10. #7970
    RIP Billy Mays:'( Trista's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I have done some volunteering, but I am looking at getting into something more regular. When people ask me what I have done, I tell them the honest truth-I dealt with a foot infection, I have gotten more involved in my church, I've had a couple of family emergencies.
    "Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey"-Noah from TDI
    "If you're one of the 46 uninsured Americans..."-Billy Mays

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