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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #7461
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by VeronicaBelle27;3266829;
    I was told that that was not why, but not too sure I believe.
    VeroicaBelle, my deepest condolences on your tragic loss. I am so sad for you. I do want to say that you were told right. Unless you were drinking hard liquor, smoking, doing drugs and hitting your stomach every night, you did not cause this miscarriage. It is natural to feel guilty about losing your baby--after all, you were carrying this child around and taking care of him or her. But the human body is incredibly resilient. Plenty of women under less than ideal circumstances go on to have full-term pregnancies. There are others (myself included) who all but stopped working and stayed at home without doing anything strenuous who still go on to miscarry. I know this will not seem like much of a comfort now, but miscarriages are nature's way of saying that the baby was too weak to survive. As cruel as that sounds, it's so much less cruel for this to happen now rather than after the birth where the child would suffer more before passing away. I never realized that so many women miscarried, but I do know that most women go on to have successful pregnancies in the upcoming cycles. So please don't despair. And please give yourself enough time to grieve this loss. People who haven't been through it don't understand the toll it takes. And people also don't realize that you can't just snap your feelings on and off. It will get better with time. I promise you. You will never forget this baby, but you will get through it and you will be happy again. Maybe just not now.

    Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

  2. #7462
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    VeronicaBelle27, you are in my thoughts. It looks like your "bright spots" are behind some clouds for now, but that they are very bright indeed! I agree with Lois Lane that you should not blame yourself for the loss. Take care of what you need, rest and pace yourself so that you can heal

  3. #7463
    addicted MamaC's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    My condolences too, Veronica. Been there myself a few times and understand exactly how you are feeling. Don't worry about what others say as far as your grieving goes. This happened to YOU and your grief is valid. Take care of yourself and rest. You need time to heal emotionally and physically.


  4. #7464
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm so sorry for your loss Veronica. I know the emptiness that it can bring so be sure to let your loved ones in to fill up that space.
    CYA

  5. #7465
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Well I've managed to stay fairly healthy lately.
    Have avoided what most everyone else has come down with (Airborne is a MIRACLE), but today I fully think I might just shrivel up and die.

    I've got some sort of stomach flu. Had to call hubby at work to bring home bathroom tissue as apparantly we had one roll left and NO one ever says anything until it's too late.

    I just wanted to ask if any of you got the number of that truck that ran over me as the aches are going along with it.

    I am sipping on weak tea and toast and watching Superstars of dance (hmm, that could be the culprit right there as that show sucks).

    Anyway, I'm having a pity party as I'm sick, I'm alone, the basement is leaking again and
    my tummy is in complete revolt.

    But I have Rosie and Bogie to nurse me and keep me warm as they've been plastered to my side, but get their noses bent out of shape when I throw the covers off to run for the facilities. Then they sit on the bed and glare at me. All is forgiven once I'm back in bed.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  6. #7466
    FORT Biscuit VeronicaBelle27's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts. Lots of love!

    I have my good and bad moments, I feel the need to hurry up and distract myself and my family (but not my SO) is helping push that idea. It is astonishing to hear how many women (and how many times) have miscarried. You don't realize by reading the pregancy books, I'm telling you. Once you have it and the doctor tells you how common, and everyone you know tells you their stories. It's encouraging that so many women go onto successful pregnancies, but discouraging to hear that just as many may miscarry again.

    I can't help but feel the guilt over having so much stress at the time. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but I was told many times to relax and especially after seeing spotting to go lay down. I tried, but there were so many times when that was not possible.

    Today is devoted to: 1. relaxing with honey (also home today due to bad weather and general laziness) and 2. fighting with the insurance company and the hospital about inpatient stay vs. emergency room visit. I KNEW they would do this wrong. Years ago the same hospital and the same insurance provider screwed up the coding on an emergency room visit and I ended up having to pay part of the balance (shouldn't have had to pay anything) just to clear it off my credit to get my mortgage. Now that I'm looking to move again, getting that letter in the mail was deja vu in the worst way.

    Okay, going off to fire all cannons on these unsuspecting people!
    Could does not mean should

  7. #7467
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Go get um Veronica!!

    mrd - I've got a stomach flu today as well. And I also do not understand why no one in the house says anything about the level of supplies until it's too late! My son does this with the kitty litter every month! He waits until I see that the new litter is empty even though it is his chore to clean the litter box.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  8. #7468
    Pineapple! ClosetRTWatcher's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    mrd & buglover - I hope you both feel better soon!!!
    (In our house it is the dog food that runs out without anyone bothering to tell me that we are low)

    Veronica - Good luck battling TPTB!!

  9. #7469
    FORT Fogey brunette trixie's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Feel better soon, mrd & buglover! Stomach flus are the worst.

  10. #7470
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    VeronicaBelle: I wish you my most heartfelt condolences on your recent miscarriage. I do not know what it is like, but I send you love, healing energy, good health, peace and wellbeing for the future. Be well and take care of yourself.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

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