Goodness you all have so many problems that I hate to lay mine on you. Anyone who wants to pm or email me, feel free. If I can help I sure will.
This may not be the best place for this, but who cares?
Many of you already know that my father in law has literally been at deaths door forever. My sister in law called Tuesday afternoon, crying. I assumed the end had come for their dad. Not so. My husband's younger brother had had a massive heart attack and died. He was 54.
I had always liked him until about three years ago. He was 14 when we married and I considered him my little brother too. He married five years later and we had babies in the same year. His wife and I were (and are) best friends. They went through a bitter divorce a few years ago and he wanted every family member to write her off. Since she had done nothing to me, I was the hold out. We're still close.
The night of the visitation she and I stayed together and visited with friends they had had together. My husband stayed with his mother and sister. Fine.
Yesterday at the funeral I sat with her, my husband with the family. At the cemetery my brother in laws present wife, who I sincerely hope I never lay eyes on again, walked up while I was visiting with a woman and told the woman that everyone was going to "her" house and they were invited. We weren't and I felt bad for my husband. He would have liked to be with his family. I told him to go on and I would go over to his aunts (across the road from the cemetery). He wouldn't do that, wasn't invited anyway, and the two of us went out to lunch and back to our motel.
This morning we went out to tell his parents goodbye and they were getting his dad ready for another trip to the ER. The ambulance came and got him and we went to stay with him until other family members could come. They all arrived about an hour and a half later and immediately decided to all go out to lunch. His sister said that we could stay there till they got back. We finally got to leave about three o'clock.
I really would like to just stay away from them. I know I owe it to him to help some but I don't want to go as often as we have. Last year we spent every holiday there so that his sister and brother in law could get away. We spent a week there at Christmas and they didn't have the first decoration up. I had my house decorated. I wanted to be at home. She is already making plans for a repeat this year. I'm not going. I'm going to need help from some of you to keep my resolve.
Thanks to those of you who made it through this pity party I threw for myself.
I must add that I left out the many reasons that we had a bad relationship for the last few years. I would like to share that later.