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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #6851
    FORT Fogey Margaritaville's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Famita - my heart goes out to you I did not know you had lost a son, I am so sorry. Please know that I am keeping you in my prayers

  2. #6852
    FORT Fanatic onei0091's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Oh, Famita, I am so sorry about your son. I have never lost a (living) child, but I understand it is the hardest grief to endure.

    It is amazing how grief can strike. I lost my dad about 5 years ago. Before he died, I would sometimes think of how I would cope when I lost a loved one, and it seemed unfathomable. When he actually passed away, I cried all night long, but somehow managed to get through the funeral without freaking out and managed to get up in the morning and keep going. I was starting law school 2 months after he passed in another state and was busy preparing for that. I was really surprised that I was managing as well as I was.

    Then about 9 months after he passed I was out to eat with my fiance and all of a sudden felt like I was going to die. My heart was racing and I was trembling and felt like I was going to pass out. I went home and vomited for a while. I seriously thought I was going to die so I went to the ER. They checked everything out and told me I was having a panic attack. I kept having panic attacks and had no clue what was going on. They sent me to a therapist and when we got to the subject of my dad's passing, I couldn't stop crying and felt sick. It seemed to be that grief found me and made me deal with it even though mentally I was trying to avoid it.

    Last month we lost our baby at about 8 weeks in. I started having panic attacks again! I'm doing better now but this kind of stuff is really, really tough. Most people don't want to talk about it and that makes it so much harder. I know my story is very different from yours but I hope in some way i makes you feel less alone.

  3. #6853
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    onei0091, I'm so sorry for your losses...both the recent and the not so recent. Just because you never got to hold him or her doesn't make the loss any less painful and heartbreaking... I'll be thinking of you.
    Last edited by Lois Lane; 08-29-2008 at 03:13 PM.

  4. #6854
    FORT Fan Shaybo II's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    onei0091- I'm sorry to hear about both losses in your life. If you need a shoulder to cry on we're here ok?

  5. #6855
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    onei-know that you are in my prayers.

  6. #6856
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Here's my trouble today......not anything major but it still makes me sad. I need to put my son's inheritance check into the bank. I had told my husband that I wanted to go at 2pm to avoid a huge wait to sign up for an account. I got a phone call about 15 minutes ago that he's taking the old refridgerator to his ex wife because she doesn't have a fridge for her and the kids. Ok, I guess that's nice..... But... I have horrible social anxiety..anytime I have to talk to people I don't know, I get nervous and feel like I'm sounding dumb. He was supposed to go with me but he had to take this over there even though we had agreed to meet at 2pm to go to the bank. Now I am probably going to have to go alone or just shine it and go tomorrow when the nice interest rate deal is expired. I feel I'm being pushed aside now for her and their children constantly. I have talked to him about it but he says, bear with me ok? My kids need things and she doesn't have them. Well then have the kids stay with us only until she gets her crap together. Argh. The kids were living here and decided they wanted to stay a few nights with their mom. I'm just wondering when he is going to realize that bending over backwards for this woman will never stop unless he stops it. I get that the kids need stuff, but they can come back to our house and stay until everything is ready. Anyway, sorry for ranting but I'm about to lose it right now!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  7. #6857
    FORT Fanatic onei0091's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks, everyone, for your kind words.

    Buglover, I know just how you are feeling right now. I have spent the last few months fixing up a rental property, which was somewhat easy on my social anxiety issue because i was either there alone or with people that I already knew (tho sometimes had to meet Stanley Steemer or whomever else out there, which I don't like). However, now that it's done, I have to do showings. The showings freak me out. Not only because I'm meeing complete strangers over there but also because I have social anxiety and feel like I"m going to panic after awhile if they are taking their time.

    So far the people that have come to the showings have all been nice and it's never as bad in my head as I anticipate it to be. You know, we worry about worst case scenario but most of the time it doesn't go that way. Out of 15 or so showings I only felt an actual panic attack coming on once and I managed okay.
    When I'm done with a showing or a group of showings, I make sure to reward myself for getting through it okay. It usually involves something nice and relaxing.

    So, my advice to you is to go ahead and go to the bank alone - kind of dare yourself to do it! And imagine as you get ready to go there and as you drive over there that its going to go well. Imagine the bank teller being really nice, really friendly. Imagine that you feel relaxed while you are there. Crack some jokes if you have to to distract yourself, or talk about the weather. Then, when you get through it and are on your way home (yay!) do something you want to do! Even if it's watching a movie in your pjs - whatever you want as a reward.

    Hope that helps.

  8. #6858
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I received some horrible news today, my dad's prostate cancer has spread to his bones. The doctors say he only has a few weeks to live. Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks.

  9. #6859
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Oh paridy....... my dear! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers along with your dad and family. Please PM me if you need anything at all. My mother died of ovarian cancer and she only knew about it for a few weeks as well before she passed.
    Yup, with donuts!!

  10. #6860
    FORT Fanatic onei0091's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by paridy;3182939;
    I received some horrible news today, my dad's prostate cancer has spread to his bones. The doctors say he only has a few weeks to live. Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks.
    Paridy, I'm SO sorry. That is awful, awful news. You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. If you want to talk, I'm here. My dad had cancer as well and he didn't know he had it until 3 weeks before he passed away.

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