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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #6841
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    MRD my mom's birthday is September 8th. We were all brought here to the FORT for a reason. To hold each other tight and get through these times each year!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  2. #6842
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    famita, it takes as long as it takes. It was 21 years ago last June, that I lost my mother....which is nothing like losing a child.....and this is the first year that I was not in actual pain and having periods of disruption. I'm guessing I'll still have disruptions from time to time, though. I am the baby. Just give yourself permission to grieve with no apologies. The funny stories will come bit by bit, when it's their time. Cry when you need to; laugh when you need to. Talk to him when you need to. Care not what anyone else thinks. This is your road to travel. Be nice to yourself.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  3. #6843
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Famita, there is no time limit on grief. Your loss was not so long ago...you are doing great. Seriously. You lost a child. That isn't the way it's supposed to be. He was supposed to grieve losing you... Crying, I think, is a great release. I think sometimes it's just best to do as you did--to lock the door and just let it all out. Your son sounded like he was a wonderful young man, and a good chunk of that credit is thanks to you. I am going on a year now since my father's passing...and it does get better...but sometimes it is almost unbearable. For the past two weeks, I have been crying privately in my car and on the train (OK, maybe that's not so private). It just hits you. I just go with it and then go on. I know this won't be much consolation, but it sounds like your son was so full of life and lived every day to the fullest. That's the way life should be lived. Anyhow, I understand a little of what you are going through and I wish I could give you a big hug. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish you peace.

  4. #6844
    Over and Out! Bunny555's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Famita, You can be proud forever of your son, of the person he was, of the kind of wonderful Mom he made you. As Shay said, it is your journey, just know that friends are here should you get lost along the way.
    CYA

  5. #6845
    addicted MamaC's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Famita, everything that you are going through is to be expected. Frankly, I think you are doing quite well. Honestly, I don't think I would be able to get out of bed.

    You will have good days and, unfortunately, you will have bad days. And then one day, something will happen or something will be said, and you will be able to laugh without crying and only then will you realize that yes, you have gotten to that point. It could be tomorrow, next month, next year. No one knows as we all grieve differently.

    But you are a remarkable woman who had a really remarkable son. When you are having a rough spell, please think back to all the funny things he did or said and remember what a great child he was.

    How are your other boys dealing with their loss? Have any of you gone to grief counseling, like Compassionate Friends? If you feel that things are getting to be too much, please check out some of these services. I hear that they do a lot of good.


  6. #6846
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Famita, somehow I missed the news that you lost your son. I'm so sorry to see this.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  7. #6847
    FORT Fogey ScoutMom's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. I think the important thing to remember is that whatever you feel like doing is okay. We need to grieve; we need to let those emotions out. My sincere sympathies to all who are grieving. I lost my sister three years ago last March and my dad three years ago this month. I still miss them; I still think about them; I still talk about them. And I always will.

  8. #6848
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    For all of us who are involved in our own struggles, one thing that can bring us comfort is to remember:

    " Friends are the angels who lift us up when we believe our wings have forgotten how to fly. "

    Thanks to all of you for "being there".
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  9. #6849
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    famita You blubber all you want. I think you've shown amazing strength and are entitled to losing it every week if you need to.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  10. #6850
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thank you, my friends, for your kind words of encouragement. I guess it struck me anew that he definitely wasn't coming home again. And I guess that the gravestone was another "turning the page and starting a new chapter" moment. My other sons are having their moments, too. My oldest son and I can talk about Matt at any time. My youngest never brings him up in conversation, but will talk when I bring him up. I don't want to become one of those people who continue to mourn and wear black for eternity. I do have my moments of funny brilliance and wit, but it isn't quite the way it used to be. I should just accept. So, thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

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