Gabriel, I know what you're saying. When I was divorced w/3 kids under 4 my mom offered for me to stay with her until I got settled. I really thought about it and said thanks but no thanks-we were worse than oil and water, were not getting along at all at the time, and I didn't think I would be able to maintain my "adulthood". We both are thankful that I didn't go the easy route back then. I have respect for those that do go that route, but only if they let their children retain their self-worth. I guess by letting my son stay without working or expecting (rather than hoping) that he would want to be responsible let him down in the end. Hopefully now he will continue with his responsibilities in his own apartment.