Talk about your troubles

[just1paul]

famita - Please please accept my thoughts and prayers on the tragic loss of your son.

roseskid - Wow. neato earrings. seriously though i do hope you find some relief soon.

[owlie]

My beautiful baby girl was stillborn on Feb. 7. She was born two weeks before her due date. From what we know so far, there was no obvious reason why she died. Fortunately most of my family and my husband's family were able to come to the hospital to see and hold her.

But the wife of one of my colleagues had a baby girl on the weekend (we were due only days apart) and I feel like a horrible person because I am so angry and resentful that they have their baby and we don't...

[just1paul]

From what I understand your feelings are absolutely normal owlie. My prayers to you on the loss of the baby girl.

[AJane]

owlie, I'm so sorry to hear that. How utterly devastating, and my deepest condolences to you and your husband and family. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a horrible person to have feelings of resentment towards your colleague's family. I think that as new parents, they would completely understand how you feel right now.

[dagwood]

Owlie, you have my condolences.

[canuckinchile]

Owlie, my heartfelt condolences Your feelings are completely normal.

[MamaC]

Wow, what troubles have been posted.

Famita, like everyone else has stated, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

Owlie, you too have been struck by one of life's worst tragedies. I cannot blame you for feeling the way you do. As others have said, it is completely normal to feel as you do. I had several miscarriages along the way, and it always seemed that everyone else was having their babies while I was mourning mine.

Rose, hope your doc has some more options for you to follow. My sister had surgery last year on C5-C7 and did remarkably well. She did PT prior to surgery hoping to avoid having to go under the knife. Did PT after surgery as well and has made a complete recovery. A cousin's husband, however, also had surgery about 8 years ago now for degenerative disc disease. His symptoms were mainly in his hand and leg. After a lot of PT, his hand is pretty functional again, but he does still have problems with his foot....dragging it, tripping on sidewalks, etc., if that makes any sense. But the surgery did stop the progression, so they look at it as a blessing in that regard. Neither my sister nor my cousin live near me, so I don't know what kind of treatments they had to go through to get to where they are today. Good luck!

[ScoutMom]

owlie - I was in a similar situation, but from the other side. When I was pregnant with my son, who is now 17, a co-worker/friend was also pregnant at the same time. We were only a couple of weeks apart in our due dates. When we were about 7 months pregnant, my friend's son died in utero. No explanation - no reason found; he just died. Obviously, she and her husband were devastated. I was dreading the first time I would have to see her as I felt SO horrible for her and I was obviously still pregnant. I knew that it had to be torture for her to just see me. We used to talk all the time about our babies, how we were feeling, how uncomfortable we were, etc. We were able to get past the difficult times and are still friends today. Your feelings towards your colleague's wife are completely understandable and normal. How could you not feel that way? But I think she is probably feeling pretty uncomfortable around you right now, and you should try to understand that also.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you mourn your loss. Come to the Fort and share any time you need to. There's always someone here to listen.

[MRD]

Owlie,
My deepest condolences. I am so very sorry you are going through this.

But as everyone has said, your feelings are normal. I've had 3 miscarriages and had the same feelings you have had about friends or co-workers who didn't go through that.

I'm so glad you have family with you at this time.

[Lois Lane]

Roseskid, I don't know anything about physical therapy but wanted to wish you the best...and I hope that you find relief again soon!

Owlie, my condolences to you on your tragic loss. Just because you feel like a horrible person doesn't mean that you are. What you are feeling is natural...and I'm sure your friends understand that it is a difficult time for you. After one of my miscarriages, it seemed that everyone I knew was pregnant, got pregnant, or just had a baby. One of my close friends got pregnant the same weekend I lost my baby. She didn't tell me for months that she was pregnant 'cause she felt so guilty...I figured it out in her second trimester. I was very happy for her...but also sad for me. Those two feelings aren't mutually exclusive.

It's difficult to accept the death of an innocent child because there often are no reasons for it. A senior citizen might pass away from old age. But a baby? Please do know that your feelings are normal. And if you decide to try to have another baby, please understand that that likelihood of having a "normal" and uneventful pregnancy is very likely. One of my friends had a stillborn baby (her second child). A year and a half later, when she was 41, she was pregnant again and gave birth to a healthy, screaming, baby girl.

Again, my deepest condolences on your loss. Please do take care of yourself...