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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #531
    Former Exile :o) ToothDoc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvaLaruefan
    There's nothing I really want to discuss yet but I do want to say I'm having a pretty bad day, feeling sad and blue (really doesn't happen often so it is worth posting when it does~lol)

    You guys seem to always put a smile on my face so I just wanted to say thanks to my FORTers
    Eva, I'm sorry you are having a blue day. I hope you are feeling better. If you want to PM me I'll be happy to listen to you.

    toothdoc

  2. #532
    FORT Fanatic weathergirl91's Avatar
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    It looks like this is the right forum for sharing our troubles (good idea, by the way). I'm 13 and new in my school district this year. There was this girl I was "best friends" with (she was also new) but now she's met another friend, which is fine, but we're not really friends anymore. She will ignore me all day long (by laughing and hanging out with her new friend, who doesn't like me, and then pretend like I ignored her). She says she doesn't want to take sides, but when her other friend cusses me out (like I accidentally bumped into her and said "sorry!") she either laughs when I'm being yelled at, or she'll just look on and not say anything. My problem is how to go about the day and act like I really don't care. My mom and dad say that I can't give her any power over me, so I need to be friendly and polite at all times. But my feelings are still hurt (I haven't made any other friends yet).

  3. #533
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Ah, Cory, I'm sorry. That's not fun. I'm sorry your former friend can't act any more mature than that. Trust me, I have grown up friends who do the same sort of ridiculous things. You said you haven't made any new friends yet. Are you involved in any school or extracurricular activities? That's usually the best way to make friends. I went to a college 3000 miles away from home where I didn't know any of the other incoming students. Plus, I was then (and to some extent still am) extremely shy. The first semester was pretty miserable for me (there were some other reasons it was miserable). Then, at the beginning of January, softball practice started. I made a few good friends on the team and became friends with their friends and, I really started to enjoy myself. Hang in there.
    Last edited by Mariner; 01-07-2005 at 04:45 PM.

  4. #534
    FORT Fanatic weathergirl91's Avatar
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    Thank you Mariner. I am sure I will make new friends sometime soon. I am glad you made friends when you went to College. I dont really play any sports. I am not the athletic type. lol. I do talk to some people, but the next day they can be jerks. I manage to get over it though. It is just hard to see her acting like that, whenever her new friend is around...especially cause the new friend trys all she can to make me mad. I dont show her I am mad though. lol. Thanks again for your reply!

    Cory
    Last edited by weathergirl91; 01-07-2005 at 05:07 PM.

  5. #535
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    Quote Originally Posted by weathergirl91
    Thank you Mariner. I am sure I will make new friends sometime soon. I am glad you made friends when you went to College. I dont really play any sports. I am not the athletic type. lol. Thank you again for your reply, and hopefully I will not have to worry about my friend anymore. lol

    Cory
    Cory,
    That's just the activity that happened to work for me. Do you sing? Do anything else musical? Is there any community activity you might be interested in? Do you like to paint, or draw? Is there any sort of a school newspaper you could get involved in?

  6. #536
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Awwww, Cory, we've all been the new girl (or guy) at sometime, and it can be tough. Mariner is giving good advice...try to not be so eager to latch on to someone. Check out clubs on campus, they can be a terrific way of finding others with the same interests as you. In the meantime, try to stay positive (as you are), and know that there are other kids in school who are waiting to meet you, too.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  7. #537
    Caged Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion Maveno's Avatar
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    Hi Cory! Sorry to hear that you've been bummed out by your "friend" and how she's been acting around you. I had a friend way back in high school that did the same thing. I was new at the school also. What helped me is I told her that it bothered me that she wasn't talking to me anymore and how she was spending more time with someone else. She listened and acted like I was "crazy" for thinking that.. so I just ended the convo with, "Well, if I'm being stupid about it..then I'm sure I'll get over it but I just wanted to let you know that I really thought you were a good friend and I had a lot of fun with you".. Believe it or not, she actually started hanging out with again.
    Sometimes (even if it sounds odd), friends don't even have a clue how they're making you feel.

    Hope it all turns out better for you! Also, if it doesn't work out between you two..maybe she isn't the best of 'friends' to have in the first place. The best friends that I found, were the LEAST people that I expected!

    Keep your chin up!
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
    life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

  8. #538
    FORT Fanatic weathergirl91's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maveno
    Hi Cory! I was new at the school also. What helped me is I told her that it bothered me that she wasn't talking to me anymore and how she was spending more time with someone else. She listened and acted like I was "crazy" for thinking that.. so I just ended the convo with, "Well, if I'm being stupid about it..then I'm sure I'll get over it but I just wanted to let you know that I really thought you were a good friend and I had a lot of fun with you".. Sometimes (even if it sounds odd), friends don't even have a clue how they're making you feel.
    Keep your chin up!
    Thank you very much for your advice. You are ALL so helpful. She knows how I feel though. Thats another thing that makes me mad. But I will get over it. Some people who I thought would never be my friends, actually are becoming my friends now...lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by roseskid
    Awwww, Cory, we've all been the new (or guy) at sometime, and it can be tough. Mariner is giving good advice...try to not be so eager to latch on to someone. Check out clubs on campus, they can be a terrific way of finding others with the same interests as you. In the meantime, try to stay positive (as you are), and know that there are other kids in school who are waiting to meet you, too.
    you're right, Mariner is giving very good advice. lol. I am going to join up into some clubs when I get into 9th grade. I am in 2 right now, but the people in them I am not really friends with. Only aquaintences (incorrect spelling) I am thinking of trying out for volleyball or softball, but I am not quite sure yet. Thank you very much for your advice!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mariner
    Do you sing? Do anything else musical? Is there any community activity you might be interested in? Do you like to paint, or draw? Is there any sort of a school newspaper you could get involved in?
    I am in chorus, but I dont really have many friends in that. Only some people that I talk to, but I barely see them at school. I am in the school newspaper, and I have one good friend in that. I mean, I have people to talk to now, but the thing that made me upset was the fact that I put all my eggs into one basket- by having one friend at first- the friend who isnt a friend anymore. lol. Thank you very much for your help and tips!!
    Last edited by weathergirl91; 01-07-2005 at 07:22 PM.

  9. #539
    FORT Fogey Glitternerfball's Avatar
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    Okay, think I'll vent here

    I work in a hospital. I'm listed as 'staff assistant'. I was hired to help create the manuals and a quality assurance department as now there are no rules set down for these doctors, and it's in bone marrow transplant - yes people have died from the errors these doctors (and others) did because they are not being monitored. I was not expected to be embraced by the doctors here. It was to be a 1 1/2 year thing while I finish my masters.

    Now, suddenly, the woman that is the admin assistant to the director is insisting that she is my boss. I am supposed to work outside the department and am immediately responsible to the associate director who is in charge of the accountability project. However she was told she can't sign my timesheet. I have to not only clock in every day, but they have a biometric scanner coming in and out, so I don't see the need to have someone sign my timesheet when they are fingerprinting me twice a day to track my hours.

    Anyway, this admin is yelling at me that she is my supervisor and I am to report only to her and can no longer speak to anyone about this except for her. (there is a history of her screwing with me, she called me in to her office when I started and said that i am not to trust anyone but her, that they are all out to get me despite seeming like they are working hard and that they have already started saying bad things about me. She also told the director, after I confronted 'higher ups' about her pawning her work off on me and telling me It was coming from him, and she told him I was incompetent and needed something to do because I was just online all day - I didn't have internet access at that time, so it was an utter lie, she also tried to steal a computer ordered for the other person I work with).

    anyway, Yesterday I was on line with my dermatologist trying desperately to get an appointment because I was told I have to have two moles removed. She calls and yells " I want your timesheet now" I put her on hold to finish the appt. because I live in NYC and it's hard as hell to get a doctor on the line. As I had set it up a while ago with the administrator of her department that she is not to sign my timesheet, I didn't give it to her. Oh, and she hung up before I could pick her off hold, which I didn't mind.

    So this morning I get in to a message stating "when I ask for your timesheet you are to give it to me immediately, no questions ask. You are to do as I say and you can no longer put me on hold again" in a very rude voice (and there was more to it, like she wanted it on her desk that morning - and she didn't even come in.)

    I also found out today that the administrator I've been talking too quit and there is no replacement.

    What do I do? This woman is a power-crazed ass and I only have this semester to go before I qualify for my teaching certification and leave. She is an admin asst. craving power and has zeroed in on me. I'm almost ready to walk, but want the benefits. I also get flexibility in times for work, which is great for college, and health benefits, but man- she has to go!

    Also, to add to this, the administrator told me that the hospital wanted to fire her. But she came with the director, so they did a background check and found out she and he are 'more than co-workers' and he has covered for many of her mistakes in the past and left positions where she was asked to leave. As they paid a lot of money to recruit this guy, he said they weighed the costs of her vs. the costs of losing him and found it wasn't worth it. So it's not like she'll be fired despite her incompetence, despite the fact that EVERYONE, even the higher ups admit she is worthless in the job and actually hinders it. And oh yeah, meanwhile - PATIENTS ARE DYING! I don't understand how money is worth more than this to them.

    Any of you guys hiring out there?

  10. #540
    CCL
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    Climbing Solsbury Hill CCL's Avatar
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    That sucks, Glitter. Why is it always the incompetent workers who are never in danger of losing their jobs? I've got no job to offer but I will give you a
    Hope things get better.

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