Talk about your troubles

[snickertink]

Sushifan, I did my first Thanksgiving a few years ago (after taking a new job and a severe paycut for my sanity ) I don't know if you have anytime at all but maybe over the next year or so you could try this for your next dinner or even this one. I like to junk hunt - go to thrift stores and I found ALL of my serving dishes at places like that. Beautiful pieces that while they didn't match "match" they did tye into my dishes and my kitchen. Boy did I have a ball hunting for the perfect bowl to serve mashed taters, or gravy boat. none of it cost more than a couple bucks a piece and my table was beautiful! You know Martha is always throwing together stuff that doesn't match, that is the new thang! Besides think of the stories you could have for each interesting and amazing piece you have collected.
Relax! somehow on Thanksgiving everything taste perfect when you are with people you love.

[Google]

 

[Gutmutter]

Originally Posted by sushifan

Hi, I'm sushifan and I'm new. ("Hi, Sushifan") Just wanted to talk about some stuff that's on my mind.

(1) I'm working 14-hour days and I'm burnt out -- but I feel like I can't complain to anyone about it because I get paid a lot of money to do this job. I'm very thankful for the paycheck but if this doesn't get better I may have to walk away soon. What sucks is that every time I talk about switching jobs, my dad tells me I'd be an idiot to leave because I'd be giving up all this money. Sigh . . .

(2) I'm cooking Thanksgiving next week for 15 people and feel totally overwhelmed. I just unpacked my china from the wedding and we don't have everything we need . . . and there's no time to get it. I have no tablecloth and I'm not sure I have enough serving dishes. I'm going to be a disaster!

(3) Finally, I would really, really like to lose the ten pounds I have gained since my wedding, but I have a hard time motivating to lose it when I'm working so hard and am so unhappy at work. I could really use a motivation buddy, but my husband loves ice cream and fried chicken. Double sigh . . .

Thanks for listening.

I just read an article about happiness and the lack thereof in polled Americans who have more than enough money. When asked what things did make them happy, money was never the answer - it was most often what they did for others who were less advantaged. So after the holidays, take some "me" time and sort things out. Do you know the story about the teacher who took a gallon glass jar and filled it with fist sized rocks? He asked his students if it was full and they said yes. Then he took small gravel and poured it in, shaking it to fit between the rocks. Was it full then? He took sand and poured it in, shaking to fit between the gravel all the way up to the neck. Full now? Then he took water and poured it in to the top. What was the lesson? A student suggested it was that you can always fit more in, but the teacher said no. The lesson was that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you will never fit them in. So what are your "big rocks"? What do you want to do in this life? Help others? Start a family? Your dad had a chance to make all his own decisions. He doesn't get to make yours too. Thanksgiving should be a time of joy. Can you ask guests to bring things?... an appetizer tray, a pie, a salad. You may find that they would be happy to bring their favorite signature dish. I have a curried cranberry relish made with honey that is wonderful! I'd be happy to bring that if someone were hosting TG - and I'd bring it in my own serving bowl! If you belong to a church I can guarantee they have dozens of serving bowls you could probably borrow for the day. So does the old lady next door and your mother-in-law. Who lives close by enough to ask? If it all starts rushing toward you, remind yourself that the day will come and then it will be gone and in the past. Roll with it. As for the weight, do you belong to a YMCA? That's a good place to start. Weight Watchers also has a lot of success and is a good place to meet a motivation buddy. That's my 2 cents. Hope something in there helps. PM me if you want to chat.

[Newfherder]

2) I'm cooking Thanksgiving next week for 15 people and feel totally overwhelmed. I just unpacked my china from the wedding and we don't have everything we need . . . and there's no time to get it. I have no tablecloth and I'm not sure I have enough serving dishes. I'm going to be a disaster!

Repeat after me: Disaster is GOOD! Disaster is GOOD! Disaster is GOOD!

Suppose you pull off the perfect Martha Stewart Thanksgiving meal. You've just set the standard up to which you will forever be expected to perform. Each year, you'll pressure yourself to do more--a fancier centerpiece, more (and more elaborate) side dishes, and so on. You set yourself up in a can't-win situation.

On the other hand, if something goes badly, you have no where to go but up, and if you're really lucky, you won't be asked again to prepare the T-day meal. Every guy in America knows what I mean--that's how we get out of many household chores--screw it up so badly that it's easier for someone else to do it themselves (incidently, that's a secret, so after you read this post, either eat it or burn it.)

My best advice is to decide what is essential, and stick with just that. I remember lots of Thanksgivings, but I remember very little about the food that was served (except the year that I stunned my mother by cooking the turkey for her.) It isn't about matched serving dishes or 53 different side dishes or Martha Stewart perfection; it is about family and giving thanks.

[burntbrat]

sushifan, there's some great advice on here for you. On Thanksgiving, don't be afraid to ask for help! If your mom or your mother-in-law is around I'm sure they would be honored if you asked them to help out in the kitchen with the cooking and serving. I know my mothers are always just itching for the chance to be asked.

And fourteen hour days is way too much. Can you cut back on your hours at work without losing your job? If it's a job you really love try to work it out so that it allows you to have a life as well. If not, you just can't keep working those hours, honey. Nobody can. That leaves, what, two hours a day for showering and relaxing and grocery shopping and cleaning house? No way. Your life should NOT be work all the time.

[SuperBrat]

Sushifan: And if all else fails... you can always ask everybody coming to bring a side dish. That's what we do at our family thanksgivings. My grandma makes the turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing, and everybody else in the family brings sides, like salads and vegetable platters and such.

[doxie]

Sushifan: Don't worry about the tablecloth. Chances are, the table will be so covered with china and glasses and food that no one will notice it. I actually used a nicely ironed sheet as a tablecloth the first time I hosted Thanksgiving.

You might want to check out the FORT recipe thread too. Very helpful!
Good luck.

[myrosiedog]

Newf,

If I didn't know better, I'd think I was married to YOU!

Not only does my husband subscribe to your "secret" of purposely screwing things up (however it didn't take me long to figure that one out, but its taken him 21 years and he still hasn't learned n ot to listen to my directions in the car because they are always wrong), but when I mentioned Eule Gibbons to him last night, he also said: "many parts of the pine tree are edible"

I'm starting to wonder now if my husband really isn't in construction but has a secret life during the day as a surveyor, Opera aficianao and an OSU fan.

Sushi,

You'll have a great Thanksgiving. Everyone has given great advice and I'm going to do what Snickertink said and hit the thrift stores. I could use a few more serving pieces. And a hint. You can also find beautiful and sometimes antique linens in yard sales and thrift stores, etc. I have found some that were yellowed and stained, but with the right treatment, a good wash and iron, they now look great. And were cheaper than even Walmart and way better quality.

[Newfherder]

If I didn't know better, I'd think I was married to YOU!

Oh, you'd know, alright! For one thing, you'd spend a lot more time in this thread

[sushifan]

Wow, thank you everyone!! I had no idea so many people would respond! Your words really cheered me up. I have decided a few things:

(1) My mom and MIL have said they are happy to bring dishes if I'd like. I will take them up on that!

(2) Since I make a lot of money right now, I will use that to cater some of the dishes. I will also try to donate some of our extra food to people in need. Maybe a local church would take it? I'll have to call.

(3) I know the job is too much. I feel like a wuss for saying this, but if success means I have to work this much, I'm not cut out for success. My grandparents have been really sick lately -- they are close to death -- and going through that process with them has shown me what is really important in life. Their room in the nursing facility is filled with pictures of their family -- not paychecks or dollar bills. I have only one life to live on this planet and I don't want to spend all of it locked in an office!

I'll have to find that recipe thread. Thanks again to all of you for caring about a stranger.

[Newfherder]

Thanks again to all of you for caring about a stranger

You're no stranger than the rest of us