Wow, katgib, what a lot of news you have...
I've heard a lot about the bad effects of increasing/decreasing Effexor. It can be an amazing med but it comes with a price. I'm so very sorry you're having to go through that.
You can sure pat yourself on the back for handling that, while still recovering from all those little ones, and while still appreciating the fabulous news about your brother.
I hope things become much more comfortable for you soon.