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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #4301
    PWS
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Gracie--I'm with the stick it out crowd. Maybe the pain member won't be re-elected! You really want that health insurance given how the govt. is playing with Medicare these days. And why should one pain drive you out of a job you like otherwise--don't give 'em the satisfaction!
    Unk--my SO had the IT band problem--a very common runner's injury apparently. The PT exercises involved some very weird looking twists let me tell you--pretzel city. The goal being to stretch things out. It can be a recurrent thing, especially if you go back too soon.

  2. #4302
    Fort Fashion Expert Kirsten1526's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So I am kind of looking for advice. My boyfriend and I had a big fight the other day about strip clubs. He has been before; I don't know how long ago was the last time. He has never been since we've been together. However, he said occaisionally his guy friends will want to go and he goes with them. I told him how much I dislike those places and I have very high morals. I told him I couldn't be with anyone that goes. He said he doesn't like that I would try to control him and tell him what he can't or can do. He said he only goes to hang out with friends, he never gets a lap dance, and he sure as hell doesn't go to look at girls. He says it's just another place to hang out with friends. But it would make me feel cheated on if he went. The reasons I give for not wanting him to go are all emotional based. I really don't want him to go. He hasn't expressed interest in going any time soon but I am scared that he might to test the relationship. What should I do? I am thinking about breaking up with him but I really care for him.

  3. #4303
    Amethyst Amy Lee's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So he goes but not to "look at girls"? then what, to stare his friends in the face?
    You can't go to rome and not go native, at the very least he could be honest about it. He could hang out with his friends when they to bars or other places, he goes there with them because he wants to.
    You can't make him do things he doesn't want to do but you also don't have to tolerate anything that makes you uncomfortable.
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  4. #4304
    Fort Fashion Expert Kirsten1526's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    He says he doesn't want to. Then he asks if I have trust issues with him. He said he's even been with his friends and while they get dances, he will talk to a girl about life and ask for advice. I just said that I prefered he didn't go at all. He says he's had girls that are all over him and he hasn't reacted to that so what makes me believe he will be different there. Then he says he already has high morals and wouldn't ever date a girl like that or look at them in that way because of what they do, but I still don't understand why he would want to go. It's a bad place. The end of the story. I guess he just doesn't want to look controlled in front of his friends? I don't know. Part of me thinks he wouldn't go even if someone offered because he doesn't want to ruin our relationship, but another part of me worries.

  5. #4305
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    My gut reaction is that he discussed this with you because he is contemplating going to a strip club with his friends soon possibly because he's getting kidded by his friends because he refuses.

    He should just tell his buddies ... those lapdancers would have to pay him before he would choose them over you.

    You could reverse it on him and ask him how he would feel if you were considering being a lapdancer because your friends were all doing it.

    Tell him it's not about control, it's about respect for each other.
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

  6. #4306
    Fort Fashion Expert Kirsten1526's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I brought it up. I found some dvds of his that were porn. I told him I didn't like it. He said he didn't watch it often. I said I hope he grows out of it even though it still makes me feel ugly that he would do stuff like that. He said I shouldn't try to change him. I told him at least he didn't go to strip clubs and that's when we had the conversation about that.

  7. #4307
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I go back to see the surgeon today about my hernia. I am very, very apprehensive about this surgery for some reason. I just don't have a good feeling. I've had surgery in the past and never felt the way I do now.
    I liked the surgeon very much and trust him, so its not that. I really can't explain it, but I'm really having difficulty with this right now.
    I'm nervous just getting ready to go to the dr. office and believe it or not, feel like I could just break into tears at any moment. I just don't understand why I am feeling this way, but I am really scared.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  8. #4308
    Resident curmudgeon Newfherder's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Hang in there! You're one of the rocks of FoRT!
    "The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."
    --Marion Zimmer Bradley

  9. #4309
    FORT Fogey ScoutMom's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    MRD - I'm so sorry you're so apprehensive about this. I'm sure you know that hernia surgery is a relatively easy surgery compared to some others surgeries, and it's something that is done every day. I hope you know that God is always with you and will help to ease your fears if you only ask Him. I'll be keeping you in my prayers as well.

  10. #4310
    I Is Stephanie
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Kristen...I do believe (so someone correct me if I'm wrong), that PGM35 is going through an issue not unlike this one in the Relationship Challenged thread.

    MRD-I've learned to trust my gut. All this humanoid ignoring the th sense seems pointless to me, when we ignore it something horrible happens.
    ...And the strange boy continued to weave in and out of her life, leaving her with a sense of wonder and amazment, but also, a feeling of loss, knowing that life might never be the same again.

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