Talk about your troubles

[Lois Lane]

myrosiedog, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he feels better soon, and that they are able to ease his pain.

[misskitty]

Oh my dear myrosiedog! What sad news for you and your hubby.

I do hope that the military upgrades his records and provides appropriate support. It is good though that you now know what needs to be fixed. And hopefully, fixing one thing at a time will have your husband feeling better longer in the future. If he can get some new vocational training that will not aggravate his injuries, that too might be a welcome change. If anyone can find a bright side, I know you can, my dear. .

I'm sure your hubby is very happy to have you by his side supporting him at this time.

[MRD]

THanks all. We knew going in that he was going to hear bad news, we just didn't think it was this bad. I mean, none of it's life threatening and I thank God for that. But we went with the expectation that he would be examined and they'd say: you need physical therapy or Celebrex or something easy. We had NO idea that his bones were in such bad shape.
If any of you know anyone considering going into the Army and joining the 82nd Airborne Division, tell them to think again, because down the road, those jumps are going to take a toll on every bone in your body.

The dr. also told him that a lot of pro atheletes also have "older" bodies than their chronological age due to the stress of the sport and the injuries.

We'll get through this like everything else. He's physically and mentally strong. He's in good shape otherwise. The dr. says his muscle strength has kept him from feeling it as badly if he wasn't in such good shape, so that is on his side and he's very determined, so he will do what it takes because he doesn't want to end up being crippled by arthritis. He will more than likely be getting physical therapy as well, we'll know more soon.

I guess it just kind of got to me as he has ALWAYS been the strong one, the determined one and the one that I've leaned on. He's rarely sick and when he is, he usually works right on through it. I've seen the man stitch himself up from small construction accidents. Nothing major, usually 2-3 stitches, but I know I couldn't do that. So its like this rock has started to crumble a bit and that's hard for both of us. But again, we will make the best of it. And the VA here is more than willing and able to help. He told me today that in all the years he's dealt with the VA, that this hospital was the best of the lot. Very efficient, friendly, etc. (of course, they may all be getting like this due to that Walter Reed thing).

Anyway, thanks. I needed to kind of vent and I didn't want him to hear me whine because I want to be strong for him like he's been for me.
It'll be ok. I have faith. So does he.

[misskitty]

MRD: You know, they are very good with joint replacements these days. I know several seniors who have had knees, hips, and even a steel rod placed in their back, and they feel better and are more active than ever. Not to say it's a picnic or anything.

I'm glad your husband is still young and in good shape as he will benefit from that even through any necessary surgeries and physio therapy. You are a very strong person too. Remember, behind the man is always a strong woman! And that's you! :gruophug

[Amy Lee]

remote, would it help at all to maybe suggest a double date with them and she could SEE again how much you are into your sweetie? I'm guessing your Ex talks about you favorably--without even realizing that he's doing it--and she's insecure and jealous. I wish he'd point out to her that there are no "usuals" when it comes to divorce. I have friends who are divorced (no children involved) but are still the best of friends with each other, even going on vacations with each other. They both date other people, but they will always have a great friendship (and it's completely non sexual!). They didn't work as a married couple but they have a long history together as friends.

Disagree with the date idea. The girlfriend(nothing and no one imo) is not someone that should have folks catering to her. Hell, i wouldn't have even approached her about anything because it's obvious she's just being an insecure mess. Your ex should've stepped up and done something about it. Furthermore, if he hurts his relationship with his children in the course, it's up to him to fix it. When you're an adult, their are no more excuses.

[just1paul]

Disagree with the date idea. The girlfriend(nothing and no one imo) is not someone that should have folks catering to her. Hell, i wouldn't have even approached her about anything because it's obvious she's just being an insecure mess. Your ex should've stepped up and done something about it. Furthermore, if he hurts his relationship with his children in the course, it's up to him to fix it. When you're an adult, their are no more excuses.

I also disagree with the date idea, as I see the girlfriend trying to MAKE you both HATE each other. The ex really needs to tell her to chill out because it is the kids that matter in this case as Judge Judy would say and the girlfriend has NOTHING to say.

[MRD]

MRD: You know, they are very good with joint replacements these days. I know several seniors who have had knees, hips, and even a steel rod placed in their back, and they feel better and are more active than ever. Not to say it's a picnic or anything.

I'm glad your husband is still young and in good shape as he will benefit from that even through any necessary surgeries and physio therapy. You are a very strong person too. Remember, behind the man is always a strong woman! And that's you! :gruophug

My dad had a hip replaced in the early 1980's and it was great.
What worries my husband is the elbow replacement. They are not as good as the knee and hips, they are not able to take the stress of carrying much. The dr. told him that after the elbow replacement, he would only be able to left 10 pounds or less. This is also his predominant arm and hand, the one he writes with and the one he makes a living with, so hearing that news was tatamount to hearing: you will need another job because after the elbow replacement, you cannot do what you've been doing for the past 25 years.
He said that he'd rather go on with what he has now and put off the elbow replacement as long as possible because right now, even though its bad, he can still do a lot that he won't be able to do afterwards.

I appreciate everyone's encouragement, just pray that they can do something about the elbow that won't cause the kinds of problems afterwards he's worried about.

[ScoutMom]

I hope things work out for your husband. Who knows? If he can get into the vocational rehab thing, he may end up finding something that he really likes to do. I think it's the fear of the unknown that makes it so upsetting. I will definitely keep your family in my thoughts.

[cricketeen]

Mrd - . I have heard the quality of care at the VA has been steadily improving over the years. I'm glad he's with a good one! You hang in there and come vent anytime you need.

[combatcutie]

myrosiedog, I'm sorry you and the family are going through this. You guys definitely had a very hard year. I will keep you in my prayers