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  1. #3561
    FORT Fogey cricketeen's Avatar
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    My thought was to donate it in his name (find his address and include it). He will get the thank you and know that you didn't keep the $$. Gabriel's advice is good - you never know about people. Document everything.
    "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

  2. #3562
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    Quote Originally Posted by cricketeen;2190489;
    My thought was to donate it in his name (find his address and include it). He will get the thank you and know that you didn't keep the $$. Gabriel's advice is good - you never know about people. Document everything.
    Hey, this is what I was going to post! Great minds!!

    I think donating it in his name with his address attached is the idea. Then the charity will send him a thank you note and he will get the message. And some good will come of the money.

    Do document just in case though.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  3. #3563
    FORT Fogey ScoutMom's Avatar
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    I definitely agree about documenting everything. If he hadn't left, you could have gone to his boss and complained. I had to do that once, and it worked. But since he's not working there anymore, that won't work. I think you either send it back to him or donate it to charity in his name. Either way, he should get the message. By documenting everything, if he doesn't get the message and keeps pursuing you, then you have evidence for a restraining order, as gabriel said. I hope this all works out for you.

  4. #3564
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog;2190504;
    Hey, this is what I was going to post! Great minds!!

    I think donating it in his name with his address attached is the idea. Then the charity will send him a thank you note and he will get the message. And some good will come of the money.

    Do document just in case though.
    but then again he might NOT get the message, and think he is doing HER a favor if he starts donating to that cause trying to "endear" himself. I say send it back. It's cut & dried.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

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    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  5. #3565
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    What about donating the money in the name of "Mr. and Mrs. Doe"? I don't know...just throwing things out there.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  6. #3566
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
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    I agree with giving it back. His address is probably in someone's rolodex at the office or he may be in the phone book. I like the "from the boys at the office" idea but he may not realize you were the one giving it back. You could always say you were cleaning out the desks and "found" it in his desk and want to return it. I don't know though, no matter how you do it, if he's still with his wife she's bound to be suspicious by it if she opens the mail. But you can't worry about that, you have to do what eases your own conscience.

  7. #3567
    On a cupcake mission! Lois Lane's Avatar
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    This is a rough situation. I say do what you feel most comfortable with. I would probably donate the money to charity and just leave it at that. He hasn't done this on a continual basis so that's good...but...I agree that you need to keep records of this (including that note he sent you--you might want to scan that note in with the $100 bill he gave you--just in case, so you have a record of it).

  8. #3568
    FORT Fogey misskitty's Avatar
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    I'd make of note of what's happened, copy the bill, and send it back to him saying No, and please do not contact me. I feel bad for him as it sounds like he is in need of a good friend but he has problems you do not need to solve for him. Maybe attach a phone number or card to a resource centre for someone for him to talk to.
    Live simply ~ Love generously~ Care deeply~ Speak kindly

  9. #3569
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieComic Fan;2190576;
    I don't know though, no matter how you do it, if he's still with his wife she's bound to be suspicious by it if she opens the mail. But you can't worry about that, you have to do what eases your own conscience.
    That's what was bugging me about just sending it back; I don't know enough about the marriage problems to speculate, but since he won't be working at night at least for now, thre could be a chance they could reconnect. The thing is, we've never discussed problems, family, anything like that, just work concerns and small talk (vacations, weather, news, etc) so I think that's why he might think 'the grass is greener over there".
    I'm sure he would know who it's from if I just sent it 'from work", and if not, at least I don't have to feel weird keeping an unwanted gift. I doubt he will try to contact me anymore, after all he waited several years and till he was retiring to try one more time.
    My problem is mostly the wrong-ness I feel in keeping a gift of money etc. I know I can handle myself if he were actually dumb enough to call over here or show up, that's the least of my worries! I didn't mean to imply that I was afraid I'd get stalked or anything.
    I just feel bad, and think the man's situation is sad--
    Thanks for everyone's input, I've already Googled the address and will be mailing it back.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  10. #3570
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    In my opinion this is borderline stalking.

    You could donate it to your local Police Department's fundraiser in his name. ( Our community has a local Police Appreciation Dinner that also serves as a fundraiser. I'd send 2 tickets addressed to Mr & Mrs. )

    You could also just put it in an envelope, seal it and put his name on it and turn it in to the Police Lost and Found. :

    And oh yes, I agree with documenting everything, and I think I would "consult" your local Police about how this should be handled. You could explain that you believe he is probably harmless, but at least there would be a record.
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

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