Yes, my daughter is a great kid, and so far has made good friends. She makes honor roll and is pretty responsible. But...we have only gone through her first year of Jr. High. She can change a lot within the next few years, but that can happen anywhere I guess.
My FIL is not trying to meddle- trust me. He is a wonderful man and has never interfered with our marriage or our childrearing. However, as I said in an earlier post- he and my deceased MIL grew up going to Catholic schools, as did my husband and his siblings. It's just that they truly believe in that kind of education (more with the religious aspect than anything). He knows we can't afford to do it, so I think he's just trying to help. Many parents would jump at this chance and I feel lucky he wants the best (what he sees as the best) for his grandchildren. I don't think he can even wrap his mind around a public education
The one problem I see is that she is setting the future up for her sisters as well. I don't think I can not make her go, but then have to deal with the other two who may want to. So, what we decide for her will impact the other two for the next 8 years. (does that make sense)
Anyway- a lot to think about, and thanks again for the input- I really do take advice from all of you to heart.
And on the Priest comment and what they can teach them. I agree!
I don't understand. If she's happy where she is, why would you need to make her change on the off chance that her sisters might like the other way better? Is it absolutely necessary that they all attend the same school? And there's always the possibility that you make her move, then a couple of years down the road, #2 daughter doesn't want to move either, but has to, then same with #3. I just think maybe you have to deal with one kid at a time and not make a blanket decision that may, or may not, be a popular one.
I am not for yanking her from her school unless she is a willing participant. If we do that against her will, what good can come of it? However, I have always wanted a Catholic education for my children, and I'm given the opportunity. (see where my heart and my head are colliding?) As a matter of fact, when she was going into 1st grade we almost got her into a Catholic school, but we lost the lottery and were not able to attend. Too many kids, very few spots. I only want what is best for her as far as keeping her where she is comfortable and thriving, but yet I want a structured, strict religious education for her as well. (and for my other two also)
There is no reason that she can't just stay where she is, and the other two go to the Catholic school, however, most kids won't *willingly* go to a private school with strict rules and uniforms. You see what I mean? And it's at this point I'm struggling with the *I'm the parent and I decide what school you will go to" against the "I want you to enjoy your school and friends so you can stay put" scenario.
She is only 13 and should she be able to make huge decisions like that?
I struggle daily with keeping tabs on them and controlling their every move, to giving them the freedoms that come with getting older. (as we all do- it's hard to find a balance).
Anyway, now I'm just thinking out loud. And please don't think that I am dismissing anyone's opinions or trying to argue- it's the feedback that is helping me think this whole thing through and I appreciate all of it
I think what may be confusing is that if we choose for daughter #1 to go, they all go. They won't get a choice. I know it sounds harsh, but my guess is that in most families kids don't choose where to go to school- the parents do. Where this whole thing is a problem is that we mentioned it to her and she balked. If my FIL had suggested this years ago, we could have been working on this for awhile (like letting her know when she gets into 9th grade, she will be going to XXXX school) Unfortunately, she is now at an age where she can voice her opinions (not a 5 year old who does what you say).
The timing of it really stinks.
Do you know why he waited until now to suggest it? It does seem a little late for a huge decision like that. I agree that it should have just always been understood that they attend that school, if they were going to have to be uprooted. How much simpler it would have been if that had always been their school home.
I agree. As someone who was educated in Catholic schools for 12 years, I never even considered that I had an option. Most of the girls in my high school were educated in the Catholic school system from the start. It had to do with family tradition from as far back as I know. I started bugging my mother about attending public school in grade 10; she resisted, and then said, "OK." I ended up deciding to stay right where I was (my decision)...to my advantage. In my freshman year in college, I was at least 1.5-2 years ahead (academically) of my public school counterparts. That was interesting. At that point, I was very grateful for my pre-college education. The entire school was 200 people. And it was not all super-serious academics. We had a ball!
It's not impossible to come into Catholic school late in the game, it's just a different experience with fewer distractions.
When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!
Well, best of luck, no matter what you all decide.
I will say, from having raised three kids and helping raise three grandkids, that by high school, a kid is pretty much already trained in how they should go. And bless your FIL, but Lord have mercy, some of the wildest kids I ever knew where the girls from Catholic High School.