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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #2981
    FORT Fogey Pyramid Solitaire by Disney's Tangled Champion combatcutie's Avatar
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    myrosiedog, I'm sorry you had to endure all that in one day. Like you said, they knew where to find you for the last couple of years. Why wait until now?? And yes, you have EVERY right to be emotional. As you said, you are leaving the area and it was kind of like your final goodbye to your past area. Good luck with the move. Keep us posted on what happens with the plots
    I can only please one person a day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either

  2. #2982
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    This isn't really a trouble I have been having, but more like a request for advice.
    My Father in Law called my husband the other day and told him that our daughter needs a good Catholic education and to look into schools for her. (we agree and we have looked into them, but we decided there was no way we could afford to send 3 kids there) We are fairly happy with the schools in our area. And btw- my husband and his siblings all went to Catholic schools all of their lives, so this is where it's coming from. Anyway, we are lightly assuming that my father in law will pay for it, considering he suggested it. (and we have told him that it's not something we can afford). So, when we told my daughter, she went ballistic. She said there is no way she will change schools- she likes her school and her friends.
    If we decide to send her, she still has another year at her school until 9th grade. But, my problem is: if she is so adament about staying- should we let her. My mind says that "I'm the parent, I decide what's best!" But my heart says "she's going through the most vulnerable, insecure time of her life, where having friends and a stable group of buds is the most important thing to her, so we shouldn't force her." The unfortunate thing for me is that she is the only one of my kids who completely resists change and won't try new things. Any advice?

  3. #2983
    PWS
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    Not being Catholic, or even religious, I can't really weigh in on the value added by getting a Catholic education, but looking at it strictly as a school changing issue, unless the Catholic school really provides a better education as education....better science labs, more computers, bigger library, special art fair, whatever matters to your daughter....I think you've got a tough argument to make. If you are set on doing it, it might help to find out what percentage of the students will be new the year she is entering. If a lot of students typically come in that year that would make it a lot easier for her. You could even offer to have a get to know you gathering for the other new students, or new girls, the month before school starts. I changed schools a lot, and the hardest thing was there was no way to identify the other new students, who are the ones most open to being friends with the other newbies. You can also make an effort to make it easy for her to stay in touch with her current friends, but there's no doubt they will drift away if she's not there every day...that's life. And it will hurt.
    However if most of the students have been together since grade one and your daughter will be the only new student....that can be a very tough time to make that change, especially for someone resistant to change. And you can bet she will be more focused on making new friends and fitting in than on her studies for the first 6 months at least. Good luck.....
    Maybe this belongs more in the Oasis for parents thread. No point in borrowing trouble by calling it a trouble yet!

  4. #2984
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    Quote Originally Posted by PWS View Post
    Maybe this belongs more in the Oasis for parents thread. No point in borrowing trouble by calling it a trouble yet!
    I actually considered it, but I find that a lot of Oasis posters have smaller kids, where my kids are a bit older. (and I could be wrong, but from the reading I've done there that is the impression I have)

  5. #2985
    PWS
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    Quote Originally Posted by stinkerbell View Post
    I actually considered it, but I find that a lot of Oasis posters have smaller kids, where my kids are a bit older. (and I could be wrong, but from the reading I've done there that is the impression I have)
    That's true...I guess the parents of small kids need a break (Oasis), while the parents of big kids have troubles!

  6. #2986
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    Quote Originally Posted by PWS View Post
    That's true...I guess the parents of small kids need a break (Oasis), while the parents of big kids have troubles!
    LOL- so true. Maybe there could be different boards for different ages. Like the Oasis could be for new parents/elementary age and a pre-teen, teen board for the parents of older kids. (unless there is one and I missed it) Although I don't really like the idea of *separate boards* , it would make things easier to get feedback and whatnot from parents who have been there/going through it/ done that.

  7. #2987
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
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    A lot of parents here have kids of all ages so I'm sure that all you need to do is ask and help will arrive.

    Now about the Catholic school thing.

    I feel that that decision is between the parents, and the kid. Grandpa probably needs to let it alone. I feel for any kid who has to change schools. I did that five times in six yers and vowed that my own kids would never have to. They didn't. If your daughter is making good grades and is happy where she is, that seems like a no brainer to me.

  8. #2988
    Fort Regular angelic_one2002's Avatar
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    I agree. Why uproot your teen from one school to another....IF she is making decent grades, and has good friends. Many times, I agree with the saying.."leave well enough alone". This is a tough, tough age to make them change friends and surroundings.
    "At the beach, life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun." - anonymous

  9. #2989
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    Catholic School

    Thanks to those that responded regarding my girl trouble. It's over now. It turns out we had very incompatible communication styles anyway.
    ------------------
    Stinkerbell,

    My personal opinion is that you really should respect your daughter's wish to not change schools. I agree that if she is making the right sorts of friends and getting good grades, then you really have something to be thankful for. Plus, if she's a really good kid, she can do more as an example to others in the public school.

    The answer to the question might even be this simple. Are you proud of her? Does she know it?

  10. #2990
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    I think the daughter should just stay put, as long as she is doing well, has friends etc. Life throws too many obstacles in the way as you get older. As long as all is well,let it be. Hope this isn't too forward, but why is FIL telling son how to run family? Sounds like FIL has head stuck in middle ages. Why would a kid NEED a GOOD (?) Catholic education, to learn what priests do to kids?
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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