+ Reply to Thread
Like Tree2019Likes

Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #2971
    FORT Regular angelic_one2002's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    8,636
    I'm really sorry to hear this, Igotalife. I really do hope your insurance comes through for you. *fingers crossed*
    "Success is falling nine times and getting up ten." - Jon Bon Jovi

  2. #2972
    Thinking femme fatale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In a world of my own
    Age
    32
    Posts
    2,631
    That's terrible Igotalife. The closest I come is when my clothes were stolen, it was just clothes but some of it I had bought on different trips so they had special meaning. I can only imagine loosing a boat like that, it must be really, really hard. I'm "holding my thumbs" (Swedish version of keeping my fingers crossed) for your insurance.

  3. #2973
    avy by martinique ANTM Mega Fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    1,821
    My sister has very low self esteem, and I'm trying to help.

    You see, our whole entire family, everyone, has a very similar look. Dark hair, light eyes, light skin, etc, etc. But you see, she's quite unconventional. Very dark, curly hair, butterscoth-y skin, and dark almond-shaped eyes. My other sister has a very harsh rivalry with her (apperance wise), and as a result she's quite insecure. Does anyone have any advice?
    "What it do, Shawty?"-Natasha Galkina

  4. #2974
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893
    I've had a depressing day. One of my family members (2nd or 3rd cousin) passed away and today was the funeral. She was 92, lived a good long life and was quite a character and a fixture in my hometown. While it was sad to hear of her passing, it also wasn't because she had lived so long. Does that make sense? But what got me really upset was I got to town a little earlier than expected and ended up tormenting myself by visiting the cemetary where my family is buried. I shouldn't have done it, but I figured with this move, it would be a while before I got back there. Well one headstone is completely covered in grass (the city maintains this cemetary) and there are strangers buried in our family plot. I don't know how this happened, but we had a large plot with a border around it and now there are no more empty plots. Not that any of us left want to be buried there, but I want to know how these people came to be buried in a plot that I suppose me and my brothers now own (the lots were purchased from the city years ago) and which says Jones on the gate and on the massive monument in the center of the plot.

    After the funeral, members of the local historical (I have always called them the Hysterical Society and the name fits) descended on me like a pack of locusts. Seems they all think that I have this treasure trove of pictures, papers and artifacts that have been in my family for generations. My great-grandfather was the first mayor of this town. His house still stands and my dad was very much a family historian and literally saved EVERYTHING. BUT, I only have pictures. I don't know where some of the other stuff is. My brother and I had assumed that dad had already given it to the Historical Society before he died. And there are some valuable pieces of history and a few valuable antiques that now no one knows where they are.
    I'm moving in a month and to be honest, most of the pictures I have are packed up in a closet and have been. I'm not unpacking them just to have to pack them up again. I appreciate they want copies, but geez, tell me before now. Most of them know how to get in touch with me and could have years ago.
    And one distant family member tried to make me feel guilty about not joining the DAR or the UDC as that is my "legacy".

    So I came home feeling crappy and depressed and a little angry that my dad's stuff is missing and there are strangers in my cemetary plot. Yes mine. Even tho I am not being buried, there was a plot for each of us 4 children. And now there are none.
    And having so many people talking about my parents and grandparents just seems to stir up all those emotions about them being gone that I manage to do without on a day to day basis.

    I know this post sounds morbid and strange. But its so true, you can't go home again. It's just too damn sad.
    Sorry for the whiney post. I am just very down tonight and of course my husband does not understand why I feel this way because he has no roots or much family history as his family don't even speak to each other.
    Thanks for letting me vent.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  5. #2975
    Wishing for spring Mellon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Age
    39
    Posts
    598
    Myrosiedog I can completely understand your plight as my mom's from a very large family in a very small town & has the same sort of issues. When there's a burial, it's always in the same cemetary that all of my ancestors are buried in, and it's hard to walk past my grandparents, aunts & uncles and not reminisce & miss them terribly.

    I've learned throughout the years that grief never really goes away, it just gets buried deep within you and you push it out of your attention. When something stirs those memories, the grief returns with them but not in the same amount when it was fresh. Does that make sense?

    You're having an understandbly harder time since you're packing up and leaving everything behind & I don't blame you for being upset about the strangers in a family plot - that's just wrong in my opinion! Have a glass of wine & a bubble bath to pamper yourself tonight, it sounds like you need it.

    Buffy: What is this?
    Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too. ("Gingerbread")

    Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey! ("Buffy vs. Dracula")

  6. #2976
    PWS
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    15,854
    Strangers in your family plot? That's just weird....surely someone can explain that?
    Once you are moved, if you don't immediately have to hunt for a job or something, you could make copying those pictures a priority...give you a connection to home. And it would maybe be a be good feeling to know they will never be lost once the historical society has copies (and maybe other relatives as well?), no matter what happens re fire, flood, hurricane or whatever.

  7. #2977
    Wishing for spring Mellon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Age
    39
    Posts
    598
    That's a great idea PWS!

    Buffy: What is this?
    Willow: A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle, too. ("Gingerbread")

    Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey! ("Buffy vs. Dracula")

  8. #2978
    Wait, what? ArchieComic Fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    The Farm
    Posts
    4,791
    myrosie, I'm sorry for your troubles. Can you talk to someone in charge and find out what happened? At the least, maybe you and your siblings can be reimbursed for the loss of plot space. Some explanation needs to be given so you can have it resolved before you move. As for the pictures, you can always load them on the computer and email them to the historical society and let them print them out.

    I hope the rest of your time left in FL goes well, you deserve it!

  9. #2979
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Playing kickball for the beer
    Age
    39
    Posts
    8,870
    Myrosiedog, if you paid for those plots, you definitely should contact the town. I doubt you'd want to go so far as removing those strangers, but someone owes you an explanation and possibly some money back. My mother has already bought the plot next to my dad, and if they put someone else in there I would dig them up myself.

    My mother's family has a whole cemetery to themselves, a small one on a mountaintop that has graves of extended family going back to at least my great-great-grandparents. I actually enjoy going up there, it prompts a lot of old family stories from my grandfather.

    I do think it's a good idea to make several copies of old photos. You never know what might happen to the originals.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  10. #2980
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893
    Thanks guys. I don't mind giving the Historical society copies, but its just the timing of it. They've known where I was for the past 7 years and this is the first they thought to ask me?

    As for the cemetary plots, I am making inquiries as to how this happened.
    The entire little section was purchased in the 1930's by my family and so I don't even know where the cemetary deeds are (yes, in our town you get deeds to the plots). No, I don't want to cause another family heartache by having these people moved, but I would like to know what happened and perhaps be reimbursed for the use of the plots.

    I called my brother to tell him about it and there was complete silence from him on the phone and then both of us burst out laughing at the same time. I was angry about what happened, but the absurdity of it all hit us both: someone stole our cemetary plots!!!
    We laughed about it for a while saying that we had both had breakins with stuff stolen, had a car stolen once, had minor stuff stolen, but this is a very first, have NEVER had my cemetary plot stolen before!!

    I mean it really is funny in a weird sort of way. We both want to know how it happened, but it also hit us last night as funny as well.

    We both felt like we might be part of a Jeff Foxworthy skit: You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen someone's cemetary plot!

    At least today I am not as depressed about everything.
    And yes Mellon, what you said makes perfect sense. I think we push the grief down inside us and when something cracks it open, it does come flooding back out. But its a survival instinct to push it down because you just can't live like that every darn day.

    I'm just starting to get sentimental or nostalgic or something because our move is imminent and I'm leaving all this behind. But apparantly it wasn't terribly important to me before as I hardly ever went back home once my parents died. Well it was too painful to go back home and that's why I never did it. But I think yesterday was like the final goodbye and that is why I felt like I did.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.