Talk about your troubles

[MRD]

She's not Bi-Polar

Lambikins, there are several "degrees" of bi-polar. when most people think of bi-polar, they think that the manic episodes are such where the person does crazy, harmful things. And yes, there are people that do that.

But there is something called Bi-polar 2 where the manic phase is not exactly harmful, but more what you describe with your roommate. I know this as I have been diagnosed with that. Jane Pauley wrote a book about it because she has it. It is sometimes called hypomania. Just full of energy, feel like you can do 100things at once, but not destructive behavior like full blown mania is. ANd lethargy is a definete symptom of depression.

I would urge your roommate to seek some form of therapy with a good pyschiatric group. I see a Registered Nurse practitioner who specializes in psychiatrics. He regulates my medication. I also see a therapist. Both have helped me overcome a lot of issues and get control over the highs and lows.


Your roommate sounds an awful lot like Cameron Diaz character in "In Her Shoes" the book by Jennifer Warner that was made into a movie of the same name.
Loveable but irresponsible.
There are a lot of people like that. Very charming, have lots of friends, but coast along on everyone's coattails. They are so much fun to be with, but when the fun ends, they are no where to be found. I have recently found out that what I thought was a very close friend is exactly like that. There for the fun, but when the going gets tough, she gets going while the rest of us tough it out.

Even if your roommate won't read it, I highly reccomend you reading Jane Pauley's book. I can't remember the name of it, but it came out last summer. People magazine did a feature on her and so did she on her own show.

[lambikins]

WOW!!! Did YOU open my eyes , myrosiedog! My mom's mental health deteriorated into MASSIVE, classic Bi-Polar disease by time she was into her 60's, but it was too late at that time to do anything. First, she never believed that "anything was wrong" with her, and secondly, she was too stubborn and had too many lacky friends to encourage her into wellness. I studied all that I could find out about Bi-Polar disease back in the 80's, to make peace with my upbringing by her, and so my knowledge is 26 years out of date.

I'm so glad that you shared your wisdom and experience with me and fellow posters; you did a WORLD OF GOOD by your candidness. I'm going to do research first, online, about the Bi-Polar 2, then look into Jane's book, and then bring it up to Michele. Since her world is so tiny by design, because it's a coping mechanism, I don't want to just throw information at her with no BIG base of knowledge. I know her; she'll refute it and hide from it. It's as if I'm the Mama bird that has to pre-digest material, and then urp it up for her to swallow. Her friends do the same thing for her...provide her with Baby Steps to follow. However, one thing about her, she does NOT bail on commitments to friends. She does bitch and moan about them (as I do myself when I've over-booked commitments) but if it's of value to HER, she does follow through. Apparently, old doctor bills are NOT a commitment she wants to "commit" to, however.

Thanks again, myrosiedog...YOU ROCK!!!

(edited to add: I'm going to rent that movie, this week end, to see if Cameron's character is at all like Michele. It will be a great reference point, if it is. I just couldn't think of a female character in TV or movies that she resembled. Thanks!!!)

[MRD]

Lambi,
I am at your comments. Thank you.

I am the poster child for depression and bi polar. I used to hide it. Was diagnosed over 20 years ago when mental health was a BIG no no. HAD to hide it away from everyone. But today, there is SO much that can be done, so much help to be had that there is no excuse to not do something about it.

My periods of hypo mania are I will clean the house with a freaking toothbrush. I don't sleep but a few hours a night (when in manic mode, normally I sleep a full night), I organize, organize, organize to the point it drives my family insane. Conversely when the depression hits, the house looks like a paper explosioin because I get very unorganized.
I also will talk a LOT when manic.

So its not like I'm doing harmful things like what most manics do, its just like I took speed or something and can't sit still.

Last year during the hurricanes (I live in Florida near ground Zero for Charlie and some of the others), I spent 2 weeks in manic mode. I had electricty, my friends did not. I did laundry for them constantly, I cooked meals daily. I had 23 people eating at my house one night. I served up showers for people (lots of people in our area are on wells, no electricity, no pump for the water). I fielded phone calls from ins. companies, family members, etc. as they also didn't have phones and we did and cell phone reception went with the towers that were blown down. I think I slept about 4 hours a night. I was a one woman hurricane shelter and independent red cross facility. This is what led me to read Jane's book. But at least I used my mania for good not evil.

ANd kudos to you for wanting to help your friend. I hope she knows she has a very special friend in you lambi. And despite not paying her bills, she sounds like a very loyal friend and those are few and far between these days.

[saltyj]

All right guys, I need some help.

There is a girl at my school (we're both high school seniors) who I cannot stand. I have the distinct feeling that this is mutual.

For example: If I'm talking to somebody, she has to steal their attention away, usually by whispering to them in the middle of my sentences. This happens especially with my guy friends.

We're in the same drama class, and I've started sitting next to this one guy I'm starting to be friends with. So, one day, she sat next to him while I went off to talk to other people. Okay, fine. The next day I sit next to the guy again and I hear her across the room, "Jessica stole my seat! I'm so mad."

She's generally unfriendly and cold toward me and...and grr. GRR. I don't know how I can stand much more of her.

[KimFan101]

Well, Its not suprizeing to find me here. Well, I have been haveing alot of troubles lately. I recently dropped out of High school ( December 5 2005 ) Because I told somone who I felt I trusted enough to tell him I was a lesbian. He told everyone else without my permission, and everyone started treating me like I shouldn't exsist.I told my parents ( mainly my mother ) I didn't like that school and I begged her to pull me out. And so she did. The school wanted me to go back, telling me it wasn't such a bad place, we didnt beleve them, they gave me us a veriady of choices and told me to choose in a week. Thats over now. My mom and dad, I feel as if they don't accept me for my sexual orentation. I have asked her for professional help and all she told me was " Oh Kathleen, go slice your wrists. Do anything that makes you happy." which was very painful to hear.I never go outside of my house anymore. Im afraid for people to see me, and Im scared of how they're going to judge me. I've been judged the wrong way one too many times and I told myself I will not be judged again. I have quit all my sports, I use to be in swimming and Weight Lifting, I dont have freinds here, I dont talk on the phone. I wach TV with my sister sometimes. When my family is away at school and work, I spend my time on the Internet and visit my animals. Mainly Scrappy. Scrappy, you can call him a friend, he's a 3 year old puppy, Terrier/Coonhound. But sometimes, he sleeps all day. So most of the time, I am alone and I spend time on here, or I go down to my room and pretend I am Kim from ANTM.

The other problems I have are that I have a very bad temper and I pretend that I am someone else in my room. I usully pretend that I am someone from ANTM ( Mainly Kim ) or me on CNTM if I ever got on there and I was a plus size model. I pretend that there are people around me and they're haveing decent conversations with me ( Sometimes me and Alexis fight, okay, okay, all the time.) I have a friend named Justine, shes awsome. Other then that, I practice my phycick abilitys ( not that i really have any ) and I write down thinks I think that I just predicted for the futer. And well. My big BIG problem is that people call me crazy. I don't like being called crazy when Im not. I feel very very depressed and I feel like I am left out 24/7 by everything. My mother tells me that shes gonna dye my hair everyday. I ask her once and she says " Tomorrow." and it goes on and on like that.Its not that so much. But I would really like to know some way or some how if my parents ever love me. Or maby if they ever did. I went to therepy sessions before but never returned because my parents never had enough time to take me and we live 15 minutes away from town. I tell people on the Internet my problems, but I know that it may never help. I use to feel better when I was in therepy, now im just not sure. so those are my problems.

[femme fatale]

I feel so sorry for you KimFan, I can't even imagine how you must feel.

[DesertRose]

Saltyj, try to ignore the girl, its possible she just wants to get you upset. She'll look like the idiot if you don't pay attention to her.

Kimfan, I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't know how old you are, but you have to try to stay in school. Isolating yourself from people won't help. Do you know an adult that can help you? An aunt, a friend of the family? Maybe you can stay with them a little while and maybe they can arrange for you to continue going to therapy. From what you said it made you feel better.

It seems like you live in a small town where everyone judges others. You do know that there is nothing wrong with you being a lesbian right? You don't sound crazy at all to me. Just lonely. Hang in there and please try talking to an adult you trust. .

[lambikins]

Kimfan: You cover a lot of issues in your post but I'm only going to touch on a few.

I echo DesertRose's affirmation that it's "okay" to be a lesbian, just as it's "okay" to be straight. High School is the Testing Ground for Youth and although everyone claims that they want to be "unique and different", if an individual dares to show those characteristics, the Pack Mentality of High School disavows that choice.

But most importantly, the impression that I got from your post is a lack, on your part, of taking claim of YOUR life and doing what you CAN. So what if your Mom won't help you dye your hair? Do it YOURSELF! And therapy, which you state helped you...it's a 15 minute car ride away? Okay, you've quit other sports....START WALKING!!! A 15 minute car ride should equal about 2-3 miles (unless you're flying at 80 mph). Get out of the house and WALK to therapy and then walk back. Exercise helps depression by increasing endorphins and it will also get you out of the house, and back into therapy.

If you are on-line, find a Teen Gay forum and begin to make friends at that site. NOT DATING FRIENDS, though!!! You need to focus on you, not dates, at the moment. Also, could you talk to your couselor at school (even the old school) and ask if there is a Gay Teen Support group? Or better yet, start one yourself and see who joins!

Rather than pull away from the world, you need to roll around in it and claim it for yourself. Be proud of who you are and the respect of those around you will follow.

Good luck.

[KimFan101]

I respect everyone's replyes to my post yesterday.Though, however, there is a few things I need to clear.

I am unable to walk from my house to my therapy sessions, because I would be gone the whole day walking there and back, or else I would. I live in a communety out of town called Pineview, and if to think, no one would be able to walk that far unless they where running away and desprate ( the farthest i got while running away was the welcome to PG sighn ). Im probably not able to dye my hair by myself mainly because im highly unintelegent and I would probably do something wrong ( My 15 year old sister who is younger knows more than I do ) and I can not simply love myself for who I am ( though I would love to ) because I could be walking infront of a mirror and point out every flaw on my body in an instant. I have been called hot once or twice in my entire life, once by a girl who only liked me for a week, and one from a guy who was most likely doing it out of pitty because he knew I hated myself ( tell you the truth, it was a bit obvious, but i dont know since i never asked him )

Okay, enough with this story, I need to all ask you something.

If you ask a guy about the honest truth of how he thought of you, and he replyed that he didn't want to say it because it wasn't in his nature to, but you forced him to and he said he though you where crazy and you felt bad about it, never talk to anyone for awhile and never realize you made it seem like you just started hateing him because he said it to you because you made him and then felt really bad afterwards, but dont know how to talk to him again, how do you talk to him again?

also, if you have a really bad anger problem and almost hit everyone around you because of...or wait, if you have a bad anger problem because you dont get something the way you want it, so you need to throw fists and scream just to get people to be afraid enough to give you want they want, then start crying after your tantrum because you never ment to get so angry, and you have said " sorry " one to many times and no one beleves you anymore, how do you apolojize to them? And how do you stop it?

[nlmcp]

I think you do need to get out of your house. It sounds like you are depressed, which for some people does come out as a deep anger. Isolating yourself will make the depression worse. Exercise has been shown to be very effective in decreasing depression both by itself and most effectively with antidepressents and counseling. Actually the walking all day to town and back, may help you in the long run. It would get you out of the house and moving and get you the therapy and contact it sounds like you need to get over this rough patch in life.

I'm going to agree with everyone about finding a support group for friends and infromation. Go online and look around.

Are you in school at all? It is possible to homeschool over the internet, a friend of mine's daughter did that when high school became to hard for her to deal with because of bullying. You need to get that high school degree because without it you will go no where.

Part of getting better will be learning to accept yourself. I can remember high school (which was eons ago) I always felt ugly, clumsy and that every thing I did was wrong. I had my very small group of friends but no social life beyond that at my high school. I just didn't fit in. It's funny now, looking at pictures of myself then. I wasn't bad looking, I just wasn't the blue eyed blond hair pencil thin cheerleader type, but I was much better looking then I thought I was.

Several things changed for me. I made friends in other towns because of interests I had. I made plans to get out of town as soon as possible, I went to college and never went back except for short visits. You need to start focusing on what is next for you. There are other places, other people and a change to start again. So what do you need to do now to get yourself there?

As for dying your hair. You could try it yourself, or just forget about it. Let your hair stay the color it is. Don't allow it to be an issue that you get upset about it's small compared to the other things. It will happen at somepoint.

Take care.