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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #1901
    Ms Ambusher dberk's Avatar
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    SKIPPING??????!!!!!!!! Too funny! Were you singing the Smurf's song?

  2. #1902
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Gabriel, did the hot toddy work? Hope you feel better!

    Well, I did go to the ER (actually drove myself) and 4 hours later, I'm home. The good news is that it's not broken! It is a pretty bad sprain. The doc says it's one of the worst he's seen in a while. He blessed me with a pair of shiny silver crutches, a very fashionable velcro shoe, and a buttload of pain pills! Sheesh, I played soccer for years and never sprained an ankle. It's hell getting old! I have learned two things from all of this. 1. Always wear socks to the ER! It's friggin' cold in there! 2. The next time my daughter wants to skip like Dorothy and the gang through the "forest", fake it!

    And dberk, it was not the Smurf's song. It was "Lions, and Tigers, and Bears"....Oh my!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  3. #1903
    FORT Fogey PGM35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lildago
    Well, I did go to the ER (actually drove myself) and 4 hours later, I'm home. The good news is that it's not broken! It is a pretty bad sprain. The doc says it's one of the worst he's seen in a while.
    Glad to hear it's not broken and that you got some things to make you feel better. I sprained my ankle badly as a child and my ankles has never been the same since. It was not the same one I broke so now I have two bad ankles! hang in there!!!

  4. #1904
    giz
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    I am totally at my wits end with my husband. He is logic man with abstract problems, but when it comes to real-life math he's clueless. If he doesn't have money, he spends it on credit. It's not like I wasn't warned, he was in debt when we were dating, but pulled himself out of it - I was brought up to be cheap, so I assumed it was a temporary abberation. I tried talking to him for ages about his spending with no success, and finally fed up with our growing debt and the mortgage payment bouncing and not being able to pay for groceries at the check-out, I took drastic action.

    Last spring I set up a seperate account accessible only to me, and at the beginning of every month I put in all the money I need for the mortgage, groceries and life insurance. I thought this was working alright. Now I find out Einstein has been dipping into the overdraft and, while I thought we were paying down our debt, every month he borrows back what we've just finished paying, plus a little bit more. We now owe $30,000 (above our huge mortgage). I thought it would be about 20 grand, and we could pay that off, and then try to save for a holiday, or renovation or something we all could enjoy, but NO, he's frittered it away. I am speechless. Well, no I'm not, I did some yelling. He says he will cut back, but he's said this before. As sneaky plan A did not work, does anyone have any ideas for sneaky plan B? Involving him in decision-making does not work, as he's hopeless about sticking to a plan. All I've come up with is that every time we pay it down a little, get them to cap it there so he can't keep ratching it up.

    I don't understand the psychology behind this. He makes about 4 times what I do, so it's tricky. The whole thing is making me feel sick, and like a hamster on a wheel.

  5. #1905
    FORT Fogey snoopy's Avatar
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    Sounds like the wheel is turning, but the hamster's dead! I am single, but used to be married. I managed the finances because he was incapable. Do you have any hope of taking his credit cards away? Can you get control of the checkbook? These sound like your only hope. Take his name off the mortgage if you have to. My best friend just managed to buy their home back after he let it go to auction for non payment of taxes. Only after all of her friends (me included) got $3,500 together for her. Find a horror story like that to show him, and ask him if that is what he wants to put your family through.
    Go Tigers!

  6. #1906
    giz
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    No, there's no hope of getting his credit cards. He pays most of the bills (that is, his income does), so I'd never get my name solo on the mortgage (and to be fair, it is half his, so wouldn't want to). It's funny, he's very good about paying his business bills, but when it comes to spending money he is completely without discretion. Well, on small items. He wouldn't buy a big ticket item without talking to me, but he will piss away thousands (tens of thousands apparently) on beer, coffee, clubs. Our kids have never been more than 30 miles away for a holiday, never gone skiing (unlike everyone they know), all my socks have holes in them, so do some of the chairs, yet he makes more than most dads in our upper-middle neighbourhood! I wish I could get control of the finances, but he's got a real thing about being "patronised" and it would totally put the frighteners up him. Maybe if I collect horror stories, anything that'll help!

    Edited to add: It's not like (if I was emperor) I wouldn't give him spending money, but as I spend about $40 a month on me, and he spends about $800 (currently) on himself, I'd lower that to, say, $200. Then we'd be getting somewhere. I'm curious as to where he sees himself in ten years time, 15 years time. I'd like to see myself debt-free and on a holiday. I feel like he's decided he will always be in debt and there's no use trying to save towards a goal. Totally alien to how I think.
    Last edited by giz; 11-08-2005 at 12:01 AM.

  7. #1907
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Would he agree to go to a financial planner? Sometimes it means more when a third party intervenes and sets up a doable budget. Also, I am sure he loves your kids, and college and university doesn't come cheap...it takes some planning. Good luck, it must be frustrating.

  8. #1908
    Ms Ambusher dberk's Avatar
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    My aunt died this morning.

  9. #1909
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    My condolences dberk...that's terrible. You are in my thoughts and prayers

  10. #1910
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    dberk, I'm sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts!


    I had a follow-up with my doctor this morning. It appears that in addition to the ankle sprain, I have torn some cartilage in my foot. I couldn't tell you the names of the small bones there but one of them has separated from the others due to the tear. I traded in my fashionable blue velcro shoe for an equally fashionable black boot that comes up to my knee. At least it matches the new black purse I bought last week!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

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