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  1. #1661
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Glitter, have you tried pinching the bridge of your nose? Also your left earlobe? You might want to give them a try.

  2. #1662
    Premium Member canuckinchile's Avatar
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    Yikes Glitter...sorry you are having to tough it out. It really shouldn't be that way. Really load on the ice packs if you can. Hope it doesn't ruin your entire weekend.

  3. #1663
    Cynical Optimist ThehappyCynic's Avatar
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    I'm bisexual, leaning more towards being gay than straight and I'm having a really tough time. Right now, I'm "closeted", but I'm sure everyone secretly knows what I am, or at least questions my sexuality. I've had a lot of bullies tease me for acting feminine at times, and as much as I try, I just cant seem to get it right. When I try to act manlier, it just comes off awkward. And no one at my school seems to care about homophobic comments. Sure, racism is wrong but homophobia is acceptable. Even though the teachers tell the students not to use homophobic language, their mentality remains the same and it really bothers me. I didn't ask to be the way I am. Hell, I'd give anything to be like everyone else. Not to mention, being gay is an "abonation" in God's eyes, which I don't understand. If being gay is so wrong, why did God make gay/bi people? He just made us to be sent straight to hell?

    I'm constantly worried my parents will find something of mine, or talk to the wrong person and I'll be outed before I even get the chance to out myself. I tried, many times, to out myself but I'm finding it to be extremely difficult. I'm close with my parents (and sister) and I dont want to ruin that.

    I'm a little bitter, as you can probably tell. I dont know how to go about "coming out". I almost came out to my sister once, but I couldn't get the words out.

  4. #1664
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    happycynic, You have a powerful tool in front of you, your computer. See if you can locate a teen group near you for LGBT teens. When I was growing up there was nothing except underground organizations. There is a group where I live in WI called Project Q. www.projectq.org maybe there is something like this in your area so you can talk with someone.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  5. #1665
    giz
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    Hi Happy Cynic,
    I knew I'd seen things in the paper where I live (on the coast) about groups for gay teenagers, and so I looked on the web, and there's a ton of groups (even in pretty small communities) that might work for you. If you look at GayCanada.com backslash categories backslash youth you'll find a directory of towns and cities in Canada with listings of the local groups. Good luck with it.

    I'm sorry you're being bullied. People can be such idiots. In B.C. theoretically it is not allowed to bully based on sexual orientation, but in practice the schools often seem to talk the talk without walking the walk. I'm hoping God's opinion isn't really praying on your mind (are you sure you're CAnadian ), I'm pretty certain God's got better things to do than worry about the sexual orientation of one person in one town, in one corner of the cosmos. From what I've read, a lot of people's parents suspect before they are told. Your mum and dad might have an inkling. They love you, and might be suprised (or not), but after the initial discomfort* will likely be pretty supportive. Also, remember that people's orientation is sometimes fluid over a lifetime, and just because you don't match the idea your peers have of some football playing testosterone driven lady's man, doesn't mean you might not enjoy playing on both teams. Good luck!

    *I think it's uncomfortable for parents to talk about anything to do with their kids' sexuality, just like we don't want to think about our parents ever having done it. ew-oooh!!

  6. #1666
    Cynical Optimist ThehappyCynic's Avatar
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    Thank you both for your advice.

    I'm bi, which really confused me for the longest time. I always knew I liked guys, but with girls it was more iffy. I was like "I think she's attractive, but is it in a way that a girl would call another girl pretty, or do I think she's hot?" I know it sounds stupid, but it really was confusing. In the end, I realized that I *am* bi, because I've been attracted to girls as well as guys.

    God is not weighing on my mind too much, it's just that my family is very Catholic and I border Atheism. They're not too happy about that.

    As for the groups, I'll look into it. Would I be able to get information and help discreetly? I wouldn't want anyone to know about this, though I guess they'll all know eventually...

  7. #1667
    giz
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    As for getting information discreetly, the gayCanada site has links to local sites, which you could either visit (depending on how small your place is and whether or not you worry about being spotted going in) or phone. Payphones or cell phones would come in handy there. I would imagine they would be able to give you information or counselling over the phone. The Catholicism might be tricky, but you could consider easing them into it by emphasizing the bi-nature of your nature, and infer that you wouldn't act on the gay side (some people might be in favour of full disclosure, but you know your parents best, and some parents deal better with a little information at a time). Even for people who have religious difficulties with some sexualities, they can't expect a person to be punished for thoughts, only actions. This could (potentially) give them time to get used to the idea. The world is a lot more clever than it used to be, and people are hopefully more wise about sexuality being brain-based, and not choice-based. You could bring this up with them as well. It is hard to feel different at any age, but you will find a community of the heart, people who will make sense to you, and you to them. High school's such a drag, cause you have to put up with all these people who, in adult life, you will never spend 5 minutes with again.

  8. #1668
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by giz
    High school's such a drag, cause you have to put up with all these people who, in adult life, you will never spend 5 minutes with again.
    I wish I could high five you here giz, I rarely interacted with anyone in HS, I absolutely hated it. Couldn't wait to leave. Never ever saw anyone from there again. and that was 30 years ago.
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  9. #1669
    Cynical Optimist ThehappyCynic's Avatar
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    Yeah, you're right. I'll probably never see these people again, right? I think where this falls the most is telling my family. I know that will definitely be difficult. It's not fair. I didn't do anything wrong, so why am I afraid of them shunning me away? I mean, it's not like anyone chooses to be the way they are, so why are they punished for it?

    But in a way I'm glad I was born this way. I'm more insightful and tolerant because of it. It opens your eyes and makes you more sympathetic to other people in similar situations, you know?

    I'm going to do some research online. Thanks again, guys.

  10. #1670
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    My grandmother passed away this morning. Actually, she was my step-father's mother. He's always been more of a father to me than my own dad and I thought of her as my grandmother. The funeral is on Tuesday and I'm not sure if I'll even be able to go. It's a 6 hour drive (make it 8 with kids).
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

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