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  1. #1281
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    All my kids are mad at me for petty little things that aren't even my fault. I wonder if there is some strange curve of the emotional gamut that they all hit at the same time. I feel like saying to them that if I die on the table Monday the only one who would miss me would be the dog. I know that's too harsh, so I'll bite my tongue like the gut (good) Mutter (mother) that I am. (That's with LONG vowel sounds for those of you who think my name refers to my stomach). I had my 20,000 mi. servicing on my exotic little Tiburon yesterday which included a tire rotation and there was a huge shimmy on the way back home. I called and they said, Oh yeah, you need to have those balanced, but that's not included in the price. So I have to go back this morning at an additional $65 or so. Piss-ants.
    Count your blessings!

  2. #1282
    Bitten Critical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter
    All my kids are mad at me for petty little things that aren't even my fault. I wonder if there is some strange curve of the emotional gamut that they all hit at the same time. I feel like saying to them that if I die on the table Monday the only one who would miss me would be the dog. I know that's too harsh, so I'll bite my tongue like the gut (good) Mutter (mother) that I am. (That's with LONG vowel sounds for those of you who think my name refers to my stomach). I had my 20,000 mi. servicing on my exotic little Tiburon yesterday which included a tire rotation and there was a huge shimmy on the way back home. I called and they said, Oh yeah, you need to have those balanced, but that's not included in the price. So I have to go back this morning at an additional $65 or so. Piss-ants.
    Gut - sounds like your kids are scared and don't know how to handle it. It's easier to be mad at you for something stupid than because you have cancer, even though that's more illogical. Once they see that everything is going to be okay (and I absolutely believe that it will), they'll calm down a bit. Years ago, when my dad had a brain tumor and surgery to remove it (he's fine now), I had feelings of frustration and irritation with him. Looking back, it was just my fear and inability to express that fear.

    I'm sorry about the stupid mechanics. I trust none of them, except the one my family has gone to for 25+ years (and for whom my mother now works). Why wouldn't they mention that the tires wouldn't be balanced? Seems to me like that's information you might need.
    Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' - Isaac Asimov

    I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "... I drank what?"

  3. #1283
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Yeah. Especially since I live 45 min. away. The drive home with the shimmy really freaked me out. I would have turned around and gone back right then, but I had a friend with me who was scoping out new cars.
    Count your blessings!

  4. #1284
    FORT Fogey Muduh's Avatar
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    I think I would speak to the manager and express my displeasure with them for withholding that information. I would probably also insist on it being done at no cost since they put you to so much trouble. But then, I'm the mechanics nightmare anyway. I Totally resent the way they act like women don't even have enough smarts to drive, let alone discuss a mechanical problem.

    Now about those snot nosed kids. They have every right to be as mad as they want, as long as they want, just as long as they keep it to themselves. Since you already have a couple of things on your mind that are more important than their little snits, I'd be forced to lay into them. They can get together and bitch till the cows come home but need to do it out of your ear shot.
    Last edited by Muduh; 07-15-2005 at 07:23 AM.

  5. #1285
    FORT Biscuit VeronicaBelle27's Avatar
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    Just reading the last page or two:

    Gutmutter, I'm so sorry to hear your painful news. My thoughts and prayers with you and your family. I just changed my avatar, like others here, in a small show of support.

    Waitressing: I waitress as my second job. My 9-5 job pays my bills and not a thing more. I waitress so that I have money in my wallet for necessities (and fun). The place I work in has high prices, we charge for refills, but do not have a liquor license. I have worked at all sorts of restaurants, and from my experience your tip list balances out, whether in a night, or in a week. Take last night for example: We had a large party, that we charged the 18% gratuity for, that told us we were wonderful and deserved more, so gave us an extra $20. Really great. On the flip side, I had a gentleman (no offense intended, only truth) that had probably just come to this country, and maybe in his country they don't tip (I know this for a fact, one of our waitresses is from there and she says they don't), but when he tells me I'm the best waitress and the tipping guidelines are right on the credit card receipt that he signed and still leaves me NOTHING, I find it hard to sympathize. Ugh. But the balance is there, on the same night I got a horrible (no) tip, I got 2 really nice ones. Just my 4 cents (2 plus babble)
    Could does not mean should

  6. #1286
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Gut, I'm with Muduh on this-let ME talk to them!!! If it were me, I'd be scared spitless! I am so much a blunderer that I never have had problems asking questions. Maybe your kids are afraid of asking the wrong question. I will be praying for you to have the strength and perseverance!

  7. #1287
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    I'm afraid I'm not as assertive as you and it really seemed when I called back yesterday that the guy was new and didn't know what he was doing. He had to keep asking someone in the background what the shimmy might be, what I should do about it, how much it cost, etc. Anyway, I went back this morning and they took care of it right away ($69) and it is gone. Water under the bridge. I had to stay there for hours, though because my friend decided she wanted the car she saw and I said I'd go with her when she got it. Well, she showed up with her year old granddaughter who is just learning to walk, so my job was to babysit (sitting played no part) waddling around after her all bent over in case she started to fall. Hmph. Not comlaining, though because she is my ride to and from the hospital Monday (in her new car). I got home just in time to honor my promise to take my youngest to the first showing of Willy Wonka (weird).
    Count your blessings!

  8. #1288
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Aww, Gutmutter, I wish you all the best. As you said, the sooner the surgery, the sooner the chemo, and the sooner you can be back at it with full health again. We're all pulling for you.

    Regarding your kids acting mad--the reason they're doing that is because they don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with all this right now. Kids have a really tough time wrapping their minds around things like this, and they are mad at the situation, which comes out seeming as though they're mad at you. I'm sure they love you, and they're just terrified of the unknown.

  9. #1289
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    Oooh, I'm late to the thread, too... but seeing all of the pink ribbons let me know something was way wrong. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, Gutmutter. I hope everything goes smoothly on Monday, and that you can get to fighting the damned thing quickly! I actually have my followup mammogram on Monday to ensure that my own lump hasn't grown... so I'll be thinking of you.

    And I'm with Manny.... the kids are acting that way out of fear. In children, fear often manifests itself as anger. I'm certain they're just scared as heck and this is their only release. Patience, comfort, and reassurance is what you all need right now.
    Never let the things you want make you forget about the things you have.

  10. #1290
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Gut,
    I agree with everyone about what is going on with your kids. They are flat out worried and not expressing it very well. This may sound stupid, but I know it helped when I was young and we had a bit of a family worry. Is there anything sort of silly you and the kids like to do together? For my family, it was making homemade banana splits and watching the old Errol Flynn 1939 "Robinhood" which has always been a family favorite and then watching some silly funny movie or piling into the car and going to the local drive-in with homemade popcorn and the family dog (we still have one of those in the area and I still go with friends sometimes if I'm stressed out) and watching a double feature or playing a rousing game of Hearts. We didn't really talk about it but just doing something that made everyone feel comforted and close as a family helped enormously. Right now, I'm sure you feel more like ambushing them with waterballoons.

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