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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #12221
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a difficult time recently, beerbelly. Sometimes it seems as though everything hits at once. Maybe individually you could take on all these challenges but having to deal with more than one is overwhelming. It's ok to lean on your friends then and let them support you. We love you!

  2. #12222
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Beerbelly - . I'll be sending good thoughts for your mother and you your way. I'm happy that people were there for you when you needed it.
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  3. #12223
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Sorry to hear about your mother's health.
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    Count your blessings!

  4. #12224
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Beerbelly, that was certainly a lot to handle all at once. I'm sorry about your friend situation and your mom's illness. I'll pray for your mom's health and hope you are feeling better. It's great that angels come to you like that. It's happened to me too. Miracles happen everyday. Take care.
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  5. #12225
    Red Sox Nation Brooks's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    One week ago a coworker died from brain injury from a bicycle accident (yes, she was wearing a helmet). We had worked very closely for more than 20 years and I considered her one of my best friends. A rare spirit who enriched countless lives. The outpouring by the company and clients has been phenomenal.

    There were only a few of us here who did this work and none of us were in her league of talent and efficiency. A core three of us had joked that none was allowed to leave or retire because the loss of any would be completely unmanageable. So the plan was for one of us to win one of the really big lotteries and take most of the department with us. We can't absorb her workload, although we're going to give it a try, and she can't be replaced, although the department has to give that a try too. Those of us who will have the burden of dealing with the caseload have families who will be affected by our absence. My husband is disabled and emotionally very fragile. What was to be our only real vacation this year, last June, was disrupted when he spent most of those nights in a local hospital. He's still recovering. We were hoping for a redo this September but I don't see how I can get away.

    I have never faced a sudden loss like this, aside from my furkids. I think I'm coming to terms with the spiritual side of it, but the day-to-day grind and chaos is suffocating and overwhelming. Ironically my best chance for getting through it is to try to emulate her as best I can. She was the most can-do person I've very known. And the people I work with are all family, and all devastated by the loss and supporting each other.

    It's not like she's really gone. She still has food in the company refrigerator with her name on it...

    I was the person entrusted to go through her company email account to sort out client stuff and delete personal stuff. I came across a picture she had taken of a bouquet of flowers I gave her last May at a time when she needed a gesture from a friend. It has special meaning for me. I'm not beyond thinking she took and saved that picture so I would come across it later when I needed a gesture too.
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  6. #12226
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Oh Brooks, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the shock and loss you are feeling. I don't understand how and why things like this happen. Your friend/colleague sounds like a wonderful person. Your words of tribute to her are so beautiful and touching. From what I've read, sharing our feelings and cherished memories helps with the pain. I hope you and your husband can manage some kind of a get-a-way this fall. It sounds like you both could really use that time together.

  7. #12227
    Red Sox Nation Brooks's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks, Debb, it helps to write about it here.

    All week my company and the closest departments have been honoring her death and providing grief support. It's made a difference to a lot of us.

    I hope hubby and I can get away. What may be even more important for him is the hope that we can do it so he has something to look forward to. So I can't trash that hope by sharing with him what I think we're up against, and besides maybe I'm wrong about it.

  8. #12228
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I see. The anticipation of a trip is most of the fun for me. I hope it works out.

    It's so good that you get such great support at work. Please let us know here, how things are going.
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  9. #12229
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Brooks - so sorry for the loss of your friend.

    Our company lost a manager in a freak accident last year. He was jogging and collided with a bicyclist. Both were severely injured, but Mike's injuries were so severe that he did not recover. The saddest part was that he had no ID with him, and his wife didn't know for hours that he had even been injured. (She found out when Mike's admin called her to ask if he were coming in to work, as he had missed an important meeting. She had left for work after he left to go running, and did not know he hadn't come home.)

    His family has channeled their grief into a campaign to get people to carry ID at all times, even when they're exercising and want to carry as little with them as possible. It has helped those who loved Mike to feel that his perhaps some good could come out of this tragedy.

    I've said all that to say this: Might it be the same for your company? Could some type of focus be given for a memorial or activity that would honor your friend and help those remaining to focus on bringing good out of it? Perhaps a fund-raiser to buy bike helmets for kids or something?
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  10. #12230
    Red Sox Nation Brooks's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Not as many "what ifs" in this situation as there might have been. She was biking with a friend who happened to be a nurse. No shortage of excellent hospitals in the area. So she was in the ER and family contacted as soon as that could have been possible. No chance the outcome could have been different. No cars involved, just sudden rough terrain. The helmet didn't protect her against a sideways blow to her head when she hit the ground.

    I have thought of her as my best friend although there are a couple others who could qualify for that, and all among the same group I work with, a real blessing to be a part of that kind of community. I sort of already knew, but it became very apparent once she was gone, that she had an extraordinary ability to be whatever kind of friend someone needed. She had an equal ability to enrich the lives of others, just because. I know there are discussions going on about how to honor her but I think it's rather simple. Be that friend in need, and be that person who brings joy and enrichment to others, just because. Her work and homelife demands were crushing, so there wasn't any extra time but somehow she found it.

    My cats have taught me a lot about spirituality. I think my friend qualifies as an "old soul". I hope I run into her again.
    Cootie, AZChristian and Debb70 like this.

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