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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #12161
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thank you. I haven't heard from her today, but the family is rallying around to offer to help pay for a temporary place. She's agreed not to go back to the old apartment alone or at night.
    Count your blessings!

  2. #12162
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Gutmutter Sending thought and prayers your way. What a scary worry. I'm glad they found another place to stay.


    On the money issue... People can always "find" money for things they want and not for things they need.


    MsDiva2007 We were being asked to send money for all kinds of necessities. After we found out we had funded a few trips and fun items. The next time we were asked for money, we asked for information so we could send the money directly to where it was suppose to go...apartment manger's address, doctor's address, school address...you get the idea. Well, we never received the information and the request stopped.

    We felt the same way KatesMom, consider it a gift because we knew we would never see the money again.
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  3. #12163
    FORT Fogey MsDiva2007's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle David View Post
    I love my family, and we are all very close. However. we're not all created equal monetarily, so sometimes we have to help each other. We had your problem many years ago, but came up with a solution that has worked for us. We continue to loan each other money when someone is in need, but ONLY if the person in need doesn't already owe us money. This gives each individual an incentive to repay the loan at their earliest convenience. And, best of all, it's no longer awkward saying no. After all, rules are rules!

    Make no mistake, we would never let another member of the family suffer. This applies primarily to convience/non-emergency loans.

    This is my Problem I don't want to see my sister suffer so I cave in every time. Its just if you already know you are having the same problem every month then you need to find a job to make up your short fall. I am not the bank and when I take money out to give to you I want to see it come back into my account. Its starting to get out of control so yes I just need to play hardball now. I created a monster with the free flowing money loans,lol
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  4. #12164
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    MsDiva2007-can you just say "I'm sorry...I can't do that this month!" and let it lay....and the next month say the same thing.
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  5. #12165
    FORT Fogey MsDiva2007's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by famita View Post
    MsDiva2007-can you just say "I'm sorry...I can't do that this month!" and let it lay....and the next month say the same thing.
    what just set me off is when she asked me to buy a plane ticket for her to Chicago with me and I know she has not even the money for her rent when she gets back. I would ind up footing her expenses while gone and she still hasn't paid me back yet from the last time!
    Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
    Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #12166
    Teach your children Uncle David's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by MsDiva2007 View Post
    This is my Problem I don't want to see my sister suffer so I cave in every time. Its just if you already know you are having the same problem every month then you need to find a job to make up your short fall. I am not the bank and when I take money out to give to you I want to see it come back into my account. Its starting to get out of control so yes I just need to play hardball now. I created a monster with the free flowing money loans,lol
    Years ago we had a similar problem. When we realized we needed to 'play hardball' we decided on an alternate solution to money. We offered to pay for one more month. If by the next month she didn't have the money we would help put her belongings in storage, and she would have to sleep on couches till she could find a place she could afford. The plan was she would have to rotate to different homes each week so no one person was always put out. It was surprising how quickly she came around.
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  7. #12167
    8/2/64 until forever! AZChristian's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Several years ago, we called the (adult) kids together and said, "We love you both, but we regret to inform you that the Bank of Mom and Dad has gone out of business." The requests stopped, and neither of them is homeless or starving. Son did ask for a loan later, which we required a promissory note for, and it was paid back promptly. The next request was for a much larger amount, and was needed because of some really stupid financial decisions on the part of him and his wife. We declined. So far, no further requests have been forthcoming.
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  8. #12168
    FORT Fogey Photobabe's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I have money lending rules very similar to the rules of Uncle David. When I lend money to a family member or a friend I make it very clear that there will be no additional money from me until that particular loan is repaid. To keep handing out money to folks who frequently ask is simply enabling them to be fiscally irresponsible. It's like buying whiskey for an alcoholic.
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  9. #12169
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion pikachu's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I agree with Photobabe's policy of not giving out more money until past loans are repaid. That makes it clear that repayment is expected and closes the door on future loans without return.

    If you keep giving her fish, she'll never learn how to catch her own!

  10. #12170
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Keep in mind we teach people how to treat us.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

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